Bumble is depressing

[Mermaidwaves]

So after my latest man has finished with me after meeting him on Plenty of Fish I thought would try Bumble. Does anyone else find the format really demoralising? I'm not very photogenic and I'm a fuller figured girl and hardly anyone is swiping right so I can message them. The few that have seem to unmatch me immediately. I feel I'm being judged purely on the few decent pics I have up. At least on POF you can message freely, I'm articulate so have more success if I can freely chat to guys and win them over with my personality! Does anyone else find this?

Personally, I don’t like bumble.
Met my ex on POF, and while we were together he was also on bumble. Hence, he is an ex.
I’m still on POF but a lot faces are the same for many years. Currently, I’m not dating or looking...

I met my husband on okcupid. I got a lot of nasty messages and pointless ones but there are decent men there too.

Oh also I shared photos of me doing my hobbies which weren't the most flattering but I was having fun. It helped to attract a man interested in the same sports and gave a talking point early on.

I hated Bumble, literally only met creeps on there. Match was the same. I think a fair proportion of men just want to collect matches and messages, and delight in not responding/unmstching/ghosting women who send the first message. I much preferred Tinder, more people, more open.

I’m a size 16-18 and 57, met my current guy on s swingers site 😂. Diversify!

Thanks for the positive messages 😊 I'm considering deleting the account as it seems a bit pointless.
Is ok cupid free and do you have to swipe?

Everyone will have different experiences of different sites. I HATED Bumble and was the worst one for me. Any guy I ever matched with either unmatched me straight away, or just wasted my time.
POF worked best as you can message freely and I often used to get messages from guys that hadn't shown up on searches so you get a better variety I think. Yes you have to wade through the horrible messages but you just delete and ignore.

I've used pof before but I can't seem to create an acount, I deleted my previous account cos I had met someone 😕 I won't make that mistake again. Pof seems to throw me off after 30 mins and the account hasn't registered. Has this happened recently to anyone else?

Usually means you've been blocked. I had that. Had to set up a different email. Or turn your wife box of for an hour then it provides a different IP address and will let you set one up. I tried this 3 times then waited about 3 weeks tried again and it was fine. I think it's because I had something in my bio that wasnt allowed. Cocktail.....

Men are like kids in a sweet shop when it comes to dating. I’ve always found men totally overrated themselves and women tend to underrate themselves. That’s why very average looking men think they can pull someone 20 years younger. Men are deluded when it comes to dating so it’s a numbers game for women.

@something2say i'm bisexual and i can tell you there's nothing inherently 'hot' about weighing less. Horrible misogynistic post.

I'm old and have been married since forever so I have no experience of online dating stuff.
Can I ask, does nobody meet other people in pubs or bars anymore? Or at parties or through friends?

This was the standard way to meet people in my day() and I am pretty certain that if I'd had to put a picture online I would never have met anyone!
You can start chatting to a stranger who seems just normal and after talking for a while, they turn into the most attractive person on earth!

A young single friend joined a group online that was all about meeting new people to do stuff with...sports or cinema visits or theatre or whatever. Shes now engaged to someone she met through that. Maybe a better option?

I think the decline of pubs and clubs and also increased social isolation has happened alongside the rise in OLD and the "internet-for-everything" mindset. I'm sure some people do meet each other in pubs still, but i imagine far fewer.

My attempts at making rl connections with people i fancy in recent years have tended to fall flat - it's almost like in Jane Austen when someone flouts a social norm although others may have had more luck?

@Mermaidwaves i think try all these sites for a period every few months and guage the good and bad points. I'm a size 14/16, reasonably attractive but I think now there are just too many people looking to collect matches rather than actually date. I don't think it's a size thing as my FWB has a real thing for curvier women and I've seen loads of blokes saying the same. Different tastes really. Try POF as I like how you can just chat rather than matching. Also, if you are looking for something more sexual, try FAB. Lots of women seem to do well there.

I paid for a month of hinge and didn’t have much success... however, I think it was a lot of luck but I did meet my DP on bumble, the free version. It took hours of swiping and messaging others to be unmatched etc though!

Why is it called Hinge? Anyone know? I can't think of any romantic connotations.

If it’s not for you then it’s not for you but loads of people like not getting loads of messages from people they aren’t interested in so only want messages from people they match with. It’s a good concept imo

I have a very poor response rate on bumble . It was 25 percent , how about 10! I think men just sit back and enjoy the attention ! I’ve been unmatched a lot too .

• now about 10

I also met someone on bumble who was quite dangerous to be honest, I don’t blame bumble for that though .

OP OLD is just one strategy to use amongst others. Don't rely solely on it. Get out there: go and travel, join a class, do a wine tasting course, try a speed dating event, ask friends if they can match you up, ask a man you like the look of if he's single.

I'm sure you're lovely; it's just that there are an awful amount of saddos out there. I wouldn't bother paying either as those on the paying sites are on the free ones as well.

I go to my local Buddhist centre and there are loads of blokes there. I don't go to look for men, it's just an example.

Just to go against the grain i liked bumble and had a few nice dates out of it. I really liked the concept and i am not at all conventionally attractive. In the end i met dp on pof after a longgg time meeting weirdos.

Thanks for your responses folks. I really wish I could meet people locally. I have just found out about a local pub to me that plays my kind of music so I might try going there to find a like minded soul.

I agree that a lot of guys seem to want the ego boost and not actually want to meet. I have had no matches at all on Bumble today so I'm deleting it. I will keep trying to get back on pof as a poster above advised.

@Mermaidwaves okcupid was free when I did it and there was no swiping. You could look at profiles and message people but as a straight woman I tended to get messages varying from marriage material to surreal (someone wanted to hunt zombies with me, no idea why he thought that'd be my thing, someone wanted to be my submissive, again not sure why) to the pointless ('hey sexy' with literally NO OTHER WORDS) and horrible. But it's worth filtering for the good and excellent dates I did get and the husband and kids I now have as a result 😀

@Mermaidwaves I started a thread on how people met earlier and the stories are so varied! A few online dating but loads IRL too! Worth a read!

only used it once, got catfished