Partner having a female friend

[kat4321]

I was curious about others opinions on this, I am open and don't want to come across completely crazy.

My boyfriend has recently made a new female friend sort of through uni (they're not on same course or same classes or anything). He's been open with me from the beginning and I trust him 100%. They have a lot in common and seem to be getting on well and text quite a lot back and forth, he was planning on meeting her next weekend, I will also be 37 weeks pregnant. She has called him beautiful a few times through text and he thinks it's innocent.

He doesn't have many other friends and is more extroverted than me and says he wants to meet interesting people, which I understand. And as I said I do trust him, and you're probably wondering whats the issue then? But I just don't trust her or other women and their intentions, and for them to meet when I'm heavily pregnant and for me to be overthinking like crazy and driving my self mad, am I selfish for thinking he shouldn't meet her at this point? Or am I crazy for overthinking any of this at all? I probably am.

@robin2323

Agreed the beautiful comment is questionable and I think that needs to be understood more as in isolation it loos inappropriate but in context it maybe incorrect.
Agreed to that he should be stepping up and making sure that she is OK, but she doesn't complain about this so I assume he is.
The question as I see it and I maybe wrong, is that she would accept the situation if it was a man but is not happy as its a female. I think that is the problem, and it basically comes down to trust. I wouldn't want to be ( or to be with) the person who curtails their partners friendships due to my own insecurities and trust issues.
I think that is a same type of controlling many women face from men

who get insanely jealous as soon as they walk out the door.

I’d find this a tad inappropriate. My dp started a new job in September and his female colleague asked him to go to a gig with her in October. She had just split up with her boyfriend and had a spare ticket. When he told me I hit the roof. He thought I was totally unreasonable. I’m the same I trust him but not her. I don’t know her. If I met her and made a judgement I’d be more able to get an idea of her. Just see if he will be willing to let you meet her.

It's not an issue of a female friend at all. Any of the following would be reasonable:

Going for coffee between lectures
Car sharing to and from uni if both local
Messaging from time to time discussing uni stuff
Group nights out

Calling him beautiful and meeting outside uni for no other reason than because they enjoy eachother's company is opening the door to more.

A long-term ex of mine had a friend like this. They spent loads of time together. She was a new work friend and since I had plenty of male friends (none new, though), I thought I had no right to object. Also, it didn't even occur to me to see it as an issue.

He broke up with me after about a year of 'hanging out' with his friend who he told me he wasn't attracted to. He got with her one week later and married her! They have since divorced and he has since told me that she ever so subtly badmouthed me to him (without ever meeting me) and became 'the hand that rocked the cradle.' He said he regrets allowing her to influence him and regrets ever leaving me but it was all too late.

Whether we like it or not, male-female friendships, especially new ones in adulthood, where one person is clearly attracted to the other (we know she is), can be problematic!

I would not be happy with this at all. He needs telling.

"This is supposed to be the happiest time of our lives and you are spending way too much time with another female who calls you beautiful and wants alone time with you. The very fact that she knows you have a baby on the way speaks volumes about her character. You may find it flattering, but her disregard of me and your baby should make her repulsive to you. Stop giving her headspace. This is your first child. Be here for all of us."

It seems odd to me at this stage in your relationship and so do all the text messages. At your age, I imagine you are in your 20s, forging a strong friendship with someone of the opposite sex seems a bit disrespectful to you. The female friend needs to find an unattached friend, not one with a partner and a baby expected very soon. As you get older, friendships with others may naturally happen, ie work colleagues you may spend lunchtimes together. My husband has a couple of female ex colleagues he goes walking with maybe every couple of months. He occasionally gets a text message from one, usually about family issues. The other is more of a daughter figure. We both went to her wedding although I have only seen her briefly, once since and she now has two children.

However, we are both retired and I am happy as he has lots of male friends too to meet up with. I really don’t think I would be happy in your shoes. Time for your partner to grow up and realise where his priorities lie I feel. Maybe this ‘friend’ appeals to his vanity but perhaps she has unrealistic expectations of their friendship.

How are you doing OP? Did you speak to him?

He's AT IT

Sod that mate. She is not an old friend from before you met but a new woman who flirts with him. If she is going to be in his life at all it should be with you there as well. If she is such a good friend she will love his wife and baby too.