DH watching porn

[MrsNamechangeforthis2]

Me and my DH share the same apple account on our phone's so we each get each other's photos.
Today I just had a look in my photos to show my 5 year old daughter something to find a porn, a photo man and a woman. I told him, he then scuttled off it's now deleted. I don't really know what to say to him. The screen shot was last night when I was asleep next to him. We haven't slept together for 2 weeks I've been recently diagnosed with an illness and I've been quite poorly and tired I've also got two small children to take care of. We've been together 18 years nothing like this before. We are mid 30s

Vibrators are not trafficked and abused for female pleasure. I hardly think you can compare porn use to people using sex toys.

Absolutely perfect.

No, not all men do this. If be livid op, especially next to you while you're asleep. But the difference is me and dh have talked about this and both agree. I find it hard to believe you haven't discussed it at all in 18 years

I don't agree with porn at all . I won't have it in my relationship . I find it in a way cheating . My partner knew from the very start how I felt about it . I found out he had been watching it and one chance I have given him the next time I find out I will throw the ten years we have spent together away . X

Good morning,

First I've not said anything about been second best.

Also no we've never discussed it we were really young when we go together.

I don't consider two week is me really been off sex.

But thanks everyone it's good to hear different opinions

Yes, because men are all degenerates who cannot control their urges... Best do your wifely duty lest he cheat on you. No-one is entitled to sex, and nobody needs porn. Don't believe the misogynistic lies.

so what is a man to do with his urges?

What is this bullshit?

Do what everyone else does and think/do something else. Get a hobby!

@moOmOoMooo

With respect that is ridiculous, a man cannot switch off his sexual urges for long just by turning his mind to something else. That might work for a few hours, or even a few days, but the need will eventually return in even greater intensity. And only sex or masturbation will solve the problem.

sort that shit out and make it so he doesn't have to watch it! It’s been two weeks @SheffieldMr..the op said she was ill. I’m a woman, my male dp has been ill and we haven’t had sex in a week or so, I have urges but I’m not telling my dp to sort his shit out, he’s poorly We’re sex dolls on beck and call to please each other, and not everyone’s options are wank or cheat.

We’re not sex dolls rather

The OP has been ill. Also, porn does not equal masturbation and it does not equal sex either. Both are entirely possible without it.

And anyone who would cheat on their partner because of a two week break from sex is an absolute scumbag.

a man cannot switch off his sexual urges

Just men?

So you are ill, have small children and he's wanking in bed to images of other women while you're asleep next to him? No, you aren't wrong to feel betrayed. Porn use is vile, it contributes to the trafficking and abuse of women and girls and should not be brushed aside as something trivial.

I don't See a problem with this...weirdly I used to get turned on by my ex having a wank next to me while I try and sleep....however he was wanking over me not other people.

If you don't like it tell him to keep it to himself

I can't understand why he thinks ok to watch porn and wank next to me while I'm asleep and that it ended up in my camera roll for the kids to see

The only issue I see is he needs to be more careful with ensuring the kids aren’t exposed to anything of a sexual nature. I don’t think he did anything else wrong!

@ IAmFleshIAmBone

OP’s issues with porn here aren’t about whether it’s ethically produced.
She, like many women seem to be, feels insecure and jealous.
So - given that - If the genders were turned - this situation is absolutely the same as men feeling inadequate when compared to the vibrator. And men trying to tell a woman to just control her urges and not to cheat with another penis.
If that seems fair - then by all means - throw stones. However, for all who think it’s OK for them to masturbate and use sex toys to replace their men and not chest while doing that - it’s very hypocritical to not acknowledge that men do something similar, just in a somewhere different way.

A vibrator is an object... a woman in porn is a human.

You can't compare them. And if it's purely an insecurity thing then it really shouldn't be, because women in porn are frequently beaten and abused. That's an actual person being wanked over.

Wow Mr Sheffield! Very worrying behaviour of men if they can't control themselves!! If men have urged and can't control them then God help us!!Are men so retarded that they can't have a wank without looking at women!!!

Of course you can compare insecurity a man feels from his partner pleasuring herself with a bigger and harder penis, to insecurity of a woman who worries about a better looking female on a screen exciting her partner.
It’s both based on a fear that your partner is getting pleasure from someone else and you are potentially not enough. And that they will leave.
It’s a basic fear and both men and women feel it.
This is at the core of majority of women’s reaction to porn. And putting it into a perspective - helps.
If you own a vibrator - you know that you are unlikely to prefer it to your man, or leave your man for it, irrespective of the toy size, etc.... It’s exactly the same for men and porn. It’s just hard for some women to understand or believe.

Some people object to porn based on its provenance. Fair enough. But it’s not the OP’s situation and projecting your views on her and LTB advice isn’t fair or helpful.

Mr Sheffield like I said I've been recently diagnosed with an illness and it's been really hard. But if my DH chooses to cheat on me over this then fuck him because I'd rather be on my own.

You having an illness is absolutely not an excuse or reason for him to cheat. But it is a reason for him to have a wank when he needs one and I think you should stop worrying about that. It will help him deal with the stress that he is under and IMO you should encourage him to do it while your sex drive is awol - allowing him to become frustrated will not help either of you.

But it is a reason for him to have a wank when he needs one and I think you should stop worrying about that.

She never said she was worried about it! Her post is about porn ie her husband doing it watching another woman and saving her pic on his phone whilst in their bed when she is there asleep.