Man talking about himself ALL THE TIME.

[samsungite]

If he isnt talking about himself
Directly,he will manage to turn the conversation around to him.
Honestly, it may be the saddest,
Most cruel story of loss or death or murder but he will invariably turn it around to him. He is so unaware socially that he is doing this.
Now there is a history of just about every female close to him on his life thinking he is the bees knees. I do not however.
What's his story ?
I ignore and the more I ignore the more he follows me around trying to big himself up.
He has gone from a mate to a bore.
Any thoughts?

He is 33 so I expect that he would be a bit more mature than this.
And a mummy's boy with a few sisters all who adore him to the extreme

You want him, don’t you!

Yes I want him ...to back off after I figure out how to deal with this rubbish.
Thanks for answering though!

I’m related to someone exactly the same. Think it’s narcissism. Only solution is to avoid them.

IME, it's a reflection of a very self-involved person.

Are there other signs eg selfishness, inability to see other's perspectives?

Watch carefully.....

I know someone like this, thankfully only online. Tedious as hell. Just ignore.

Ugh. I've just got rid of one that would preen and brag incessantly once I'd given him the slightest compliment.

If I cooked a meal, he would be nice and say thank you.
If he cooked a meal, I would say it was lovely and say thank you.
Then he would say, 'oooh yes, it really was good wasn't it. I haven't cooked you a bad meal yet have I? I really am a good cook and know exactly what you like' waffle waffle.

It's a meal.

I'd also say 'aww thanks' when he did occasional thoughtful things, like bring me a coffee on his way to my house. Which would then launch him in to a monologue about how amazing/thoughtful/better than any other man I'd dated he was. Literally five minutes of bragging.

He could gush about himself ad nauseam. He had to be binned. If yours is a mate that might be trickier, I sympathise!

I knew someone like this. I’m afraid I ended up going NC because I could. I did put up with it for three years previously though and it cost me mutual friends (who indulged him).

Is he someone you have to see?

Would it be beyond the realms of reason to draw his awareness to it? I can imagine it grates on most people.

Ok firstly he is a very popular ,outgoing funny person.
Everybody loves him, type.
Privately while he is all of this, he is also selfish,spoilt , insensitive and definitely lacks social awareness at times. His words do not translate to actions normally.
He loves a good ego stroke and is genuinely
Only happy when his ego is being fed especially by women. He wants women to see that he is competent, intelligent, funny etc etc.
Once he sees that a woman can see through him, he will try to pull her back to his lair at all costs .
Any of this making sense? These women do not have to be romantic interests btw.
I'm
Pretty sure he isn't into women sexually.

Have you (or anyone else you know) told him he does this?

Have to see him everyday sadly. However my problem is that when I ignore him or brush his self congratulatory monologues aside, he hounds me.. boasting,looking for my admiration or praise.
I have kids already so I spend my evenings doing this, I don't want to do it at work
Too!

He sounds like a typical entitled man who's been socialised to think that the male voice is the important one. Totally tedious.

No I'm
Too much of a coward. He is very sensitive to his own feelings. Not so much to anyone else's.
It's like an imaginary circle around him
Exists where it is all about him
And when other people's feelings or troubles are concerned, he presents as caring and loving , says all the necessary , but there is no follow through in action.

My mum was married to someone like this - literally everything was about how wonderful he was and wanting validation for it. My grandad was very ill with cancer but it always had to be about him and his illnesses which were absolutely nothing in the scheme of things to that but he loved to exaggerate. He even had a CD of himself singing which he would force us all to listen to in his car, yes, really.

He wanted to buy people too so whilst completely incapable of understanding social interactions, thought he could buy affection but that made him 'own' people and they were indebted to him.
If its getting to you I'd lessen contact any way I could before he drained me!

Not all men are like this I know women too
I don’t exactly understand it but my mum is like this
It is insecurity and so draining
I tend to just nod along but make no comments

That's it. Draining. I find him
Draining.

I used to know someone like this. Thought i was the only one who could see through it. I think it stems from deep insecurity

So he’s a work colleague? Is it having a significant impact on your work? Could you have a conversation with someone senior about how to approach this as you are feeling hounded and drained at work?

Tread carefully, this sounds like narc territory. He's not getting his attention supply from you so gets more insistent until he does. It's easiest to be a bit more subtle in your dismissal of him- saves the drama.

Read up on grey rock, ways of being so boring he doesn't bother you, rather than the current situation where you are a challenge he needs to overcome.

My sister can be like this. I don't usually have to spend long periods of time in her company but when I do, I find my self feeling utterly drained and diminished as a person. Which is so sad, as she does have wonderful sides to her, but the constant self obsession and bigging herself up and never shutting up in front of an audience is unbearable. I think it is deep rooted insecurity in her case, although she acts like queen of the world.

Is it insecurity? I also know someone like this and I'm struggling to think of her as insecure. I was at her house last week and she has 52 pictures of herself displayed in her living room (I counted them while she was in the loo).

@ethelmayfergus 52 pictures??? ahahahahahahahahahaha oh my days I actually am laughing now.

OP, has anyone suggested the Grey Rock technique? If you haven't heard of it you might wish to google it. If you turn yourself into a boring grey rock they will eventually give up and seek their entertainment and validation elsewhere. It is surprisingly effective. I have used it in the past with a colleague who was insufferable. I grey rocked anything not to do with work.

I think it may be insecurity.
I feel like I'm the only
One that can see through him besides a mutual friend who thinks he is just spoilt but lovely.
He doesn't upset my work.
He is used to women fawning all over him and he absolutely thrives on it. I do not but the more I pull away the more he talks about how fabulous he is ! I'm Getting right allergic to him.
He is lovely but gosh is he self absorbed. Sometimes he leaves me wondering how in the name of god did he turn this conversation round to being about him? It's an art in itself!

How is this for a red flag.

After weeks of intense dating, I asked him what the colour of my eyes were.

He didn't know.

Reader, I married him.

So glad you want him to push off, @samsungite. So glad that your self preservation is kicking in!

These people are telling you who they are!

Luckily for me he is gay because I can only imagine what he is like with objects of his affection!