Men & Cleaning

[Horsesforcourses23]

Its a bit of a lighthearted thread this one, but seriously.... Men and cleaning.

Does anyone have a man who acknowledges and cleans first without a continual reminder of what to do.

Honestly it's the bane of my life. Thursday is bin day, without fail every week, and every Thursday I have to take the bin out or remind him to take the bin out and then when I come home from work I have to bring the bin back in even if he's back first. He will have walked past it to get in and just left it there.

It sounds really petty and it's more just a general moan but are all men just crap at cleaning?

My boyfriend lived on his own for 8 years before we lived together. He had a spacious new build 2 bed house when we met that he kept very clean and tidy.
Therefore he had to do bins, sort bills, wash the dishes, cook tea, do his laundry and iron. There was no choice.

I lived on my own for 9 years when we met so also had to do those things. Since we've moved in together we just carried on as we had done for almost 10 years.
He irons his shirts for work every morning (like he did living on his own), so will do mine too as hes up early.
He automatically washes up dishes after eating and any plates left on the side like he did when he lived alone.

Every saturday morning he hoovers the house top to bottom including the stairs before he goes to the gym as that's what hes always done (unless i want a lie-in and tell him to leave it for when he gets back or ill do it later).

Infact tonight he was nagging me to change out of my gym gear as they're black and he wanted to put on a dark wash.

We've honestly had 0 issues in regards to housework. I honestly think living on your own forces you to see it as your job and responsibility as no one else does it for you. He didn't suddenly become incapable and a slob when we moved in. We both just carried on as we were.

Has your husband never lived on his own?

No. It's not an all men thing. DH isn't the best cleaner but shows willing. My dad is pretty fastidious. The truck driver we used to live next door to spent a good bit of his time off cleaning and ironing. The guy next door brought our bin in for us, this morning.

There's plenty of lazy shits, though. I left my lazy shit.

Crumbs....men don't see crumbs! My husband is great at many things but when it comes to cleaning the kitchen he always leaves crumbs and it's bloody annoying. My male work colleagues agree that they also don't see crumbs either 😂

Hit and miss sometimes.

He’s good at putting the bins out on bin day and will wash up but he washing up is not always great (food on forks or on back of plates) he reckons he cleans the bathroom when he gets a shower but I’ve never noticed until he said he does and I have once seen him run the sponge round the sink - not sure if this was for show or what. He will cook as he says he likes cooking but makes a right mess so much so I insist on cooking as I tidy up/wash up as I go along.

I do pretty much everything else. We both hate putting washing away and it’s a stale mate until one of us caves which is usually me

My dad does his fair share and he's 74. Mam doesn't need to nag him or anything, he just does it. So I don't think its a generational thing. I think some guys are just lazy, entitled assholes.

Men are capable of doing this and the ones that are rubbish at doing it, I'd suggest are just bloody lazy.

I work most of the time from home and I'm a total neat freak (always have been), I'll hoover downstairs every day and when it's not half term (grrrr!!!), upstairs every other day. I'm up in the morning hours before anyone else, so every other day it's a full dust. It's just the way I am and I love tidy. It's a running joke that "Mr untidy is Mrs PCs best mate ", but she really isn't untidy.

When I take a break from work for a drink, I'll put a wash on, all of 5 minutes to do and leave the machine to it.

Having said all this, there are a million and one less visible things that Mrs PC does that are just as, if not more important. It works really well for us, we are a team and most of the time we have very relaxing weekends, where just the two of us can do what we want together, as the boys who are 18 and 13 don't want to go out with us (result!! ). Just don't get me started on their bedrooms!!!

I’m quite messy and crap at cleaning and I’m a woman. My ex on the other hand (A man) was better.

I love that Method wood cleaner smell . Would happily mop my floors everyday just for the smell hit. (Don't have time though)
Have had female cleaners and one male cleaner. Shouldn'tbe a difference should there ... but there was. I don't know if it was gender related or just a lack of work ethic but asked for the previous lady to be reinstated ( agency cleaners )

Haha. I had some method wood cleaner. Until yesterday, when I found it had been knocked over and had emptied itself all over pretty much everything in the cupboard. The kitchen floor was lovely and slippery after I emptied the cupboard out, looking for the source of the goop.

The cupboard is much cleaner and tidier, now, and the packets and bottles in there remarkably shiny.

Single man here,do it all myself.I like my home looking nice (and clean)

My DH is excellent at cleaning. He tidies up after himself, cleans up after cooking & notices the dirt in the house far more than me. He empties bins, does laundry etc etc without ever being asked and he hoovers every day that he works from home.

He was well trained by his mother from a very young age before leaving home...and that is exactly what I am instilling in my 3 sons. They have been taking turns to set & clear the table, empty the dishwasher, hoover, do recycling, unpack shopping etc since they were about 3.

It’s not petty at all. You shouldn’t downplay the seriousness of unequal partnerships. The burden of the mental load is very real. You need to have words with your partner.

Filthiest house I know is a female friend who lived with her parents until she was 29 and has lived on her own for the last 13 years. I dread using her bathroom when I visit and try not to. And I say that as one of these men that cleans.

I decided a long time ago that we split the house work I do the inside jobs he does the outside jobs we share the cooking!!

So all gardening, window washing, car maintenance, bins, and keeping garage and shed tied is his stuff, he does cook at least three times a week but usually more as he likes cooking I hate cooking!! He does empty the dishwasher ever morning, while waiting for the kettle to boil, as he makes me my cup of tea ever morning.

The other reason I decided to do all the washing ironing and cleaning inside is that I’m a fussy cow and I like cleaning.

This might seems a very old fashion system to most of you but it real works for us we never argue about the house as we just both get on with what we have to do. But I think that he cooks does help also when it’s your night to cook you also have to buy the stuff and decide what’s for tea and clean up the kitchen when you have finished.

Thanks for all the replies everyone! I did actually speak to him last night about it and how he is being unfair. I said that until he had actually run out of clean cups and plates to use then he wouldn't dream of washing them and that I have to think about everything all the time to make sure we always have what we need etc.

Anyway he took on board what I had said and say's he will try more.... here's hoping :-)

Anyway he took on board what I had said and say's he will try more.... here's hoping :-)

Try more? He's made himself sound like a child!! He doesn't need to try, he just needs to pitch in and do it. None of it is at all difficult to do.

Not all men, mine has OCD and cleans a lot but it's not as good as it sounds because he nags a lot too.

No not all men are crap at cleaning. Why not try another man who isn't lazy and can do his fair share of the chores?

@ASatisfyingThump How can you say your DH has higher standards, when it's him that leaves his shit everywhere?

He can demonstrate his higher standards by picking up after himself.

TwentyViginti I wish. His standards don't seem to apply to himself, just me. He wants the house to look like a show home but he doesn't want to put the effort in himself.

I’ll bet you a Mars Bar, OP, that he “ tries” for a few weeks and then everything will be back to normal.

And he won’t do anything because

1. He can’t see it
2. You have too high standards
3. You didn’t ask him
4. You did ask him but in the wrong tone of voice
5. He did it before and you weren’t appreciative enough
6. He was going to do it later but now he won’t because you reminded him
7. You didn’t remind him
8. You reminded him at the wrong time / in the wrong time of voice

Anything other suggestions for my Lazy Fucker bingo card ?

1. He'll do it on his timescale (meaning he'll leave it until you have to do it, then complain that he was just about to.)

@double3xposure - this is funny... and yes I have had received number 2 and 7 before

10. Boils cashmere, washes whites with reds, overloads washing machine. Doesn't add powder, adds too much powder.
11. Cooks but uses every utensil and pan in the house. Half spilled packets, opens already opened products.
12. Puts things away so when you open cupboards things fall on your head.
13. Cleans up after cooking but doesn't wipe down surfaces, sweep floor, empty bin or clean out sink.
14. Loads dishwasher but doesn't do it right so nothing washes properly.
15. Forgets to pick children up from school, take them to appointments or clubs.
16. Goes shopping but calls every two seconds checking they've got the right product. Still comes back with half a melon and a nail brush.

In sum - you have yourself a passive aggressive on your hands who wants you to take over because their testicles get in the way and they can't see the mess.

One of the reasons I divorced him
He ‘didn’t see ‘ what needed doing

Oddly he is capable of independent thought at work ...