Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friends husband taking pictures of a woman he works with without her knowledge?

31 replies

dewluv · 27/02/2020 16:03

Friend has been married for 20 years, Things have been a bit rocky recently (He has been a bit secretive with his phone, out of nowhere) so she had a quick look.

She found a folder in his gallery and there were 100s of pictures of the same woman, she is either bent over, so the picture has been taken from behind, or just random normal pictures of her going about her day)

Friend showed me these pictures and I noticed right away that this woman did not seem aware these pictures were being taken, she was not posing for them, hard to explain, but its obvious this woman works with the husband, so say one of the pictures is her bending down to pick up a box from the ground, or her on the phone, but the picture is zoomed onto her chest etc) For context they work in a car dealership, which is how I knew they had been taken at work.

She went home and confronted her husband and he has admitted that yes this woman works with him, yes he took the pictures, no she was not aware he was doing it, when friend asked him why he had done this he replied that she never let him take sexy pictures of her so he got them elsewhere.

She is now asking me what she should do, as in, does she need to contact the police? the woman herself? her work? Never been in a situation like this before so have no idea on what she should do? Being honest its made me feel a bit sick that this lady was going into work every day, getting on with her job and has now had all these pictures taken without her knowledge and they are being sexualized by someone she works with.

My friend does not work at the same company and does not know this lady.

OP posts:
Queenoftheashes · 27/02/2020 16:04

Jesus Christ. I’d prob contact the workplace and let them deal with it.

Breastfeedingworries · 27/02/2020 16:06

100 percent she should be told. Also it sounds quite stalker ish and scary. He could be planning something awful. To have so many photos seems more unusual and worse than just a few wanking ones (disgusting as that also is!!)

Alarm bells would be ringing for me I’m afraid. I don’t think that woman is safe...

Aquamarine1029 · 27/02/2020 16:07

What an absolute pig of a man. I hope your friend reports him to his work, and I certainly hope she has the sense enough to leave him.

Mary1935 · 27/02/2020 16:10

I tell him you’d seen them and watch as he deletes them all.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 27/02/2020 16:11

He sounds like a pervert. That actually made me shiver.

I hope your friend is OK. I also hope she:

  1. Leaves him.
  2. Reports him to his work.
  3. Informs the lady.
HollowTalk · 27/02/2020 16:12

It's the police that you need, not the workplace. Ask them what you should do. I would think the workplace will fire him (which he deserves) but try to hush it up as far as the woman's concerned.

dewluv · 27/02/2020 16:12

Thanks everyone, I didn't want to tell her to go to the police if its not a police matter, She is supposed to be calling me later so I will pass on any replies.

OP posts:
Pandamoore · 27/02/2020 16:14

Hundreds? Yeah that is stalker level creepy. Something more going on there. Friend should definitely leave him. It would be good if she told his work to so that they could deal with it. That woman might be at risk as he us clearly obsessed and has no respect for boundaries.

HopeYouStepOnALego · 27/02/2020 16:20

He'll probably delete them before you can report it anywhere. Now he knows your friend is on to him he'll cover his tracks and get rid of the evidence. Did your friend take any screenshots or anything as evidence?

NoMoreDickheads · 27/02/2020 16:39

Ewwwwwww! If I were your friend, I'd leave him, that's gross. And yes, also inform his work.

Shoxfordian · 27/02/2020 16:43

Tell her exactly what happened
Can you forward any of the photos to her?
Divorce him, he is disgusting

PicsInRed · 27/02/2020 16:48

Mate, he's stalking her.

I would actually visit the workplace and give her a very concerned heads up - or report to the police and have them do it if that seems safer.

Women have been abducted at the end of less "specific" attention.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 27/02/2020 16:50

100% sleazeball.

I love the way it's the wife's fault, not his.

LTB, & report it to the woman/company/police.

SpiltMilk100 · 27/02/2020 16:52

The Police won't be able to do anything unless the woman in the pictures reports it herself, so I wouldn't suggest that to your friend. Either his workplace or the woman herself is the best place to start and if she wants to take it further then she can do.

What a creep though 🤢

AttilaTheMeerkat · 27/02/2020 16:58

What Hollowtalk wrote earlier, the Police will investigate.

Such behaviour is a criminal act; the man who took those is a voyeur and these were taken without the woman's knowledge or consent.

HollowTalk · 27/02/2020 17:58

Though I imagine the guy will say, just as many have said here, that she was asking for it.

FizzyGreenWater · 27/02/2020 18:07

That's horrific!

She should really think about whether she wants to be with him.

I would get screenshots, and I would inform his place of work but I think I'd make a big effort to try and let this woman know directly. She has the RIGHT to know - and it's not unlikely that the workplace may try and gloss over it.

BacklashStarts · 27/02/2020 21:24

Your poor friend! That poor woman!

MsPepperPotts · 27/02/2020 21:31

Yep he's stalking her and dumb enough to keep the evidence...what a creep.

CassidyStone · 28/02/2020 10:46

I would let the woman in the photos know. If some creep where I work was taking surreptitious photos of me, I'd want to know, so I could take appropriate action.

HollowTalk · 28/02/2020 11:14

Sorry, I said this: Though I imagine the guy will say, just as many have said here, that she was asking for it. but I was thinking of that other thread, where the neighbour was photographing the woman across the road as she got dressed. Nobody on this thread was saying this woman was asking for it.

vegvegveg · 28/02/2020 11:18

Upskirting is illegal now so the police may be interested. I would call the police for advice and also the place of work.
He's disgusting.

Menora · 28/02/2020 11:46

Someone took a photo of my boobs once bending over in McDonalds and it was horrible - this woman should know what has happened, it is so awful. I think report for sure work place and police

Devlesko · 28/02/2020 12:09

Police definitely, they will sort it out, needless to say I'd have his bags packed as that is very scary behaviour, and obsessive.

Nowayorhighway · 28/02/2020 12:33

I’d be contacting his place of work to inform them then sending him divorce papers. What a lecherous creep.

Swipe left for the next trending thread