Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

If you met someone in your 50s - how did you meet them?

44 replies

Cheermeupplease22 · 26/02/2020 22:25

Or if it happened to someone you know.

Or roundabout that age.

Have been in one relationship that ended in a horrible divorce after years of emotional abuse. I am 51 now and sometimes get panicky thinking that that’s it for me - the one ultimately unsuccessful relationship Sad.

OP posts:
Opentooffers · 26/02/2020 22:29

Late 40's but dated men in 50's, and beyond😚. Always a chance, don't give up. A healthy lifestyle and fitness level probably helps - on both sides.

Original poster
Cheermeupplease22 · 26/02/2020 22:31

How did you meet them @Opentooffers?

OP posts:
MrsCat1 · 26/02/2020 22:32

Met DH in my late 40s after many years alone, following acrimonious split from previous partner. 8 years on we are happily married. We met on a dating website. He was the third person I met and I was the twelfth person he met. There are happy endings! Hang on in there. SmileSmile

ScribblingMilly · 26/02/2020 22:44

I know someone in their 50s who met their DH at an informal orchestra - a come along and learn an instrument type of thing. Someone else through taking up a sport. I guess they both attracted people looking for a fresh start. Good luck, OP. If I were single, I think I'd stand the best chance walking my dog as everyone's always up for a chat.

Joy69 · 26/02/2020 22:44

I met my partner on a dating site. I was on for a month & was about to come off it when we started chatting. I'm 51, had a couple of dates previously, nothing wrong with them as such, just not for me. Don't take it too seriously & enjoy it. Good luck Smile

mindutopia · 26/02/2020 22:53

My mum met my stepdad on online dating, like some hokey local singles website (not even match or something mainstream). She was probably mid 50s. Just turned 70. Blissfully happy.

Nutkin123 · 26/02/2020 22:54

My dad met his girlfriend on the guardian dating website - she's amazing!

noego · 26/02/2020 23:35

OLD, Aldi, café, train

Purplewithred · 26/02/2020 23:36

Volunteering - he trained me

Original poster
Cheermeupplease22 · 27/02/2020 07:00

Thank you - am making a list of the activities I need to take up Smile! I would welcome more messages 😊😊.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheermeupplease22 · 27/02/2020 07:02

Tried online dating and dated someone platonically for 6 weeks, who then said he just wanted to be friends. Can’t do OLD at the moment as everyone on there just isn’t him Sad.

OP posts:
userabcname · 27/02/2020 07:03

My mum just re-married in her 50s. They met online.

Opentooffers · 27/02/2020 07:44

Social group 'spice' was a good way to meet people over 50 - though I was early 40's at the time, so felt on the young side. OLD aimed at older daters had some success.

Opentooffers · 27/02/2020 07:47

You need a thick skin for OLD. There are however, lots of social meetup groups you could try where the aim is to enjoy the activity, so the pressure of being on a date is off.

Knewyou · 27/02/2020 07:51

I met someone online at the age of 49. Also had lots of dates and interest.

Tried again mid-50s and it was much harder ie not as much interest and the calibre of men left a lot to be desired.

Friends of friends has never come off. I did meet someone at the checkout at Tesco once!

Original poster
Cheermeupplease22 · 27/02/2020 08:48

Yeah the pressure OLD brings to things is too artificial IMO. I really wish I had met my 6 week guy at work or something, could have become friends and then seen.

Maybe I need to wrap my head around the fact that this is actually it for me in terms of relationships...

Part of my problem is that I am not sure I am equipped to deal with more heartbreak after my divorce, but I can’t expect the first person I meet now to necessarily want a long term thing or for it to work out...

Social meet up groups sound good...

OP posts:
SuspicionAintTheWay · 27/02/2020 13:10

Met someone at work in my mid 40s but split up acrimoniously fairly recently.
Not sure if I can subject myself to heartbreak again but it might help me move on.
Should try joining clubs or groups. Tried OLD but they are so impatient, you don't reply immediately and they get in a strop.

GilbertMarkham · 27/02/2020 14:04

Maybe I need to wrap my head around the fact that this is actually it for me in terms of relationships...

My 96 yr old grandmother was widowed in her late 80s and met a "gentleman friend" until recently when he got infirm and sadly passed away.

Stop thinking like that.

Sally99 · 27/02/2020 14:10

@cheermeupplease22 I'm 57 and have just finished a 2 year relationship. I'm also feeling like I'll never meet anyone else.

I love hearing about 96 year olds meeting men - it gives me hope!

GilbertMarkham · 27/02/2020 14:11

Also it's important to go in with the view that it might work out/become a relationship or it might not, bit you can enjoy it for as long as it takes for both of you to decide that. It doesn't have to be a big love of your life, successful relationship thing - that's putting an awful lot of pressure on.

It seems like you feel you have to have a successful relationship to make up for the (ultimately) failed one; but it wasn't your failure by the sounds of it, so stop putting that on your shoulders.

Try evening classes, volunteering, walking/hiking, sports etc. Don't do something that attracts 95% women obviously.
(Unless the women there could introduce to a single make relative. That is how a lady I know met a dp in her 50s - went to ceili dancing classes and his niece approached her when she realised she was single, suggested a sort of blind date which she accepted.

Other person i know (aunt) met him at a band/dance thing in a rural hotel that tends to attract middle aged folks).

GilbertMarkham · 27/02/2020 14:13

I love hearing about 96 year olds meeting men - it gives me hope!

Well she probably met him at about 90 to be accurate Wink.

ravenmum · 27/02/2020 14:29

My gm married for the 3rd time at 80.
She used to go out and do lots of social stuff. I think she met him through a churchy thing changed her religion with every husband

vhs95 · 27/02/2020 14:33

I befriended another woman also divorced and we used to go to dances 3 times a week - think they were aimed at divorced/widowed rather than single on the pull. Soon there was a group of us (both sexes) who'd travel around just to have a good evening. I met moh at Cheshunt Football Club and the rest is history. It helped to mix with a crowd and get to know someone first and we had a lorra laughs along the way.

AuntieMarys · 27/02/2020 14:41

We have mutual interests and met through an online group ( not OLD). We weren't even looking!

LilyJade · 27/02/2020 15:06

Im 43, single & ive been asked out by a few men in their 50s.
I haven't dated them as I tend to prefer men my age or younger but if I met a guy of that age group who I really liked I would date him.

So how I met them was through:

A local singles group that is organised through Facebook (you put your photos & a short bio on the group then people can request to message you);
Facebook photography groups;
Facebook fossil finding group (niche but does attract fit & intelligent men);
The gym (just started chatting).
At work (a large hospital).

Although I turned these men down I've remained friendly with some on Facebook & some have now got girlfriends around their age who they have good relationships with.

The other interests the 50something men have include watching live bands & djs, sports of all kinds, & holidays for example.
So you could look at meeting a man doing those activities.