Feeling gutted. I have just found out my ex has got engaged

[adagiok5]

I am so gutted. I went out with my ex for 3 years lived with him for the last year. We were so happy everyday he told me he loved me. Then he went away for 3 weeks in America last July as an instructor on an activity adventure for young people he went with my blessing. Whilst there he met someone else. When he came home I found out that he was texting her all the time. I walked out and he moved straight into her. Six months later they got engaged in Valentine's day. I just don't know what to do with myself the pain is awful

The cynic in me says that has all happened a bit too quick with him and that the relationship will probably crash and burn!

It is really rough on you to hear that he is engaged, but somewhere in the future you will thank your lucky stars that it turned out the way it did.

These are some relationship rules that helped me:

1. You cannot force someone to love you.
2. The only persons behaviour you can control is your own.
3. The person who can make you truly happy is your self.

This will be a painful time, grieve the relationship and then love yourself more.🌻

Check out these for relationship advice:
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Sounds like you are better off without him. Who knows what mess he may make of his future Yes, it sounds very hurtful. One day it will pass. I guess this happens when men are in work situations that involve a lot of interaction with others. Affairs happen in the acting profession a lot for example.

Thank you for your replies. The awful thing is I was just coming to terms with the split. I feel that I have wasted three years of my life .Just before he went to America I had just celebrated my 60th birthday I had a party for friends and family I even brought the date forward so that he could be there. The woman he has just got engaged to has just celebrated her 50th he asked her on her 50th to get engaged

OP I'm in a similar situation, he's not got engaged (AFAIK) but he's happily posting on insta about meeting her family in the states. We went from I love you to nothing overnight late last year when he met his new woman.

Totally ghosted although I have had some communication with him on the last week or so.

It's absolute agony but I'm making incremental steps towards getting over it. I miss him so much, mostly the friendship. It's hard to see how "happy" he seems with things, and to stay away. Unfortunately they're both a bit famous so it's almost impossible to not hear about it or see it.

I thought you were going to be young . Is he 60 ish too ? Men tend to get very selfish as they get older - it's all about their "happiness" . He sounds like a right prick !

Don't think of it as wasting your time - you can learn from this .

Sorry OP this must be very difficult.

Take each day at it comes, and know that is okay and normal to have these feelings.

23TheStuffedPenguin
He is 57.
I had a very unhappy marriage for 25 years I was on my own for about 6 years then I met my ex

@Genvonklinkerhoffen is it the dude from DOI?

I don't know what DOI is so probably not!

Dancing on ice?? Lol. No.

I was in a similar situation. I was with my ex for 10 years. Had a house together etc. I wanted children, he didn't, which made me unhappy. I then found out he was texting someone for the last year of our relationship which gave me the courage to end it. He's now in a relationship with this person and she is planning all the things I wanted. Initially I felt I had wasted 10 years of my life with this person and really struggled to come to terms with losing everything I had worked for.

I am now 2 years into a new relationship and couldn't be happier. Its taken some time but I realise now how toxic my previous relationship was. Sometimes my anger about my ex rears itself and makes me insecure but my new partner is so understanding. He's made me love myself again and realise I deserved better.

My ex recently text me to say he regrets everything and wishes we were still together. I replied telling him everything I could never say before. Telling him how he made me feel and how i've moved on. I'm glad this happened because since then I feel that I can finally move on. It has taken over 3 years to get to this point, but hopefully you will get there in time. x

@Genvonklinkerhoffen
Thank you for your advice. I am so glad things turned out well for you x

Sorry GenvonklinkerhoffenI I replied to the wrong person. Thanks for your kind words I hope things improve for you. There emotions are so awful

Titch88
Thank you for your reply . I am so sorry you had to go through what you did . But I am pleased that you have turned your life around

I may be a little cynical but engagement question in lieu of 50th present, ring in lieu of a valentines. Doesn't sound very imaginative!

Engaged within six months, still very much in honeymoon period (and he's a bit of a cheater too)- what could possibly go wrong.

However it goes though obviously, your only job is to recover and move on. Yo wouldn't have him back even if he wanted to in future, would you?

Green card marriage!

EuroMillionsWinner. That maybe not far from the truth she lives in the channel islands and has been desperate to leave. It turns out she did the asking as it's leap year.

Ugh. The instagramming makes me feel ill. Such staged photos and unnatural captions underneath. I feel sick when I see them and anxious for hours.

How are you doing OP.

Lexie great advice

Watch that Sex and the City episode 'Ex and the City' where Big does this to Carrie. Will make you feel better and that it's him not you!

Honestly the best form of revenge and moving on is to find your happiness. Let them have their smiling fakeness, with time shit will happen to them to and with his track record it will be likely to be sudden and sad. Switching off for you will not be instant, but taking the energy from missing him and applying it to something new will help you see a new future that he is not involved with. Anything new...arts and crafts, academic learning, sports, volunteer with a charity.

Oh no :( what a dick. But you're better off free of him im sure you know. Treat yourself this week, have some me-time.

Genvonklinkerhoffen thank you for asking you are obviously still going through all this yourself and I hope you are ok as well.

I am sort of still processing it all. For me six months isn't such a long time as I said before I was just beginning to get my life back on track and thought I was doing well. This has been another blow but I think maybe I won't sink so low again I am a bit stronger now. I have been seeing a councillor who has been wonderful but I had just cut the visits down as I was doing so well.
Thank you everyone for your advice.