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Original poster

Should I be worried that he has been messaging another woman?

57 replies

Mum2one2019 · 29/02/2020 19:49

Hi, so I looked through my partners Instagram private messages because I suspected something. He sells cars, last march 2019 he sold a car to a 21 year old lady which ended up having some problems with so he had to keep in touch to resolve the issues with the car.
He then messaged her on Instagram to say sorry about the problems would you like to come out for a drive to make up for it.
She politely declined but said maybe next time. He then messaged her again saying him and all his mates were going out one evening and would she like to come. Again she declined.
He has since messaged her this January saying did you get my WhatsApp message.
I have checked his WhatsApp and can't find a message on there. I guess he has deleted it.
He then messaged saying are you know designing trainers with heart emojis. She hasn't replied.
She obviously isn't interested but he seems to keep messaging her.
What should I think? What would you do in this situation?
I mean, imagine if she was interested, does that mean he would he cheat?
I want to confront him, but don't want the usual why are you looking through my phone speech, plus I want to keep it open incase I find any evidence of him actually cheating.

OP posts:
Enchiladas · 29/02/2020 19:51

I would be not only worried but very angry. That's not appropriate at all for a man who is in a relationship.

IamtheOA · 29/02/2020 19:53

Totally inappropriate

MashedSpud · 29/02/2020 19:53

Poor woman he’s almost stalking her.

LemonTT · 29/02/2020 19:55

Why do you want to confront him? You know he has been chasing after another woman. Either that is ok or not?

If not, act on it. Don’t “confront” him. That’s just saying you want to give him the opportunity to spin you a line.

TimeForPlentyIn2020 · 29/02/2020 19:56

Creepy!

lifeisgoodmostofthetime · 29/02/2020 20:01

He seems obsessed with her.

I'd see that as he is looking to cheat on you

Doggybiccys · 29/02/2020 20:01

Awful OP. Bin him.

anotherdisaster · 29/02/2020 20:02

I agree with @LemonTT the evidence is right there in black and white. He has been chasing some young girl repeatedly, even when she has turned him down. Beyond creepy.
You do not have to justify yourself for looking at his phone. Just tell him what you found and tell him its over.

Doggybiccys · 29/02/2020 20:02

Sorry didn’t answer your question- no you shouldn’t be worried as you know exactly what’s going on and you need to bin him off - worrying is for when you are not certain of an outcome. Flowers

FlaskMaster · 29/02/2020 20:03

Grim. He's messaging because he wants a shag off her, obviously. The only reason he hasn't shagged her is that she's not interested at all. She won't be the only one either. He obviously thinks this is an ok way to behave, and if he fancies someone else in future, he'll do the same again. He might have been faithful so far but not for want of trying. Do you want to wait around to be cheated on or do you want to accept he's inclined to be a cheater, and isn't committed to be faithful to you, and get rid of him?

pinkyredrose · 29/02/2020 20:03

How old is your partner? He's harassing this woman ffs, he's probably scaring her!

partofthepeanutgallery · 29/02/2020 20:03

Ick

Babooshkar · 29/02/2020 20:04

oh no, that’s very creepy Confused

Flutteringsatlast · 29/02/2020 20:05

My dh would be out on his arse for this...

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 29/02/2020 20:07

Sorry OP but yep he's after her. Even though she's not interested. That's pretty gross.

Depending · 29/02/2020 20:12

If that was me I'd message the girl he was texting and you show up instead, dirty creep he is, you either let is sly or forever wonder that he's at it again,

MsDogLady · 29/02/2020 20:13

He has already crossed a line by pursuing this woman. Repeatedly. If that is a dealbreaker, end it with him. Tell him it’s just not working.

Queenoftheashes · 29/02/2020 20:16

Wow this fucking sucks.
He’s a creepy stalker and obviously he’s attempting to cheat on you as well. It’d be bad enough if he was single. Slimy fuckboy sliding into her DMs...

Original poster
Mum2one2019 · 29/02/2020 20:20

Yes every single one of you is right. It's not acceptable behaviour. I know that but he can be very deceptive and spin it around. He's very good with his words. I've tried to leave him twice recently but he manages to stay around.
This lady is 21, that what it says on her instagram account. It's private, I've tried to add her on one of my business accounts so she doesn't know who it is but she hasn't accepted. My partner is 43!!!
I've looked through other things on his phone and can't find any other messages to other woman.
Ffs I don't need this right now!

OP posts:
anotherdisaster · 29/02/2020 20:28

She;s half his age - yuk. Can you take photos of the messages? You need evidence so he doesn't just completely deny it.
Surely it doesn't matter if he tries to spin it around. You tell him what you found and kick him out on his arse. End of.

Original poster
Mum2one2019 · 29/02/2020 20:36

Yes gross when I discovered she is 21!
Like seriously dude what's wrong with you?!
I actually have her number, our contacts are syned on my phone. Should I text her and ask her what he sent on WhatsApp?

OP posts:
RLEOM · 29/02/2020 20:42

I wouldn't text her. She's not interested in any of it and you already have your evidence.

Take your time, get your ducks lined up (which could take a while), then leave.

CalleighDoodle · 29/02/2020 20:43

God he is awful isnt he. Harassing a 21 year old.

Aquamarine1029 · 29/02/2020 20:45

The only question I have is why are you still with him? He would cheat on you without batting an eye, and he is nearly stalking this poor young woman. He is a disgusting creep.

Ughmaybenot · 29/02/2020 20:48

Why would it matter what he’s sent her on WhatsApp? He’s clearly chasing after another woman, a much younger woman who clearly has no interest in your sleazy husband, what more do you need to know?

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