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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should he have come looking for me?

34 replies

HuskyloverI · 16/02/2020 00:49

Day out today with drinking involved. I went to bed at 7pm for a nap, feeling the effects. Woke up at 11pm, to find DH snoring on the sofa. Decided to go on the laptop and surf. We are in a town house, so he was asleep on the middle floor, I was on the ground floor....he woke up at about midnight and went to bed on the top floor....I'm obviously not in bed, but he hasn't checked on where the fuck I am. What if I had answered the door to a weirdo and been snatched away? I find it so odd, that he can see our empty bed, and just flop into it, without wondering where I am.

OP posts:
Feelingpoorlysick · 16/02/2020 00:55

Maybe he was half asleep and disorientated. Does it really matter? Life is too short to be bothered worrying about things like this.

TeensArghhhh · 16/02/2020 00:55

How old are you? Are you old enough to be relied on to keep yourself safe indoors?

WorraLiberty · 16/02/2020 00:56

He was pissed, tired, woke up and staggered to bed.

I doubt the first thought in his mind would have been "I wonder if my wife answered the door and got kidnapped?" Grin

Don't pay it any more thought.

WhatACrockO · 16/02/2020 00:58

I doubt the first thought in his mind would have been "I wonder if my wife answered the door and got kidnapped?"

Grin
HuskyloverI · 16/02/2020 01:00

I just know that I would look for him in the same circs.

OP posts:
Redglitter · 16/02/2020 01:00

What if I had answered the door to a weirdo and been snatched away

Yeah cos that happens all the time 🙄

assilem92 · 16/02/2020 01:02

I'd look for my DH too.

However, I know for a fact my DH would gave one thing in mind - bed.

He would probably check the front door was locked before he thought to check on me. Not because he doesn't care, it's just what he does when he's drunk.

Give him a few more hours he'd probably come to look for you, don't take it personal

WorraLiberty · 16/02/2020 01:04

I just know that I would look for him in the same circs.

You can't possibly know that.

He could have virtually slept walked to bed. You know when you're disorientated and you just know you're not in the right place (ie bed), so you get up and just go.

LightDrizzle · 16/02/2020 01:07

It’s never the posts where you need voting that have voting.
YABU!

HuskyloverI · 16/02/2020 01:10

The thing is, he used to always check I was safe. Doesn't bother now. I mean, where the fuck does he think I am??

OP posts:
12345kbm · 16/02/2020 01:10

If you wait long enough, I'm sure you'll hear the helicopter.

Weffiepops · 16/02/2020 01:10

Yabvu he's drunk, he probably heard you shuffling about, this is such a non issue

Barbararara · 16/02/2020 01:14

Without the dramatic catastrophe scenarios, dh and I both come looking for each other if we wake in the night and the bed is empty, so I kind of get what you’re saying.
But when drink is involved, it’s hard to judge how alert/ coherent he would be. I’d give him the benefit of the doubt.

Divebar · 16/02/2020 01:14

Wow. A 4 hour nap ? You must have been hammered.

WorraLiberty · 16/02/2020 01:17

The thing is, he used to always check I was safe. Doesn't bother now. I mean, where the fuck does he think I am??

I don't know. You were both pissed.

In the loo having a wee?

In the kitchen making a cup of tea?

Or (again) maybe he was virtually asleep and not thinking anything in his drunken state.

Seriously, look at this thread again in the morning and I'm sure you'll feel differently.

SpinneyHill · 16/02/2020 01:35

He knows you are capable of being in the house without being kidnapped or going wandering in just your knickers?

What happened to you that you would check in on another adult who was inside the house?

differentnameforthis · 16/02/2020 01:35

Sorry, is there a reason that your dh needs to know exactly where you are, at all times?

He is probably still pissed, and half asleep!

differentnameforthis · 16/02/2020 01:37

I mean, where the fuck does he think I am?? In any of the other rooms he isn't in?

MysweetAudrina · 16/02/2020 01:40

Go to sleep and stop your brain from making up shite.

Cruddles · 16/02/2020 01:42

OP, can you please provide us with updates of your safety so we know you haven't snatched by some weirdo ringing your doorbell. I'm really concerned

DioneTheDiabolist · 16/02/2020 01:43

Why dont you wake him up and ask him about it OP?Grin

notthisshitagain · 16/02/2020 01:43

Seriously, look at this thread again in the morning and I'm sure you'll feel differently.

I'd suggest hiding it and forgetting you posted it. I don't think the responses will all be so kind.

Friendsofmine · 16/02/2020 01:48

Is this the first time you've gone on the laptop in the night?

If not, he knows you're OK and wants to sleep .

PhilCornwall1 · 16/02/2020 01:49

What if I had answered the door to a weirdo and been snatched away?

I didn't think many on here answered their door!!

haveyoutriedgoogle · 16/02/2020 01:52

Are you for real? 🤨
Stop being so needy and looking for drama.

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