Totally blanking me

[wishing4sun]

Me and DP 18mths had a blazing row on Saturday night we don't live together, he was staying at mine and has totally removed all his stuff gone back to his and is ignoring all calls.

The row was my fault but fuelled by alcohol, I have apologised. I don't know what else to do he is now away for 10 days with work and I just want him to talk to me instead of total blankness.

Ah shit OP, sorry to hear that . Awful to be blanked....extremely frustrating

BUT sounds like he is extremely angry , if he took all his stuff. Give him some time to calm down.

Is he any good at communicating when problems arise? Is the silent treatment common? Because if this is what he's usually like, be prepared for a life time if coldness and unresolved issues!

Taking all your stuff is a nasty message to give to someone you claim to love. It's neither the respectful way to end a relationship, nor the respectful way to stay in one.
How bad was the row, OP? Unless you were abusive towards him, I think it's very unpleasant of him to leave you on tenterhooks. Has he had any tantrums before?

It was bad we were out at a friends for a planned games evening which he arranged he wanted to go home early I didn't, he left I stayed and didn't get home till the following morning, I decided to stay at friends as knew we would row this was a mistake on my part. His usually pretty open I think it's because his going away and we wont see each other now for 2 weeks.
I feel awful but can't rewind and just want to fix it.

I think you need to give him a bit of space. I'd be pissed off, too, if I were going away for 2 weeks and my bf decided to stay out all night. It is probably a culmination of matters that resulting in him thinking he's had enough.

You stayed out all night?

When you know you arent going to see eachother?

Why did he want to go home? Unless he has form for cutting nights short, not sure why you wouldnt go with him.

I honestly don't know it's not normal behaviour from me at all if had a tough week at work and been a bit poorly, he arranged it weeks ago but I could of done with out it, but we went anyway. I think I just had to much to drink.

I’ve read the op a few times and can’t see where the op says he took the stuff he give to her? She said he took his own stuff. Tbf it does sound like you was at fault and maybe he isn’t ready to speak to you.

I think I'd be upset if I were him too. I think you should give him a bit of time.

So you rowed at the party and he left pissed off? Or you stayed and rowed after? I don't really fully understand. Either way, I can understand that he's upset, but blanking you isn't a good way to deal with it.

Mm sounds deliberately engineered imo

He gets 2 weeks away as a single man now right?

Is he upset because you stayed out and he wanted the time with you before he left or is it because, as his girlfriend, you should behave a certain way (leave when he says, don't drink so much, or stay out all night)

If the former, you've apologised, give him space to get over it. If the latter, fuck him and go no contact.

Its hardly the end of the world if you stayed out all night. He knew where you were. Yes he may have cause to be angry but I think he's going ITT if you ask me. The silent treatment is also not a very adult way to deal with things. I would leave him to it for now.

And I also agree this could be deliberate given the timing! Just sounds like a complete over-reaction. Also why did he want to leave early from something he organised? Very fishy.

Hmm. I'd be curious to hear the other side of this story.
I can't help but think that if this was reversed (and there are MANY threads where the man binges on alcohol and goes AWOL all night.) the person at home worrying would be the one getting the threads sympathy.
Is there a possibility that he believes you have a issue with alcohol?
Did you deliberately avoid time with him before he went away?

I agree I'm the one in the wrong, i didn't purposefully avoid time with him, I don't believe he thinks I have a problem with alcohol I enjoy a drink but not excessively. I'm a wally that got a little carried away. And think probably giving him a little time is what's needed, just frustrating.

Thanks for your replies.

I agree the other way round I would be really cross but don't believe I would leave with no contact.

tobedtoMNandfart this is MN though so the man HAS to be in the wrong. even though the op admitted she was the one in the wrong and started the argument. People will still find a way to blame the man.

I think if u were a man and stayed out all night MN would saying LTB to the poster, I get women stick together but it sounds like u have been a nob OP and had too many drinks, if I was you I would text and apologise and leave him to have some space, and obviously you may need to judge how you act after having one too many in the future, if it was a one off then fair enough, balls in his court I'm afraid, but it does sound a bit OTT for him to leave and take his stuff, I'm guessing there may be more of a back story to this.

I'd leave it

If he's taken his stuff, not answering you etc he's clearly over it , and like another poster says will enjoy his 2 weeks of freedom

If he's not over it then not replying is wankerish and I wouldn't go near him again anyway

How long have you been together?

Hang on, everyone saying she 'stayed out all night' as though she went AWOL. He knew exactly where she was so its hardly the same as just not coming home.
If my other half didn't want to leave a party and I did, I would tell him to stay if he wanted and leave on my own. I certainly wouldn't spit my dummy out...

Well the DP was the one who wanted to go to the games night, and chose to leave early. Should OP's night be cut short whenever DP decides its home time for her?

I suspect the staying out all night was the icing on the cake.

The OP was drunk, they argued in front of friends. Then she stayed out all night. Why would he stay.

I suspect he is done or at least considering that option. That he took his stuff indicates he’s not up for a discussion.

All depends on the reason he wanted to go.

Surely everyone has arranged nights out then regretted and wanted to leave. Sometimes things happen between planning and going that means you arent up for it.

If dp wanted to leave, wasn't usually like that I would go with him. Like he would if it eas the other way round. Especially if one of us were going away.

If a man stayed out all night, on a night out he didnt even want to go on, people would say it was playing games and punishing the woman for wanting to go home.

Op could have not gone home, with him, but actually gone home before the next day.