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Original poster

Was this a bit flirty?

69 replies

Flairhead · 02/03/2020 16:22

I signed up to OLD again a couple of weeks ago and yesterday I got a message from a guy I used to work with. We were in the same department for a while, didn't speak very much but I always thought he was good looking and I did fancy him, I think he liked me too, but I was with my now ex so nothing ever happened.

A few years ago he got married, then got a job with another company, so left and I haven't seen him since.

Then yesterday, he messaged me through the OLD site saying 'looks like both our marriages have gone to shit. Good luck' followed by a thumbs up emoji. We exchanged a few messages, general catching up, and he said there were always vacancies at his company and I could easily move up to supervisor level within a year, finishing by saying 'I could even interview you' followed by a laughing emoji.

I do like this guy, although I'm not looking to move jobs, but could this maybe be interpreted as a bit flirty? In which case should I keep chatting? I thought maybe leave it to the end of the week and send a message just saying hi, how are you, etc.

Urgh, I'm so bad at this. Advice welcome!

OP posts:
PetitTorteois · 03/03/2020 08:31

Flirty? Seriously?

Ryantrain · 03/03/2020 08:33

Its a bit creepy to say i could interview you.. harvey weinstein comes to mind.

TobyHouseMan · 03/03/2020 09:05

You know this man. You have shared history. He was using that to converse with you. That's what you do when you talk to people, you find common ground.

If you're interested in a possible relationship then why not flirt a little back, something like :-

'Looking for someone to give me shoulder rubs after a hard day in the office 😜'

Life is just too short to over think things sometime. Go for it.

PumpkinP · 03/03/2020 09:16

For me it was the first message. Didnt sound like he was looking to extend the conversation with the “good luck”

MorrisZapp · 03/03/2020 09:20

Just wait until the next time you're drunk, and send him something brazen.

Sink or swim!

Original poster
Flairhead · 03/03/2020 09:23

Here's the messages, there were a few afterwards as well but just for context

Was this a bit flirty?
Was this a bit flirty?
Was this a bit flirty?
OP posts:
FinallyHere · 03/03/2020 09:24

putting an exploratory toe into the water to see if the other person is interested

This ^ absolutely this wot @PurrBox said

It's the way I would make contact with someone in the first instance. I would want to start a conversation which I could easily withdraw from if it turned out he wasn't interested. And in the process suss him out about before admitting that I might be interested.

I wanted to post something similar but deleted it as I thought it might be too old fashioned. I can't imagine actually talking to a stranger about a 'date'. I'd rather start with the friendship route and see whether anything develops.

okiedokieme · 03/03/2020 09:38

I experienced this, and yes it was flirting though in my case that's where it ended, I knew his (ex) wife and the complete history to the split (she left him because he was a workaholic and never paid her any attention in the bedroom dept not that he knew that I knew that!)

Peanutbuttermouth · 03/03/2020 09:46

Choose one route or the other - job or man. Otherwise nobody knows where they stand. Talking about jobs isn't flirting. If you want to date him, change topic and ask him for a drink - NOT to discuss jobs.

Lippy1234 · 03/03/2020 10:22

The messages really don’t sound like flirting. More like he’s trying to recruit you.

MagnoliaJustice · 03/03/2020 10:28

Take the conversation off the dating site if you're interested in working for the same company as him - but if you were to work there, any romance might not happen.

If you're happy where you currently work, then I would suggest meeting for a drink and a chat to see if there's any chemistry between you. He also says he's still 'technically' married, so make sure he is actually separated!

Bunnyfuller · 03/03/2020 10:42

Sorry, doesn’t sound flirty to me. The thumbs up reads as good luck goodbye.

You can message something like so what else have you been up to? Ask him when his break up was - anything but work!

PumpkinP · 03/03/2020 10:45

Yeh I’m still not reading it as flirting tbh. He says he could interview you as you said you’re horrible at interviews. Change the subject if you are really interested in him and see how that goes?

deydododatdodontdeydo · 03/03/2020 11:15

That is some spectacularly un-sexy flirting Confused
I've had more racy conversations with recruitment consultants on LinkedIn.

PumpkinP · 03/03/2020 11:21
Grin
Original poster
Flairhead · 03/03/2020 11:23

Hahaha! Maybe a bit of wishful thinking from me then, though others are saying he is flirting, who knows! Still think he wouldn't have bothered even sending a message if there was no interest at all though, I know I probably wouldn't have, especially when we didn't even talk all that much.

OP posts:
Lippy1234 · 03/03/2020 11:32

Why not try messaging and not talking about work at all?

deydododatdodontdeydo · 03/03/2020 11:33

I mean, doesn't mean he isn't interested. He could just be testing the waters.

Original poster
Flairhead · 03/03/2020 11:37

That's my plan, just message him on Saturday maybe, ask how his week has been, any plans etc.

OP posts:
Alicenwonderland · 03/03/2020 11:44

It's a dating site, he wouldn't have messaged if he wasn't interested. It's really hard when you see someone you know on a dating site but aren't sure how to play it. I messaged a single parent of a child I used to care for. Our initial conversations were very similar to yours. We did end up dating briefly. I'd bite the bullet and ask if he'd like to meet for a drink. Worse he can say is no. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Tattooedmama · 03/03/2020 11:49

Yeah i have to be honest, it dont sound flirty to me at all.
I would maybe start changing the subject and see where the conversation flows

PumpkinP · 03/03/2020 12:17

No one is saying he isn’t interested, he might be interested, he might not, just that the messages aren’t flirty (IMO anyway) no harm in seeing if the conversation goes anywhere, other than work related. You will find out sooner or later if he is.

LonginesPrime · 03/03/2020 12:19

Its a bit creepy to say i could interview you

Agreed - if this was flirting, OP, I'd stay away anyway (unless you're into sleazy men, of course!).

Talkingmouse · 03/03/2020 12:22

You are overthinking this. But you also should keep work and dating separate.

If you like him, as you seem to: reply back, flirting, on a non work topic.

If you might want a job at his company in the future, kill this chat on OLD and reply via LinkedIn.

Lipz · 03/03/2020 12:23

There's not a hope he would have messaged you if he wasn't interested. He probably seen your profile and wondered what to write so he wrote about these job. If anyone came across a profile of someone they had no interest in or didn't want to talk to, then they'd scroll on by in the hope you never see their profile. Men are crap with emojis, I wouldn't take the thumbs up too seriously. The interviewing you himself does sound flirty. Just keep on massaging and see where it goes.

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