Daughters Masters graduation

[SmokedGlass]

My daughter (27) has her Masters graduation in July and whilst chatting with her tonight about it, she has told me she will be inviting my ex husband and his ‘new’ family of three years to attend
My ex husband, who I was with for 31 yrs met his partner soon after we split and she has 3 adult children
I was prepared for it to be just us and our other son and daughter attending but on hearing this news I’m a bit apprehensive

We attended her first university graduation together a year after we had split, when he was still single. Whilst I have never met his new partner I did think that she would not go out of respect and would celebrate after the event, but now this is happening I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable with another family there
Or am I being really unreasonable or petty?

I know a lot of you will say selfish and it’s my daughters day, but I haven’t seen him for three years and though I don’t want to upset my daughter I’m not sure I want to go

Thanks everyone
I will be going but will sit somewhere else. Not a problem to me though I do feel outnumbered as @Techway mentioned above but that’s my problem and I’ll keep that to myself

I’m also going to plan a couple of days to myself after at a spa as the Uni is way up North and I live in the South so combining the graduation with a couple of days tagged on with my dog will be great

This is something between me and my head, I would never dream of upsetting her day
These celebrations will occur over the years and this is just the first time with his new family for me, when she graduated last time there wasn’t this scenario

Surely you will sit with your older DCs? If all 9 of you have tickets for the ceremony and they are numbered you are likely to be sat together.

I would be surprised that there are 9 tickets - I would imagine the invite is for dinner or a reception event after. Will you be part of that?

Is the issue with your DH? Maybe meet a few weeks before for a coffee to break the ice - so that there is less stress on the day?

No @Gutterton, no issue with him, I haven’t seen him in three years
The invite is from her, saying she’s asking them all to attend the ceremony - I’ve already asked if she’s sure she will get that many tickets I’m not stressing over it, it’s months away
Her brother and sister are not sure they can attend, they’ll let her know nearer the date
It’s more nervousness on my part

I had 2 tickets for my masters graduation, that's all that anybody is given - if more are needed then it depends on how many other graduates want extra too.

That would be 5 for her 'new family' - plus you and your other children - another 4...

I'd be really surprised if that were possible. Not that it's the point of the thread but ticket allocation is material.

I have this. Me and my ex are both remarried.
With this next graduation this year my daughter is going to go to brunch with her father and dinner with me and my husband.
You just have to get on with it really and not make it awkward.

I agree lying we only have 2 but have applied for more.

My mum came to mine - my dad wasn't even invited. Different scenario really as we were estranged but he wasn't invited to my wedding either and we were still in contact then.

My mum did the 'hard yards' - she got the invitations.

I also think that the new Mrs should take a back seat. That's what I would have done - a step-daughter I'd known for 3 years would get hearty congratulations, dinner afterwards if she wanted but no way would I have encroached on a day that her mum should be attending in comfort. Not a chance.

Thanks @LyingWitchinTheWardrobe that is exactly what I would do if It was the reverse situation, my friends think that too

The more I’ve read the replies to this it’s given me courage to just accept what it is, go with grace and not actually give a toss and just give my daughter the best day possible

@Mrskeats your suggestion of separate brunch and dinner is a good one, hopefully I can opt for lunch then after ceremony and kisses for her I can just slip away to my intended spa hotel (halo)

Your daughter has clearly worked very hard and this is her day, she has a right to celebrate with her entire family which does now include your ex's new partner. Yes it will perhaps not be the most fun day you've ever had and it may be awkward, but it's not about you or them, it's about your daughter. So my advice is to pop on a smile and carry on.
Best of luck! Hopefully you can look past the uncomfortableness and just focus on what a proud day it is for your daughter.

Side point I know but are you sure everyone is actually going? Does your daughter have tickets for everyone? That's about six people you've listed. I have never known of that many people/guests be allowed per graduating student. For both degrees i was only ever allowed 2 and then 3 tickets. Same for DP.

Not really the point but your daughter sounds very mature by inviting everyone, that’s lovely of her

@Alsoco she is a lovely young woman, caring and sensitive, which is why I can’t let her down on her day regardless of my apprehension

She’s known them for 3 years - so from before she started the masters I assume. This isn’t a set of strangers and this woman isn’t an ow. I think that people are being too dismissive.

Weird as they only get two tickets so she might have to choose anyway

She's known her mum for her whole life. Mum takes priority.

I’m sure that if she only had 2 tickets priority would be for mum and dad.

But she’s hoping for more tickets and odds are she’ll get them.