Why do I struggle to be there for my partner when he most needs it?

[Monmonga]

Hello, I live in a very happy long-term relationship with love and respect, so super lucky. Our personalities are quite different but we have really found our common wavelength. My partner is the best person on Earth, but I struggle with the aspect of his people pleasing tendency (especially towards his parents) and also being a bit of a pushover. These really push my button somehow and I can't be supportive of him when he does these things, even if he needs it. Two recent examples:
He was ill recently, but instead of resting, he got up to Skype his parents and pretended all was well. Just to completely crash as soon as the call was done. I was so furious about this, that I went into silent treatment mode, even though knew he was very unwell and should have just ignored the call and supported him to get better. It took me a few hours to get this out of my system and be normal with him, felt awful about being such a terrible partner to him.
Another one: at work someone had taken credit for something he had done and this has really hurt him. But he is not saying anything to anyone, just living silently with the consequences. This makes me so mad, I went into arguments and felt awful afterwards seeing how affected he is and me arguing instead of supporting him when he needs the most.

Does anyone have tips on how to overcome my own block in these situations and be able to be on his side no matter what? He always has my back and I can always lean on him, so feel awful having this really poor behaviour towards him.
Thank you!

Thank you all for the responses. I think I might have made it sound like this rules our lives, but in fact this is a small slice, still significant though, hence looking for improving on it. I trust his judgement in most situations and he has my full respect. I do not do this out of disrespect at all.
For the person who said I should leave him: I love him and we are a happy family, why should I? If he isn't happy (which I doubt on the whole, even if he isn't happy with every moment), he will have to make that decision himself.

@baubled I am definitely not looking for an excuse but for a solution. Thank you for sharing your experience from "the other side", this is very valuable to me.

@corythatwas I think it is very well possible that that was his assessment of the situation (sorry, my phone doesn't let me copy from other posts so can't put in what exactly I am responding to). It would have helped had he just said that.

I do not try to control all his interactions with people, brought a specific example here and admitted that I was in the wrong with my behaviour. I am looking for advice on how to change it.

Well, there’s always therapy and counselling.

I’d recommend something intensive and targeted toward this particular concern (why do I react so horribly when I feel my partner isn’t standing up for himself) rather than a long “so how was your week” style therapy.

I’ve done the latter and it helped but didn’t click. I’ve done the former and it cost more money up front (far less in the long run), and it absolutely clicked.

I’m still not perfect but it’s made a massive difference to how I behave and what I will understand, how I will support, and what I will not tolerate.

I’m a better person. Who ever said identifying why you have the reactions you have can’t be used as an excuse is right.

OP, yes it did help lessen my emotional response mainly because we finished our conversations on a positive note. So I was no longer putting down the phone thinking "if only the silly sod would just do as I say..." and stropping about for the rest of the evening. And he in turn had reassurance that he was loved and that his feelings were valid.

@ShagMeRiggins Thank you! How did you find the therapy that worked for you?
I have tried counselling twice, one was the 'How are you?' type (I think it was called person-centered counselling). While it was nice, it wasn't particularly effective.
The other type was called 'Transactional Analysis' and was so invasive it triggered me so much I had to stop after a few sessions.

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation That sounds great, the kind of outcome I am hoping for.

Everyone should be open to change. We all,forever more should tame down our ott elements, and bring up our lesser qualities.

He should want to be more assertive/less of a doormat. The question is, why doesn't he?

It would drive me nutty!

To everyone who shared their thoughts on this thread: I would like to say thank you for helping me reflect on the situation. Just wanted to share that I have spoken to a charity called 'Respect' and they have been super helpful in pointing me to the right direction to address the issues with my behaviour. So if there is anyone reading this who identifies with my story and is looking for support, I would strongly suggest to get in touch with them for a chat:
respectphoneline.org.uk

Thank you all again!