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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Ex gave me STI but didn't have it

42 replies

Username109876 · 23/02/2020 08:01

He was the only person I had slept with at that time, I had only ever kissed other men.
One day whilst recieving my new contraceptive pills, I was offered an STI test.
I was fairly sure I didn't have anything but took the test, and was later told I had chlyamidia.
He was required to be tested too as a result , and he told me his came back negative.
It's over now so doesn't matter, but I do wonder what could have happened. I had had no sexual contact with anyone else, I must have got it from him. He had slept with people before me.
It just makes me wonder if he lied to me/cheated.

OP posts:

slipperywhensparticus · 23/02/2020 08:04

He told you it came back negative? So you didnt see paperwork?

Original poster

Username109876 · 23/02/2020 08:04

No i never saw paperwork or any written proof..

OP posts:

dwum · 23/02/2020 08:05

You know that he isn't being truthful.

Move on, he is your ex for a reason.
This isn't worth the headspace, let him crack on.

DDIJ · 23/02/2020 08:07

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

LilouBlue · 23/02/2020 08:07

Of course he lied. You couldn't have caught it from anywhere else, and all you have is him telling you his was negative. It doesn't necessarily mean he cheated, he could have had it from someone he was with before you, and passed it on to you without having been with anyone else while you were together, but he definitely lied.

Thankfully chlamydia is very easy to treat!

Original poster

Username109876 · 23/02/2020 08:07

You're right.. I just want to know if he cheated on me or not. He was also so against cheating when we were together, always saying how if someone cheated on him he would never see them again etc.. I really never thought he could.

OP posts:

Original poster

Username109876 · 23/02/2020 08:08

Yeah, maybe he did. But still he lied to me, because there is no way his result could have been negative yet I had it.

OP posts:

geojellyfish · 23/02/2020 08:15

I don't know what antibiotics are used to treat Chlamydia, but I suppose it could be possible that his test was negative if he'd recently had a course of antibiotics for another infection. However, it is more probably that he lied, which might just mean he was embarrassed about transmitting it to you rather than him having been unfaithful.

bagofoldbones · 23/02/2020 08:16

So he was the person you ever only slept with?

If so then he is lying.

VivaLeBeaver · 23/02/2020 08:17

I think it can be in your system for years with no symptoms so could you have caught it from someone you slept with before that relationship? And not actually passed it to your ex, not sure how infectious it is but think I read it’s harder for men to catch?

But yes, him lying seems a more probable explanation.

Original poster

Username109876 · 23/02/2020 08:19

I never slept with anyone before him, I can't remember him being on antibiotics but possibly.
Still think it's a really shitty thing to lie about, rather than just owning up.

OP posts:

villamariavintrapp · 23/02/2020 08:29

If you slept with him again afterwards you should get tested again

ticking · 23/02/2020 08:40

But you know he's lying....

Lets just say he didn't cheat, he had sex with you, you had chlamydia, so therefore he caught it and would have tested positive.

If he did cheat, he had it and gave it to you, therefore he had it and would have tested positive.

There is actually no circumstance when he wouldn't have tested positive, unless he had already had it treated (so had it and had tested positive and taken anti-b's)

Sooooo. He's your ex for a reason, he's cheated and given you an STI, AND he lies!

Sagradafamiliar · 23/02/2020 08:46

You're either a medical marvel or he was lying. I know which is more probable. It's easy to pop a few antibiotics in the doctor's office then come out and deny anything was ever 'wrong' (for liars).
No idea from any of this, as to whether he cheated as people can walk around with STIs for years and be none the wiser. He could've picked it up from anyone along the line.
Put him out of your mind.

TheReef · 23/02/2020 08:47

A bf did this to me, I'd not slept with anyone else and had been tested at the start of the relationship so I knew it definitely came from him (I know symptoms can stay dormant), I told him, he said he'd got tested and it came back negative. I dumped him. Lying sod.

Original poster

Username109876 · 23/02/2020 08:47

That makes a lot of sense. Just disappointing how people can lie like that, so I guess I had a lucky escape !

OP posts:

Soontobe60 · 23/02/2020 08:50

@TheReef
Why would you have a test for an STI at the start of a relationship if you had never had sex?

Sagradafamiliar · 23/02/2020 09:30

She meant she didn't sleep with anyone other than the bf who gave her the STI whilst she was with him think, Soon. That's how I read it.

TheReef · 23/02/2020 09:31

@soontobe60 I meant I'd not had sex with the bf, not, not ever had sex

TheReef · 23/02/2020 09:33

And I'd been faithful to said bf so it could only have come from him...

bagofoldbones · 23/02/2020 10:41

He definitely gave you the STI. What a cunt.

Original poster

Username109876 · 23/02/2020 10:43

A lot of people lie I guess :(

OP posts:

Lllot5 · 23/02/2020 10:45

He’s lying. If you slept with him after him lying to you you need to be re tested too.

Fonduefrolics · 23/02/2020 10:47

I had about 4 tests some back inconclusive for an STI. My husband told me he’d had a test and his tests were inconclusive...

Months later he candidly told me he’d never been for a test. So not only did he waste my time and give me a great deal of stress and worry he also wasted the professionals time as they were scratching their heads at his result.

So yes. People lie. Your ex is probably lying.

SouthWestmom · 23/02/2020 10:48

Do you mean you were a virgin before him or that you'd not slept with anyone for a while?

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