Man talking about himself ALL THE TIME.

[samsungite]

If he isnt talking about himself
Directly,he will manage to turn the conversation around to him.
Honestly, it may be the saddest,
Most cruel story of loss or death or murder but he will invariably turn it around to him. He is so unaware socially that he is doing this.
Now there is a history of just about every female close to him on his life thinking he is the bees knees. I do not however.
What's his story ?
I ignore and the more I ignore the more he follows me around trying to big himself up.
He has gone from a mate to a bore.
Any thoughts?

I'm struggling to understand why you care that much, OP?

Because I work in close proximity with a man who talks about himself all day long and does not get the message that it's draining even when I try to ignore him.a small
Space and a big ego .

God how life- sapping! Lucky he's only a workmate.

I spent nearly a year dating a bloke a bit like this and it was terrible for my MH. He was a bit different in that he wasn't a bragger but he was simply not interested in anything I had to say.

If possible he would start on something vaguely related that applied to him, but if nothing came to mind, he would just not reply. The nascent conversation would die on its arse. I ended up feeling so frustrated and unlistened- to.

He doesn't sound that lovely if he's always banging on about himself, I would be only engaging him about work and exiting any other conversations pretty swiftly.

Ah. Just seen update. Noise cancelling headphones?

That's interesting because recently a few of us went for lunch and there were a few conversations going on at the same time. As they came to a close, he addressed each conversation and applied it to himself! Incredible that he can listen to multiple conversations at the same time and have that speed to apply it to himself.
Even in group chat he is now ignored and he really is very lovely, I kind of feel sorry for him but am not comfortable saying anything to him.
If I strike up a chat with another male colleague , he doesn't like that as he likes to be top man.
I will look up grey rock .

@Feelingabitashamed haha I wish I could!

Has he noticed he is being ignored? If so, and you do otherwise like him, (with the caveat that I would not do this at work in case it backfired on me), how do you think he might react to being discreetly taken aside and told in a kind way how his behaviour comes across?

Bear in mind he has a whole chorus of sisters and aunts telling him he is perfect to compete with. I might consider seeing what the manager thought first or if they could maybe have a word. Only suggesting this as I know how maddening this behaviour can be.

My Dad is like this, it’s exhausting and I have very little contact with him as a result. I think it’s narcissism or certainly hugely self centred. The first time he met my DH he just spoke about himself the whole time, DH and I barely got a word in edgeways and this was the first time I had seen him for quite some time. He didn’t ask how I was or ask DH a single question about himself. I think the worst thing is my Dad really thinks he’s something he’s not so not only do you have to sit listening to him talk about himself for hours, it’s always self indulged egotistical twaddle. He thinks he’s going to make it big as a director, his acting career failed you see .

I don’t think this trait is exclusive to males, females can be just as guilty of it. Just don’t indulge this person, make excuses to walk away.

Yes it is maddening and boring but he is terribly nice as a person but just when you're enjoying a convo about anything frivolous, hell find a way.
Yes a bevvy Of adoring females in his family so perhaps that is why those who don't engage , get hounded for him to peacock

A friend of mine is like this. I actively avoid him at social gatherings now: I've had enough after years of him talking loudly and relentlessly about himself and how brilliant he is at really unremarkable things.

I did once find a way to shut him down. He was bragging about getting into shape (although he was far from what I'd call in shape). I enthusiastically described how my partner's been doing that, doing a lot of running and working out, and how strong he is, and how slim and incredible and fantastic he looks. I just kept on at it, turning the conversation back to the subject of my partner, saying nicer and nicer things about him. Loudmouth didn't have a lot to say after that. It was a bit mean, but hopefully he learned where shouting about himself will get him in future.

I do find these people bloody boring and exhausting. I'm so sorry you have to work with one.

Sounds like a narcissist. They’re unbearable to be around and totally drain your energy.

I'm not sure I get the dynamic- it seems you have been "sucked in" a bit as you keep describing him as lovely, nice etc. And you've spent so long working out his motivations, writing essays about him in your head. Why are you bothered? Just do your job, talk to him about work and just say "mm" absently to everything else.

It feels like you think you can change him or something.

I work with someone exactly like this. I don’t entertain the behaviour and really can’t understand why people find it funny / adorable, but many do. ‘Preen’ is a very good word for what these people do. Not impressing me, sunshine!

You are describing my exH perfectly, OP. He is a tiresome, self-obsessed tedious man, but he is desperate for everyone to admire and love him.

You are giving your selfish bore too much headspace. I wonder why you describe him as "lovely", though, when absolutely nothing in the behaviour you describe is lovely. Is it just that he's good-looking and a bit flirty, and makes you laugh?

We had someone like this at work. Utterly draining. But once they left a few remarks from colleagues told me we hadn't all fallen under his spell and others found him just as exhausting and tedious. I agree with grey rock. And try to work out why you care so much...

I find that letting them finish, heaving a sigh and then saying ‘Well, as Sarah was saying several minutes ago...’ or ‘Are we done/Can we get back to work?’ gets results. But if you don’t work directly with him, noise-cancelling headphones might be easier and as effective.

I care because I work in close quarters with him.
When we originally became friends he was never as self absorbed. He took what seemed to be genuine interest in everything people would say. He seemed earnest.
Until he got comfortable with everyone a d then we saw how words and actions didn't follow and he regaled is continuously with stories of himself and his achievements.
I have considered transfer but I do live my job.
Starting grey rock from today although it makes Mei un comfortable as I am naturally chatty and outgoing. It feels rude.

My sister is like this. It’s utterly exhausting. Honestly, it’s not worth it. Distance yourself.

He sounds a self-important bore.

These types of people very rarely have insight.

Perhaps he was on his best behaviour to start with & now the mask is beginning to slip.

Definitely distance yourself.

Oh. What a narcissistic, little brat. Stay clear and and refuse to show interest.