Does cold sore mean he's cheating

[Biotite]

I've been married for 10 years. In the last year my husband has had 2 cold sores. Both times he's claimed it is a spot he's tried to pop. I don't remember having seen him with a cold sore before this year.

Can herpes lie dormant for this long or for there to suddenly be outbreaks does it mean he has recently contracted it?

He doesn't seem to care about me anymore and we are heading towards separation for a number of reasons but I'm now feeling repulsed if this means he's cheated, but I'm not sure if that's a reasonable assumption.

The virus can lay dormant for years. Many people contract it when they are children from relatives kissing them. Things like stress and exposure to sunlight can cause them to appear.

Yes, herpes can lie dormant for decades. No, it doesn’t mean he’s cheating. Herpes can be triggered by a variety of things. Low immune system and sunlight to name two common ones. It could have been dormant since he was a baby.

My mum got cold sores from no where when I was younger and now she suffers with the from time to time. Like you said the virus lies dormant and once you have it you can get it on and off whenever.

If you have it, you always have it and it just pops up every now and then randomly. But you can go quite a long time without one. I've gone a couple of years without even a tingle. When I feel a tingle I put zovirax straight on so it sometimes doesn't even appear - in which case you can't be sure there actually was going to be one. So I think I've gone maybe 5 years without seeing one at all. 10 years would be very lucky/unusual. It does sound more like he didn't have it before and he's recently caught it. Especially with the lying. But you can catch them from cutlery/glasses/towels etc if you're not careful - or kissing your mum, I don't think it has to be lip to lip contact, just lip to face or lip to surface - surface to face indirect contact. However, if he's horrible anyway, just leave and don't go near him, not your problem anymore. Try to get him to accept he has coldsores and needs to be careful though, for the sake of the kids. It's not fair for him to infect them with it because he's in denial about having them.

I have it, but haven't had a coldsore for 10 years. Before that I'd get them occasionally maybe 1-3 a year.

Thanks. Yes, I'm worried about him passing it on to the kids if he's in denial. I know they might get it anyway, but I'd rather avoid it if possible.

I laughed at your post flackmaster! Yes, you are right, it doesn't need to be my problem and I'm coming very close to not giving a shit. Just feel I'm being played for a mug, which I probably am.

I've got one at the moment due to stress and I am definitely not cheating.

Thanks too for those saying it can lie dormant for ages. I haven't much experience so wasn't sure how long ages could reasonably be.

No.

Cold sores come from the chicken pox virus. They lie dormant in the nerve endings and come out when the immune system is suppressed from stress.

They always come out in exactly the same place.

Shingles is the same thing but worse.

An estimated 80 - 90 % of people have Herpes Simplex 1. He could have gotten it from anywhere, anytime.

Got my first one as a child. I’ve probably had 3 or 4 in the last decade or so. I can go years in between outbreaks. It definitely does not mean he’s cheating but the fact you think he might be makes me wonder if there’s more going on.

Cold sores come from the chicken pox virus.

No they don’t. Chicken pox is varicella, cold sores come from the herpes virus.

If that were the case, my husband has cheated numerous times during our relationship.

He hasn't BTW. He just suffers from cold sores.

No they don’t. Chicken pox is varicella, cold sores come from the herpes virus.

Chickenpox — technically known as the varicella zoster virus — is a type of herpes virus that, just like its close relative herpes simplex, becomes a lifelong resident in the body

From childhood, I have always suffered from terrible cold sores; they used to spread all over my mouth & nothing much helped them. After a ten year gap of being cold sore free, they have just started again. I am currently stressed to the limit & have been ill for the last 6 months solid. Being run-down, stressed and ill seems to be a trigger for these.
I'm especially sad because I really hoped I'd got rid of the damn things...

No.
I had terrible coldsores as a small child.
Then in my 20s.
Nothing in 30s and 40s
50th birthday. Wham! Cold sore bastard.

They can be dormant for a long time so no issues there.

BUT.
If he's in denial and insisting they are just spots then he's not going to be taking protective measures to try prevent spread.

He shouldn't be kissing children.
No shared flannels etc.
Alcohol gel/bacterial wash on hands frequently.
No shared cups/mugs/bottles/forks etc.
No kissing each other.
Is he going for a pee and holding his penis after 'picking his spot'? It will spread.

Urgh Bobby! Hadn't even thought of the weeing thing! Gross. I'll maybe get him some Zovirax (sp.?) but he probably won't use it if he thinks it isn't a cold sore.

I've been trying to keep the kids away from getting kisses. Is it a problem if there isn't a cold sore? Can it still spread?

My dh gets cold sores and has done since he was a child. I have never had one and neither have our 2 kids. However I am very likely to be a carrier without any symptoms as we've been together for 20 odd years now

I once heard a radio programme about herpes simplex that said that on the whole people who have facial cold sores don’t have genital herpes and vice versa.

I have had facial cold sores for about 40 years. My husband hasn’t had any.

Sorry to crash the thread, and sorry to hear you're in a rubbish marriage. I hope you find happiness soon.
Regarding the Chicken Pox point, can you get cold sores in you've never had chicken pox?
My DH and his mum are both insistent that he hasn't had chicken pox but he gets cold sores, and he didn't catch chicken pox when either of the DC had it.
Would just be interested to know if he could have had a mild case of chicken pox as a child that somehow went unnoticed.

Has he given you any other reason to think he might be cheating?

I got the mother of all cold sores a couple of weeks ago.Huge it was and very sore.Took about 2 weeks for t to go completely.

I get coldsores when I'm stressed.... If he's being distant emotionally with you could it be because of normal life stress??