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Original poster

Men & Cleaning

78 replies

Horsesforcourses23 · 20/02/2020 14:28

Its a bit of a lighthearted thread this one, but seriously.... Men and cleaning.

Does anyone have a man who acknowledges and cleans first without a continual reminder of what to do.

Honestly it's the bane of my life. Thursday is bin day, without fail every week, and every Thursday I have to take the bin out or remind him to take the bin out and then when I come home from work I have to bring the bin back in even if he's back first. He will have walked past it to get in and just left it there.

It sounds really petty and it's more just a general moan but are all men just crap at cleaning?

OP posts:
TheSandman · 20/02/2020 15:53

oww the sandman your wife is a very lucky lady.

No she's not. I do most of the cleaning because:
A: She earns more money than me and I'm the stay at home parent. It's my job.
B: She's shit at cleaning and always has been. (I'm a better cook too. Apart from cakes. She's much better at cakes than I am.)

BigFatLiar · 20/02/2020 15:57

My husband cleans, cooks, does laundry and anything else needed. He lived on his own before we got together so had no option. When we married he just kept on, we share around the house but generally if he sees something needing doing he'll just do it. It may not be as I would do it but I'd rather let him crack on than cause an argument. He's a better cook than me and even cleans as he goes in the kitchen.

A friend is married to a former sailor and he hates it when she does his ironing as he does it much better and even does hers. He even goes around at times 'finishing' the housework and tidying.

Gobbycop · 20/02/2020 16:02

I'm a bloke and I do quite a lot of cleaning and tidying.
You know why, because I don't want to live in a shit hole.
Quite simply really.

Original poster
Horsesforcourses23 · 20/02/2020 16:04

@Bigfatliar

Yes you see I do think if you have lived on your own before you seem to "know" what to do and will clean up after yourself more.. or maybe not and it's just wishful thinking ha ha

OP posts:
Bawbags · 20/02/2020 16:12

Mine will look at the couple of bits of fluff and dirt on the living room floor and go get a broom and do the sweeping. I look at the few bits and think, "It's only the floor and it's not doing any harm. I'll get it later"
DH will look at the clean laundry basket needing folded and put away and he'll immediately start doing that whereas I'm happy waiting another half hour for the dryer to finish so I can do it all at once.

Actually bugs me a bit because we can be ready to go somewhere and just before we leave, he needs to start folding laundry!!!

Shoxfordian · 20/02/2020 16:17

My husband does the majority of household stuff. We both work full time and we have a weekly cleaner. He sorts all the washing out, empties the dishwasher more than me, clears the table, takes the bins out. I cook most of the food and occasionally empty the dishwasher.

He lived alone before and his flat was tidy and clean.

Stop enabling useless behaviour op

weegiemum · 20/02/2020 16:19

We've had to have dh and our dc do plenty in the house since I'm disabled with a degenerative neurological illness which really affects my mobility and other things.

I do most of the cooking, though dh does a really great roast dinner and comes into his own on Christmas Day! He's very generous with the trimmings! Dd2 (16) will also sometimes cook.

We have a cleaner once a week who does the whole house apart from teenagers rooms!

Through the week the dc do their own laundry, will stick ours on for us if asked, they empty and fill up the dishwasher, set and clear the table, wipe down dirty surfaces. They hoover if needed and mop floors if required (usually just gets done by cleaner). I feel I should be teaching them how to clean a toilet! Their own rooms are down to them, as long as dishes and rubbish come out when asked for. Ds (18) is more hygienic than his little sister! Dd1 is left home now and much better at keeping her flat clean than her room when she was at home!

potter5 · 20/02/2020 16:20

My husband retired early but I still work FT.
He has bugger all else to do all day apart from housework and ironing.

Crack on!!

TwoZeroTwoZero · 20/02/2020 16:22

Does anyone have a man who acknowledges and cleans first without a continual reminder of what to do? Yes. Dh does quite a lot in our house. I love it when dh has a day off and I'm at work. All the laundry and the cooking and other household chores that I hate doing get done!

LannieDuck · 20/02/2020 18:33

I would stop making his lunch for him. If he won't put himself out to clean up any mess you made (let alone made while you were doing his lunch!), why should you put yourself out to make lunch for someone else?

And I would stop reminding him about the bins. So the kitchen bin overflows - he'll need to pick it all up (obv only an option to let it get this far if your kids are tiny). He'll run out of space in the outside bin, so he'll need to drive the excess bags to the tip. Let him deal with the consequences of being lazy.

LannieDuck · 20/02/2020 18:34

Oops: if your kids aren't tiny

Purplewithred · 20/02/2020 18:37

Dh could have written your post about me. His standards are much higher than mine. But I have upped my game so he’s not stressed or upset by it and he doesn't see what I get up to when he’s away...

Cruddles · 20/02/2020 18:46

My wife has never ever moved the sofas to hoover under them. But magically every month all the items that end up there and dust accumulated has somehow sorted itself out. Couldn't have been me that did it though 'cause I'm a man. Must be the magic cleaning fairies (female ones I'm assuming)

Original poster
Horsesforcourses23 · 20/02/2020 18:50

@cruddles Im sorry I know all men aren't the same but honestly mine doesn't even know where the hoover is let alone go under the sofa to clean for me

OP posts:
honeylulu · 20/02/2020 18:52

My husband does most of the laundry, half the cooking/ shopping (we do alternate nights), bins, hoovers and does half the dusting plus gardening and DIY as required. He just gets on with it.

I clean the bathrooms and kitchen, other half of the cooking and dusting, sweep and mop all hard floors. I also tidy daily, do some DIY and most of the household/ school admin.

We gave up our cleaner when we were renovating our new house but have all the cleaning organised so efficiently between us - both work full time - have decided to keep the saving and carry on ourselves.

My teenage son though is shocking! But at least he contains the mess to his room.

Double3xposure · 20/02/2020 18:54

Because that was HIS cup and HIS mess... the chopping boards and knives that were SAT BY the sink were my mess.... after having made his lunch... I could have screamed!

Don’t have kids with this man OP. He will do nothing for them on the basis that “ you wanted them “.

I’m not joking.

ItsJustTheOneSwanActually · 20/02/2020 18:59

DH always has done his fair share - in fact he did much more than me when he worked shifts years ago and was at home during the day a lot.

HappyAsASandboy · 20/02/2020 19:56

Cleaning and tidying and remembering bin day is not more suited to one sex than the other!

My DH is better at cleaning than me. I tend to manage to wipe round/spot hoover during the week, but on Saturday morning DH cleans properly. Bins are totally his domain - he empties the bins in the house and puts the right bins out on the right days and deals with the backlog by taking to the tip if he forgets.

I do other things, that are either more suited to my skills or are things that need doing during the early evening when DH is travelling home. We both pull our weight, and will both absolutely step in and do the other persons jobs when needed and/or asked. But we start from a position of both of us being responsible for domestic tasks not one of us managing the other.

ukgift2016 · 20/02/2020 20:09

My partner cooks and cleans and so did my ex husband.

The men who 'cant clean' are lazy shits who rely on the sexist attitudes of "oh men eh, they are so silly arent they! Don't know how to turn on a washing machine"

FizzyPink · 20/02/2020 20:12

My DP thinks he is an excellent cleaner and loves to tidy the kitchen around me when I’m in the middle of cooking something elaborate.
In fact he is excellent at tidying and wiping surfaces, this does not mean it is clean! We’ve agreed that when we move in together we will be getting a cleaner Grin

Mummyshark2018 · 20/02/2020 20:23

My dh cleans a lot and is obsessed with washing clothes (lighthearted!). We have friends coming for the weekend and I jokingly said no more clothes washing (don't want it hanging in utility/ spare bedroom etc) and he was upset 😂. Tbf he works away 2 weeks a month so I think there's a bit of feeling he needs to make it up to me :-)

I do all the cooking and do clean also.

JustaScratch · 20/02/2020 20:44

We have a cleaner, but my DH does a lot of domestic stuff otherwise - food shopping, sorting DD out, preparing dinner, cleaning kitchen, sorting dog, taking rubbish out.

He doesn't work as he's recovering from an injury but he does a lot, and certainly doesn't think of it as helping me out. I work full time and am away a lot, so he doesn't really have a choice!

In fact, DD is invited to a school birthday party this weekend and for the first time DH was put on the Whatsapp group instead of me. Usually the assumption just seems to be that because I'm the mum, I'm in charge of DD's social calendar. I'm euphoric! Grin

ASatisfyingThump · 20/02/2020 22:22

DH is the one with the higher standards and it's still me that bloody does it all, except he moans if it's not up to scratch. It makes me want to scream - he will leave his clothes wherever he sheds them of an evening, rubbish just left where it falls (including next the bin- seriously, just lift the lid and put it in, it's right there!) He has a growing collection of plates and glasses on his desk that he won't even take to the kitchen, never mind putting them in the dishwasher. And then he wonders why the house is a state Hmm and decides it's clearly because I'm not doing enough.

swingchandelier · 20/02/2020 22:28

Your husband is just lazy and doesn’t care about the fact you have to do it all. He needs to change or you should leave. You’re not his servant

nex18 · 20/02/2020 22:49

I think men that don’t pull their weight with housework or don’t know how to clean have never been taught or shown how to. Which is why my 13 yo ds is expected to help out around the house. He can manage to remember to put the bins out and knows to wash his own football kit even if he still needs reminding to shower.
The same probably applies to women too.