Found out OH has been cheating

[Shitscreek11]

I don't even know where to start, apologies this is a long read. I've never posted on anything before but I'm so confused and hurt and don't know how to play this out. I'm 32 weeks pregnant with DC2, unplanned and suffered with antenatal depression. I've been with my OH 11 yrs and known him 20yrs. I'm the earner and hes a SAHD due to ongoing health issues.

For a while now I've had this niggling feeling that something wasn't right with OH. Today I looked at his phone, it's never usually out of his hands and I never knew his pw. I found some pics of him in lingerie (mine) and they were quite hard core. I looked a bit more at his browsing and clicked a site I never heard of, turns out to be a gay hook up site. I saw msgs to ALOT of different guys and I can see that he's been out with them for a quickie and oral! " I can't wait to taste your..... again" . It seems this happens when he goes on nightly runs to the shop while I put our son to bed.. I'm sick to my stomach thinking that he could have caught something and passed it..

I knew before he liked womens underware but he talked himself out and just said he likes the feeling..

I'm heartbroken to know our little family will be no more, we never fight not any big issues.. if he came out to me I would be hurt but support him but he's cheated so many times and under my nose like he has no guilt..

What do i do now? Play the long game and protect myself financially? Do a years mat leave and when I get back earning pack his bags?

Do I throw him out now and do the c section, mat leave without him?

Do I give it two years and really set myself up? I'm sure I'm missing bits but i just can't think straight... how can I break my little boys heart..

Sorry for the long post!

Good grief - how awful for you. I'm so sorry.

Obviously you need to tell him to leave. I think your idea about getting legal advice on Monday is good - find out where you stand in relation to ongoing custody. I hope that you can show him the door sooner rather than later.

Hi op . I can't believe what I have read I'm so sorry . I can't imagine what you are going through . I found out when I was pregnant that my ex was cheating on me
But this is a hell of a lot worse . I would 100 percent be getting an std check . A full screening hiv test too . Hopefully he has used something but I doubt it . Also these people hook up with anything and everyone so I would be sorting it out as soon as i woke up tomorrow. I wouldn't let him stay a second longer in my house . He would be long gone . Even if he ain't gay but bisexual it doesn't change anything . He has still cheated and put you your son and unborn baby at risk . Please get rid of him op. You can and will do so much better than this . Xxx

That's the most shocking thing I've read on here in a while OP, holy shit!

Get away from him as soon as you can.

What fedup212 said! In trumps. So sad for you

Fedup212 and everyone is right. He needs to go... I've been somewhat calm this afternoon and trying to get my head clear. I'll ring the maternity hosp tomorrow and book a full screening. I checked his profile and his interests show 1 on 1, anal (Says he prefers bottom) oral and group sex! Physically feel sick.. I need to try sort childcare out as I work full time and he doesn't have a car of his own. Hes labelled himself as a tv/ts and cd.. i had to google for that!

Probably one of the worst things I’ve read on here. I’m so so sorry..... he’s an absolute waste of space. Get rid OP x

I know it's hard op 😢. I'd be secretly hoping that it's just a faze and it will go back to normal . But weather he's gay or bisexual you won't be able to satisfy his urges. You two could be together but you know you would have to let him satisfy his needs else where on times and me personally I could never live like that . You do know that's it's nothing to do with you right ? He's gay. He didn't ask to like men so obviously does love you but not in the way he should and he never will be able too unfortunately. I'm very open minded . If he was single then it wouldn't bother me one bit but it's the fact that he could well of given you a disease you not knowing then given birth and there being complications with the baby . Hes a complete dick. Have a good sleep and see how you feel on the morning . But I would be telling him you know everything and want him gone . Also when you claim single you will have childcare payed for you so everything will be ok ❤️ stay strong. Everything will work out in the end it always does . I found out when my ex was cheating on me he had given me a disease when I was pregnant . Went for my antenatal Appointment all happy and was told I had a disease . Baring in mind I had only ever slept with my partner and had been with him 8 years at this point and had had a sti check a few months after being with him because I wanted to know he didn't have anything . He blamed me for ages saying I give it to him 😂 which he later came to realise how stupid he sounded and started crying and apologised . I forgive him
And suprise suprise he done it again and again . He will be the one with nothing after all this not you . Xxx

Please get legal advice asap op.
And an STD check.
For your own sanity I would get him out asap.
Please back up your evidence somewhere where he cant access it so once he knows you know he cant delete it.
I would imagine once you kick him out he'll have to work so wouldn't worry about custody.
So sorry you're going through this, please take care.

1st things 1st have a chat 2 midwife and get HIV checks etc 2ndly I'd mention it to him and say I want u involved with kids but it just isnt gonna work x

Just to say, I'm sorry this has happened to you. I can only imagine how you're feeling.

As others have said, STI check and speaking to someone you can confide in should be your first port of call.

weather he's gay or bisexual you won't be able to satisfy his urges

@fedup212 Hey, plenty of people are bi and still monogamous. It doesn't mean someone can't be in a commited relatonship.

Just this guy isn't acting right.

Hope youre ok today op x