Being single at the wrong time- Is the world single woman-friendly?

[LilMissRe]

Hi all

This post is a little ranty- so apologies in advance.

I think it is probably one of those days where my environment was constantly reminding me that I am single and that perhaps I "shouldn't" be. Just today I was looking to buy myself some perfume and a well meaning assistant approached me and told me that there is also a "His" version too. I knew she meant nothing but still, a monologue played out in my head- ha ha

Then, for lunch, went to a food store and found that the better food choices for ready made meals were meals "for 2", not individual- now yes, I can eat for 2 and the bottle of wine that comes with is always welcome, but honestly, my heart sank a little.

The world is not made for single women is it?

I started to look at holidays for the summer and true to fashion, if I wanted to stay a hotel, it works out cheaper travelling as a pair or couple as many places charge a supplement for single occupiers. Single only holidays are marked up too.

I am in my mid 30's, divorced and a proud mum to a teen. I naively thought dating or finding the right guy would be easy. Far from I'm sure you can agree. It feels like I'm at a completely different stage of my life than my friends- finding myself single at the wrong time (I married young, when my friends were single)

I have had many online duds as dates and whilst I'm not giving up I decided to just spend more time with my friends. None are really interested in going out for meals or drinks anymore as they are all coupled up and settled. They'll invite me over, (which I do accept) but that kind of defeats the object.

There is only so much third wheeling I can handle and honestly, on the weekend evenings when my son is with his dad, I don't know what to do with myself. I've taken myself out a few times. At home I clean, I prep, I exercise, I binge watch tv, but it gets boring after a while and sometimes I just want to dress up and go out- with someone. My nice clothes and heels are just gathering dust.

The meetups in my area are mostly daytime,female, older and craft related- which, although great, has not really opened any other stream of socializing.

I've tried Bumble Bff and believe it or not, the women on there are worse than the men- been cancelled on last minute a few times from women.

For any mums in a similar position, have you found anything that helped you process this situation and have you found any strategies or advice that helped?

Thanks for reading! x

I should be able to walk into a restaurant/cafe or bar/pub alone but I tried when I was much younger and the unwanted comments and male attention put me off.

Yeah I wish I'd put in head phones and if they had the brass neck to try to speak in spite of the headphones, shook my head at them while making a cut off

*cut off gesture

Try Frolo as someone mentioned above. I’ve made a number of single parent friends that way. I also just talked to everyone and anyone - mostly online - but made some good friends that way too!

I mean I see them in real life too, not just online

Why can't you go to pub, cafes, restaurent on your own? I don't really drink so pubs and wine bars arent my natural habitat. I did pop into a pub a few months ago waiting for my son. I had a book, ipad and a pint of cider, sat at a table. No problem.
I go to coffee shops and cafes on my own all the time, its fine. I have no problem sitting in a bar at a theatre or waiting for a gig. Sometimes I talk to people, if you don't want to speak to someone its not hard to put them off

I can go into a bar on my own, but when I was younger someone thought I was on the pull and made a pass at me. It just isn't the done thing.

Cafes and restaurant - I dislike eating in public because some idiot will ask "You enjoying that, luv?" or something, which however well meant, will upset me.

It is personal preference, but it's not just me who feels like that.

I will nip into a pub if I need the loo.

@Ted27
I do go to cafes and coffee shops all the time. Restaurants for lunch are not an issue, my issue is the evenings- theres only so many times I dress myself up and sit at a corner of a fancy restaurant by myself all in the name of "being comfortable with my own company". The prospect of doing this for another 30-40 years terrifies me. I don't think there's any shame in saying I'd rather share my meal with a special someone. Single is fine- but having companionship is better, in my opinion.

I'm trying to come up with suggestions of things to occupy myself with til Sunday. Sometimes I go to bed so early on Friday, wishing for it to be Sunday when I wake up.

My post is not one that intends to portray me as lacking confidence generally. Yes I still won't go to a club or bar in a dress and heels on my own but that is for safety reasons too.

I've got the confidence to do all the other stuff by myself- and have done. I'm just saying I'm over it and am finding it boring and frustrating being single.

maybe that's the difference then, I don't see having a partner is better than being single, for me it's just a different way of being.
I'm not prepared to make big compromises for the sake of companionship.

Oh I totally get where you're coming from.

I'm 34 and the single friend... nothing has ever stuck. I don't know whether it's people just being kind but they all say they don't know why I'm single, as if I'm being approached at every turn.

My life is fine and I'm not unhappy. I enjoy my own company, I keep myself busy, I have friends, but I would love a relationship. I want more than small talk with a stranger during the weekend.

I understand what you're saying too. I'm one year single and I have a good life. Great friends, good career, solvent, lovely kids, good health. But I get bored of doing things alone. I think there's a difference between feeling lonely and feeling alone. The latter is harder to ameliorate. I was supposed to have two online dates today but neither have been in touch... I'm not that arsed but it's just such a disposable approach to humankind, promoted by dating apps.

I too have until Monday on my own when my dc go in an hour. I'll take myself off to a book shop/cafe etc, if I can be bothered in this weather. And that's the crux of it for me - often I just don't see the point in doing things alone, so I don't.

Weekends are tough all right. It’s horrible how unreliable people can be on dating apps.