Am i weird in that i find friends hard work?

[malificent7]

I have friends but i keep them at arms length due to competetive, bitchiness and just me finding people hard. I feel like im misding out but i dont want to mill ake new friends.

I don't think any kind of relationship should be hard work, and if they are, I wouldn't think they are worth my energy either. Maybe you're just meeting the wrong people?

I think i'm a bot of a hermit ay heart but i also feel like i'm missing out somewhat.

I love to have friends and socialise, work friends and friends I've had for many years.

But sometimes I just like my own space, plus I find myself getting a bit insecure , I dnt tell any one but sometimes it gets a bit too much , do anyone else get that?

Not weird at all. I am perfectly happy having lots of "acquaintances" and my few close friends live some distance away so relatively low maintenance.

Whatever works for you!

I find it hard, exhausting really, people are needy.

I prefer to have acquaintances rather than friends too. This has come about with age, though, and I have adult DC to talk to, which may make a difference.

I find this sometimes...
I love spending time with my friends but one particular friend will ‘pop in’ for coffee and stay alllllllll day. However much I hint that I have things to do, she’ll just stay firming glued to my sofa with her feet up chatting away.

We have 6 DC and what with school stuff/clubs/football/work etc I find it exhausting sometimes adding friends in to the equation.
I like my evenings with DH. As cheesy as it sounds, he’s my best mate so I feel like I get the best of both worlds already.
Whatever works for you OP. I think it’s about finding that happy balance!

Bit..

Not just me then...if it gets too deep with friends it normally goes pear shaped!

I understand you totally. This is how I feel! X

I am a bit like this. I would like to make more friends but I'm busy and I can't really be bothered to meet up with people I don't know that well. And then everything after is effort. A true friendship would be worth it in the end but it takes so much effort and honestly I can't be bothered.

I'm starting to feel like this too!

Are the people you describe really friends?

Like what Hepsibar said .... Are they really friends? They don't sound like it.

I don’t have many friends, maybe a couple and I only see them a few times a year. And I’m ok with that. Friends are hard work. I work full time, have my partner and kids, I’m too tired to try and see friends more.

I don't like people in general .

I do have friends but they are people like me so we are all happy avoiding each other

I feel that too - I am in a few groups and there is always moaning / inviting some not others / falling out / power plays.....

I get so worn down by it all

I have a few good friends but they live away so we don’t see each other all the time

I have lots of acquaintances but always keep a distance these days.

I've been massively betrayed by 2 friends in the past, a few years apart - one a humongous betrayal, I'd happily run her over or something if I ever saw her again.

The other allowed herself to be "wendied" and me to be pushed out of the group. She tried to reconcile a couple of years later when the same was eventually done to her, but I'll never trust her or think of her in the same way again.

As an acquaintance and an observer with an emotional distance in the "friendship" groups I'm now part of - I see bitching, backstabbing, deliberate exclusion, Queen bee behaviour.

It doesn't surprise me. And it also doesn't affect me as as I'm not emotionally invested, and I find that so much easier.

I have old friends, just a couple, who live miles away. I sometimes think I want a group of girlfriends but in reality when anyone tries to get friendly with me, I back off unless they are exactly like me. If not, I can't be bothered. I go to the coffee mornings so I stay in touch with mums for my son...but not for me, I couldn't give a shit and I am far too lazy.

Also with kids, DH, house, work, elderly mum I dont have time for friends "popping in". Any spare time is spent with DC or DH and I'm happy with that.

If you're lonely, obviously do something about that but if you're just not very sociable and prefer your own company or DH/DC, that's completely fine. Own it and stop worrying x

I'm that way too. A hermit almost.

I think my DSis is my best friend but we live so far apart I haven't seen her in 20 years. :(

I've always wanted just one best friend to travel with and do fun things with and talk about anything.

I don't like cliques either which dosn't help.

I have a couple of acquaintances, but no 'real' friends. It wasn't always like this, but after being shat on from a high height by several so-called friends, I suppose I'm protecting myself. No-one I've met has ever 'got' me as such and I'm not exactly an enigma, just an ordinary person.

Anyway, I like my own company. I have DP and 2 DC. Other people just get between me and my books and my knitting

I have friends but not the kind that you would call at 3am saying help me hide the body

Pretty much for the reasons you've articulated. It used to bother me but getting older has cured that! Now I am quite content - it works for me, I don't feel smothered or that I am doing all the giving.

I have a friend I see once a week and we message through the week. She's totally easy going and calm and I love going on hols with her. Most other friends are exhausting after the third hour. I think it's down to personality.

I've always been that way.