Head been spinning with this so would really like some opinions, maybe I’m blowing out of proportion
Had many dates with someone since late December. He’d had a break up in later October and we took things very slowly, only did the deed in February and mostly developed a friendship in this time. The last couple of weeks we have got much closer and it’s started to feel like the beginning of a relationship. Throughout the last couple of months I had understood that there were some loose ends to tie up with this ex - some stuff at her house and they were going to meet in the new year just to clear the air. He said he wasn’t really sure why she ended it, it was all vague and quite out of the blue, so he wanted this conversation to better understand what had happened. I was fine with this and he was always eager to tell me he had no desire to be with her (when she did text briefly in January about something practical he sent a very nice but simple message back and didn’t try to chat with her further).
Last week he came over on Tuesday after work. This is usual for us and we’ve been doing it for a few weeks. He seemed a bit down and after a while he admitted that he had seen a photo of his ex on Facebook on holiday with someone she was clearly in a relationship with. He was with her for two years but he didn’t break it off. He explained it was a bit of a shock and that he didn’t want to get back with her but he couldn’t stop thinking about the timing of it and whether she had met him while they were together etc. He also said he felt confused because they were supposed to meet in the new year and he never felt he had the opportunity to properly close the door on it all, a bit like it was hanging over him. I suggested he just ask her about this new relationship and the circumstances if it was affecting him that much. He did and she replied saying they’d met shortly after she broke up with him and that yes she was in a relationship and she said sorry for putting photos up without telling him first.
Anyway...since she’s told him this it’s like a weight has been lifted from him... he even said ‘I feel like a burden has been lifted.’ I’ve asked him why this is and he said part of his poor mental health is that he always wants certainty and to understand things and doesn’t like animosity with anyone. This does ring true for me with him as that’s exactly how I would describe him. BUT all of this has thrown me a bit. I felt we were progressing as a couple and then now I realise that all this time he was still analysing a past relationship? I’ve expressed my concern to him and he’s been desperate to tell me that it’s me he wants and that he sees a future with us and hopes that we will continue.
Would this bother you or put you off? As I said at the start, I really really like him and before this happened I felt deep down that this would go somewhere.