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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm finally leaving but he doesn't know yet

69 replies

sillycat72 · 28/02/2020 21:05

Well I have taken my wedding rings off but he hasn't noticed.
It's been an awful 6 months, his teenage dds decided they wanted me out and have been so spiteful and rude. It's become toxic here and he has just been so awful. He doesn't know himself what I have done but I guess he feels as they are his dcs he should side with them. I get that but from my POV it's horrible as me and my teenagers have been pushed out. They won't go anywhere if I'm there, they won't even go on holiday if I'm there. How can I expect him to go on holiday without his kids!
I did leave and he begged me back said he needed me and saw the error of his ways and needed me etc. But it didn't last long, his younger dd14 said she wasn't coming back to the house and his older dd15 just didn't want to be here, which made him upset. Me and my dcs 16 and 13 don't understand were it's all come from. What have I done, I think maybe I tried too hard and they somehow think I was trying to replace their mum or something Hmm. But for me it's felt very isolating and I've never cried so much, I didn't want my marriage to end I still don't but they just hate me and dh won't stand up for me because he doesn't want to loose his children. So I've managed to find a house for me and my 2 I just feel I have to get out of here! I'm scared though but it's awful here. I hope we will be ok I'm very tearful tonight

OP posts:
Treacletoots · 15/03/2020 07:28

Well done and thank you for showing that you don't have to tolerate an abusive relationship. Star

Beerincomechampagnetastes · 15/03/2020 07:38

Congratulations Star
I hope you’re enjoying the freedom x

Lorddenning1 · 15/03/2020 08:11

Well done OP for putting your children and yourself first :) I can't even imagine what you have been going through and how hard it's been for you, I hope all 3 of you an be happy now.
We are a blended family my 2 DS, 3 and 8 and my other half has a nearly 3 year old little girl, at the minute our 3 year olds are inseparable and she likes me, always dancing and cuddling me and it's nice we get to watch the all grow up together, his ex is a nightmare too, quite controlling and jealous of the family dynamantic we have created, she is currently single and quite bitter towards me in particular, although they weren't and not had been together when we met. I am hoping and praying as DSD gets older her mother doesn't try and turn her against me, there would be nothing I can do if she does and it's heartbreaking to think she could easily do this :( me and my other half are fully expecting her to and we will tackle it together, I would like to think he would have my back on this, but we never know what the future holds,,, stay strong OP :)

MzHz · 15/03/2020 10:25

Massive congratulations! You warrior you!

Flowers
gisogiso · 15/03/2020 10:29

Well done for making the move ! Absolutely put yourself and your children first ! I have just got rid of mine and had similar issues with his family , if he's not putting the effort in to be fair to all of you then go it alone , glad you have your children for support and he hasn't poisoned them either , we can do this and we will be happy once we're used to being alone again!! Leave those bad memories in the past where they belong !! Xxx

PrednoLeucotropin · 15/03/2020 10:47

Well done you. I was wondering how you are getting on. you can breathe now : )

sillycat72 · 15/03/2020 22:27

Oh @gisogiso good luck to you too x

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 15/03/2020 22:48

Congratulations OP...... wonderful news Flowers

hellsbellsmelons · 16/03/2020 10:33

Excellent news OP.
I hope you enjoyed your first stress free weekend!?

sillycat72 · 16/03/2020 11:38

Hi, I feel so much better already. I don't miss him, well not yet anyway. I've had the usual teething problems when u move anywhere but actually the kids dad has helped me quite a lot so I'm grateful for that. I love having my own space Smile

OP posts:
NoMoreDickheads · 16/03/2020 12:44

Yes, having your own space is heaven. Enjoy xxxxx

Cocolapew · 16/03/2020 12:49

Congratulations, enjoy your new home Smile

copycopypaste · 16/03/2020 13:53

Congratulations op
Thanks

sillycat72 · 17/03/2020 04:58

You know it's just limitless things. Last night my daughter had a friend round I cooked dinner for the 4 of us everyone ate it and was happy. In the other house I'd cook dinner and his 2 would refuse to eat it because I made it Confused. How horrible! But last night there was none of that I didn't feel that disrespected and sad feeling. 😊

OP posts:
sillycat72 · 17/03/2020 04:58

That's meant to say 'little things'

OP posts:
dizzy174 · 17/03/2020 11:58

limitless little things - enjoy

sillycat72 · 20/03/2020 22:02

All I can say is thank god I got out of that house before we had to self isolate imagine been stuck in that house now. Glad I'm here with my babies 🙏🏻

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 28/03/2020 22:34

Well done OP.. I agree.. thank gawd you got out !!! Flowers

AlwaysCheddar · 29/03/2020 08:22

Glad you escaped!

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