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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Anyone have experience of a DP on the anti depressant citalopram?

28 replies

User555qq · 10/02/2020 19:30

Having a hard time with new ish DP and wondering if anyone has noticed these things...

Difficulty sleeping, withdrawn, lack of engaging and not wanting to do much. Things like going out to the shops seeming like a big ordeal but when we are there he says the fresh air has been nice.

We’ve not spoken about the fact he takes these, I’ve just noticed them in the bathroom and the packet goes down each day...

OP posts:
Original poster
User555qq · 10/02/2020 19:32

He mostly wants to lay in bed or lounge around and can be quiet. He’s holding down a decent job though and does usual things like holidays and nights out. He just seems almost apathetic about most things, including me. Like I say I’ve not mentioned the anti depressants but when I’ve asked how he feels about me he’s very invested and says all the right things so I genuinely don’t think he notices his behaviour.

OP posts:
3rdchristmaslucky · 10/02/2020 19:37

How long has he been taking them?
What you're describing is depression. Citalopram will treat this, but they take about a month to work into your system and take effect.
Have you talked about his mood?

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 10/02/2020 19:39

How long has been taking them? They make me feel truly crap for at least 7-10 days & a good 3-4 weeks until I feel ‘normal’ on them.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 10/02/2020 19:42

Sorry posted too soon. As 3rd has said what you’re describing is depression, depending how long he’s been taking them it might mean the dose needs adjusting. It might be worth gently bringing the subject up as he may not have realised.

Original poster
User555qq · 10/02/2020 19:43

He’s been on them 8 years according to his brother (I’m good friends with). I will talk to him about it but just want to know what it’s about really...are those usual side effects or is he just a bit lazy! Ha. He’s on 20mg does it that’s relavant.

OP posts:
Redland12 · 10/02/2020 19:52

They changed my husband, sex life totally went out of the window and we always had a fantastic sex life. Couldn’t be bothered with anyone or anything but held down a great job. He’s also a big drinker but apparently you can drink on them, now separated, you can lots of information about them on line.

Tinkerbellx · 10/02/2020 19:54

Have a conversation with him ?

whatdayevenisit · 10/02/2020 19:55

My partners on 20mg of citalopram and couldn't sleep, felt rubbish during the day.he used to take them in the morning but gp referred taking them in the evening and it works a lot better

ravenmum · 10/02/2020 20:07

As others have said, those are the effects of depression, the symptoms that Citalopram is meant to combat. Maybe his dose is a bit low? 20 mg is not much.

restingbitchface30 · 10/02/2020 20:49

I had a friend on citalopram and they completely numbed him. He couldn’t feel any emotions. None. So he was never happy, sad, angry etc. They made him incredibly tired and it was like he was just going through the motions

CuriousCapricorn · 10/02/2020 20:50

My dp is on 20mg and has been on them for a few years now. They seem to have killed his libido and therefore our sex life is pretty much non existent and we’ve almost broken up because of that. Both early forties.

ravenmum · 10/02/2020 20:55

If he does have side effects from citalopram, he needs to go to his doctor and ask if he should be on a different AD, change the dose or take them at a different time of day. There are other ADs that don't affect your sex life, for example.

mamato3lads · 10/02/2020 21:14

I'm on 20mg citalopram a day and have been for years. They dont make me lazy but do make me feel tired even when I've had tonnes of sleep. X

candative · 10/02/2020 22:13

My DP is on them. It's been a life saver, he's much better on than off. Side effects are some apathy/lethargy and drowsiness. He often falls asleep for 15 mins (or longer) during the day.

Glassio · 10/02/2020 22:15

my dp was on it for about 4 years, then they stopped working and needed to change to a different one.

Tealady13579 · 10/02/2020 22:49

My ex was on them and what you describe could be him. Add to that a non existent sex life. He couldn’t be bothered with anything but did hold down a very good job and masked it well work. Ultimately he was unhappy though as he left me for someone else and as far as I can tell from my DD he is much happier nowadays which seems to back up that I was his problem.

Numptywallice · 10/02/2020 22:58

I was the partner on them and I was a zombie o then. Couldn’t sleep on them, completely exhausted, dry mouth to name not a few problems on them.

dontgobaconmyheart · 10/02/2020 23:44

Yes and it was a horrendous experience that nearly ended the relationship. His personality completely altered he became snappy and quick to anger, lost all desire for affection ,couldn't maintain an erection and regardless had zero interest in sex.

Most of the above stopped when he came off it and switched to something different. Obviously some of the above comes with the territory for depression but it was all a bit upsetting really. We even noticed the difference when he skipped a weeks worth (his own poor management) and said he felt less angry/more loving.

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 10/02/2020 23:58

As others have said, what you are describing in your partner is not the 'side effects' of Citlaopram, but rather, the symptoms of Depression itself. If he's been taking them for eight years and still displaying all the signs of being depressed, it rather suggests that either the dosage is too low to be effective, or that the Citalopram has ceased to be effective and he needs to switch to a different anti-depressive medication. Either way, he should really be discussing this with his GP/CPN/Psychiatrist.

LemonTT · 11/02/2020 00:01

DP takes it. Some slight side effects but nothing major. His mental health is much better and with life style changes he is more present. If anything he is more affectionate and attentive. Sex is not an issue and again without stress better in many ways.

It’s a horses for courses thing. They don’t know why some ads work better or worse with different people. Prescribers start with the main generic and work their way through the alternatives until they find the one and dose that works. He should go back to the GP and also look at his lifestyle. Diet, socialising, fresh air and exercise all help.

2020vision10 · 11/02/2020 00:46

Nope... My partner has been on them for nearly 10yrs (for back pain rather than depression) and they have really helped him. Sleeps fine, high sex drive, alert... Maybe find out if its the meds, him or something that's happened recently.

ravenmum · 11/02/2020 07:52

One thing worth looking out for is whether the person is taking the pills regularly, at the same time of the day, and not forgetting them - when you are going on or coming off citalopram, you do get mood swings, for instance, so I would imagine that if someone was not taking them the right way, that could cause side effects.

Also, the mood swings AND the depression could actually both be the side effect of something else that has not been diagnosed. For example, someone might report feeling depressed, irritable and not being able to sleep well. They might get told that not sleeping is a symptom of depression. But what might actually be going on is that they are having problems with their breathing at night, which is waking them up, and their lack of sleep is making them feel miserable and irritable.

Whatever is going on, when you have unpleasant symptoms, report them to your GP / a professional, again and again if they continue. Don't just assume that it's your age, or you are just a miserable kind of a person, or whatever. I had trouble with feeling tired for years and it was only by coincidence that I discovered I just needed some iron tablets.

okiedokieme · 11/02/2020 08:09

They can cause tiredness from personal experience, definitely reduce libido - but they do work for depression. There's lots of alternative meds so if it's causing a problem then he should go to his gp, there's also natural ways that some people can combat depression meaning he could come off them with medical supervision, or try at least. Both stbexh and dp take antidepressants, they are not side effect free!

PrincessHoneysuckle · 11/02/2020 08:20

Citalopram gave me insomnia so dr put me on escitalopram which is purer form of drug.No more insomnia.

ShatnersWig · 11/02/2020 08:31

Different meds for different people. They were fabulous for me - didn't have any side effects whatsoever, but I was only on them for 18 months.