DH watching porn

[MrsNamechangeforthis2]

Me and my DH share the same apple account on our phone's so we each get each other's photos.
Today I just had a look in my photos to show my 5 year old daughter something to find a porn, a photo man and a woman. I told him, he then scuttled off it's now deleted. I don't really know what to say to him. The screen shot was last night when I was asleep next to him. We haven't slept together for 2 weeks I've been recently diagnosed with an illness and I've been quite poorly and tired I've also got two small children to take care of. We've been together 18 years nothing like this before. We are mid 30s

how do you keep a man happy? Keep his balls empty and his belly full, women have it easy
You mean that it's easy to have sex even if you are feeling too ill to do so? If OP has a decent husband, he'll be cooking for her while she's ill. Rather than going back to the 1950s where your friend's grandmother is from.

Ignoring the other aspects, it is not on for him to be putting that stuff on your shared account, MrsNamechange.

Ok @SheffieldMr women have it easy!!! Thanks that’s the best laugh I’ve ever had.
You sound like a deluded, sexist creep.

@MrsNamechangeforthis2

Your H didn’t cheat after you’ve been diagnosed with an illness.
He had a quiet wank.
His only mistake was leaving a pic on the phone that triggered your insecurities.
Your issue really, not his.

If you can honestly say that never ever in your life have found another man attractive - then you can fault your H for using some visual aids for his wank. Otherwise - I think you need to take a breath and just live your life

@SheffieldMr thanks for signing on to Mumsnet for the first time to share your incredible insights btw.

Have the school holidays finished now in the UK?

He used their shared account to save the photo, so that it appeared on her phone when she wanted to show their 5-year-old a photo.

Not on at all.

MMmomdd
I never said he had but somebody was giving me some advice that he would if I don't starting playing the duty full wife soon.

You sound like a deluded, sexist creep.

@Chinks123 and a single one at that 🤣

A woman once told me some smart advice she learnt from her grandmother, how do you keep a man happy? Keep his balls empty and his belly full, women have it easy

Yes, women are widely known to have an easier life than men with less challenges, more entitlement and no expectations to control the behaviour the opposite sex. Oh, wait...

Also I'm very happy to have a fuckload if sex with my other half, and to make him dinner on a regular basis. Because he's not a sexist arsehole and he manages to make dinner for me too.

When I'm a grandma if I wanted to give my grandsons advice on their sex lire, I would probably say:

Being a fun, mutually respectful partner who treats women as equals means you'll get a fuckload of cracking shags from women who actually find you attractive, rather than those shagging you out of a sense of duty.

@SheffieldMr A woman once told me some smart advice she learnt from her grandmother, how do you keep a man happy? Keep his balls empty and his belly full, women have it easy

It’s not up to women to ensure a man’s happiness. What kind of outdated,
misogynistic bullshit is that!?

@LittleWing80 yes surely! if he thinks women have an easy life he can’t have lived with one. Or maybe I’m just missing out on this relaxed lifestyle of cooking and shagging all day.

I really don't see the big deal, it's a biological thing for most men (yes we are pigs sometimes, but it's time this was just accepted okay?). Hell, my wife watches porn while 'destressing' sometimes and I don't see a reason to be jealous of it. Some might call it a form of cheating I guess but I don't see sense in that. I find it funny that so many think that once you're married or in a relationship you're not allowed to find other people attractive, that's just denial and insecurities looming.

Trafficking of children is no big deal. Men are pigs sometimes, oh well. Porn is fine. Nothing to see here. Move along

Where the hell did trafficking of children come into it?

@1amFleshIambone
Vibrators are not trafficked and abused for female pleasure. I hardly think you can compare porn use to people using sex toys.

Actually that does depend on the resources that were used to make them. Porn in my view is overwhelming made by abusing women, What is also true is certain brands of electrics and shoeware are also made by abusing children and poor. I wonder how many rallying about the moral issue extend it to things that effect them.

Yes, we should all make more ethical choices, obviously. That doesn't change my point that comparing porn to vibrators doesn't make any sense. Porn can never be ethical. I don't even see the argument.

mobile.twitter.com/LisaAtNCOSE/status/1224871226063163393

Pornhub shows images of trafficked and abused women and children. If you are against this, please sign the petition.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/voices/pornhub-trafficking-exploitation-change-petition-sex-work-decriminalisation-a9369616.html%3famp

Blimey we now just have to ‘accept ‘ that men are pigs sometimes. Get with the programme ladies. We actually have to ‘accept’ jack shit. We can decide to be ok about something or REN enthusiastic about it or choose to not be ok and make choices, but we don’t have to ‘accept’ — just as none of us of either sex have to accept debt or gambling or infidelity or drugs or alcoholics etc.

You're going to get mixed responses on this... watching porn is what it is and I have masturbated whilst my partner was asleep once. Doesn't make me a creep in my opinion.

@PrettyLittleLiar20 very very well said!

I’d be annoyed at his carelessness for screenshotting and your child seeing it. I’d feel a bit uneasy about him wanking in bed, he could have gone downstairs or in the bathroom for such an act as it makes me think what has he done with the resulting fluid. Hopefully not wiped on your bedding.

But if you’ve been unwell and not been up to it, he still has needs and maybe he didn’t want to feel rejected or feel like he was bothering you when you clearly are not up to it at the moment.

I wouldn’t make a huge deal out of it, I bet he was very embarrassed when you confronted him, I would of been haha!

@IAmFleshIAmBone

I’ll try again. I never compared porn to vibrators in substance of it, or morality, etc.

I was comparing

• Female insecurities from men watching porn... (ie those women on the screen are better than me, how do I compete)

to

• Male insecurities from women using vibrators - (ie - it’s bigger and harder than mine, must feel better, how do I compete)

These insecurities are exactly the same type as they stem from worrying if they are enough for their partners.

No, I GET it, I understand your comparison, it's just that it's invalid. Hope that helps.

@MrsNamechangeforthis2
There are too many people on here who will criticise people because of how something made them feel. You can't argue with a feeling, we all have different perspectives of what we will and won't put up with.
In MY opinion, it's disgusting he hasn't taken the time to consider that this will also go into your phone, most with an iPhone know that this happens if two people are signed into the same account.
Selfish and inconsiderate is what I consider it to be

@MrsNamechangeforthis2 I feel you I’m in the same situation now, I’m thinking of leaving but my boyfriend lies about it 🙄