Who’s husband does this?

[Whysoslow]

Doesn’t comment on how you look for a night out?
Did my hair, nails and actually put on a dress for a girls night out on Saturday. Just a small acknowledgment of ‘you look nice’.
Nothing. And I was wearing a dress that he had seen and said he liked (it’s a gorgeous shirt dress from warehouse)
I know this has been done to death before but I just feel hurt by his lack of giving a shit!

A lot of men don't like their partners/wives going out on girls nights out - even if they won't acknowledge it. Could be a 'silent protest'.

Mine might comment if I tried to go out naked.

He says he thinks I always look good and doesn't understand the point in complimenting me when I've made an effort because that insinuates he thinks I look shit the rest of the time. He also doesn't understand the idea of having to compliment if I'm wearing an outfit he's previously said looks nice - I know he likes it, so why do I need to hear it again.

However I like the validation so house rule is if I wear red lipstick he tells me I look great.

Have you heard the old joke?

Wife: why don't you ever tell me you love me
Husband: I told you I loved you before we were married. If the situation changes, I will let you know.

That’s a bit shit my DH will always say when I look nice. What would he say if you actually asked outright?

He would tell me the truth and tbh he would have said I looked nice but I feel I shouldn’t have to ask. I don’t go out with my girlfriends often so it really is different for me to be dressed up and that’s why the lack of comment pissed me off.

Would he probably have complimented you if you had been going out with him?

Wouldn’t bother me as I know I look good when going out

I'm dressing up for me when I go out. DH randomly says nice things but he's not a fancy dress or make up bloke so he doesn't think I look extra nice when I go out.

My exh never gave compliments to anyone, so I never took it personally.
Bf will actually occasionally praise my bum or legs, mainly when I am wearing heels. But he has no idea that the heels are what's making my legs and bum look shapely. Zero interest in clothing.

I wouldn't expect DH to comment to be honest!

It wouldn't particularly occur to me to expect dh to do this tbh, and I certainly wouldn't be offender if he didn't. I don't comment on his outfit if he's going out- why would he comment on mine?

I find it odd especially when it’s not all the time that I make the effort. If It was all the time it would become the norm and then fair enough.
If DH wears a nice shirt or has put a new outfit together and looks either different or nicer than usual then I’d comment...I’d find it odd not to!
Fair enough if you really don’t like whatever it is that person is wearing I can understand a lack of acknowledgment but if you do why not say something??

My husband wouldn't say anything if I were wearing a shirt dress to be honest

I think it’s a bit mean of him not to say anything to be honest. My husband calls me hottie if I come downstairs in a new pair of pyjamas.

appearance talk is a bit boring. If asked for an opinion, then one should be offered, as long as recipient is adult enough to accept either answer. (many on here are not...)

and I agree with 'you look good' is as awkward as 'you've lost weight' which implies 'you were fat' so best not said!

Do you compliment him OP? Like little ones when he smells good, or when his arms look sexy in a t shirt?
I think if the answer is yes then he's definitely in the wrong

I've had depression and anxiety for most of my life so it's a really big deal for me to make an effort to get dressed and made up to go out. I must stress that I do it for myself, even though I know it made my (late) mum and, as they've got older (and appreciated the super strength effort at times) my kids happy.

I'm casting my mind back over all of my relationships though and it was only the last one that ever commented and complimented.
I've just recalled when I was first dating my dc's father. We were going to a wedding of a relation of his. I used to put myself down all the time and I'd chosen this clingy full length dress which I'd started thinking was a terrible mistake. But when I looked in the mirror, I was amazed at my figure and how gorgeous the dress looked on me. I was brimming with confidence. He picked me up with a 'you ready or what?' and my self esteem just slipped away again. Another ex would deliberately go out of his way not to look at me after it was clear I'd just got my hair styled. OMGIt's comical looking back but it used to crush me.

Ooh look up the 5 languages of love! One is words if affirmation. You want to hear your dh say you look nice to show he lives you. The other 4 are quality time, touch, acts of service and gifts. Tell him you need to hear it.

If it's not in his nature to compliment you without prompting, then do you really want a fake one?

I mean you could say "I'm about to go upstairs and get ready. When I come down, I want you to do a comical double take and say" OMG you look soooo amazing babe, please stay home and we'll have sex instead lol j/k" - and make it sound sincere!"

Bear in mind that women in general compliment each other far more than men.

Mine is the same. Sometimes he'll say 'oooh, you look fit' but 9 times out of 10 he won't comment on how I look. If I ever moan about it he just says 'but I always think you look lovely, I just don't always think to say it'. Just one of those crap things I've got used to

Sigh, it's always the same on here, people being deliberately obtuse about why you'd need a compliment, like you'd said you fancied a shit sandwich. Apparently you can't even say that was a nice meal because it implies every other meal wasn't.

Op it's normal to compliment each other if one of you have made an extra effort with your appearance, my husband does me. In fact he's the opposite and does it a bit much, like I'll climb out of bed looking like the living embodiement of medusa and he will say "oh you look lovely" like he really means it, sigh.

Why do you think he doesn't do it? Do you think he is in some way jealous, that you're going out without him and look nice? Or that he doesn't really like to bolster your ego? Would rather make you unsure? Or is he really obtuse and fails to notice?

My point is that I knew I looked nice (even if it was a shirt dress). All our children commented. I’m not needy, I don’t fish for compliments and I have good enough self esteem and body confidence to like how I look even when in leggings and a hoody. It’s the simple fact that it wasn’t acknowledged when I had made an effort.
Isn’t it just being nice to your partner?

And yes I do compliment him.

Mine doesn't ever compliment me...apart from "your breasts are so big" 😒

Mine rarely does this; I’d love it if he did though