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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

If my boyfriend says ...

36 replies

Beccacats1991 · 09/02/2020 22:35

‘I’m going before I say something I regret’

Should I be offended by this? I don’t know what to make of it apart from I’m very hurt :(

OP posts:
HalfBiscuit · 09/02/2020 22:37

Completely depends on the context. What was happening before that?

LouisaJenny · 09/02/2020 22:43

A little more context is needed OP.

Jane1978xx · 09/02/2020 22:43

If you are having a minor argument I think it’s ok he does that and does he leave the home or just your company ?

BuffaloCauliflower · 09/02/2020 22:46

Context important. If he’s ducking out of a silly pointless argument (we all have them with our partners sometimes) to deescalate it, that’s a mature thing to do. Something else...? You tell us

DailyKegelReminder · 09/02/2020 22:49

Because you cooked something he doesn't like - be offended.

Because you're in the middle of a blazing row and nothing productive is going to come from each other - reasonable IMO.

Original poster
Beccacats1991 · 09/02/2020 22:50

Hi he had been snapping at me all day. He was shouting at his little girl and he was really high rate and ripped her homework up infront of her face so I tried to help be saying come on darling we can do the homework and he just snapped at me. Baring in mind he had been in a mood all day anyway. I spoke to him about it on the phone when I got home and he said ‘I’m going before I say something I regret’ Cos I asked him to stop talking down to me :(

OP posts:
DailyKegelReminder · 09/02/2020 22:52

Well obviously in this case hes an arsehole.

LovingLola · 09/02/2020 22:53

He’s horrible
Ditch him

TheoriginalLEM · 09/02/2020 22:55

He ripped his dd's homework up? What an actual cunt

RightOnTheEdge · 09/02/2020 22:55

I think you should be more offended at him abusing his little girl!
How can you even want to be with a man like this?
Ripping up her homework in her face, shouting at her and being irate!
He sounds like an absolute arse hole.
That poor little thing Sad

YasssKween · 09/02/2020 23:51

How are you not more concerned about the fact he ripped up his child's homework in front of their face? That poor little girl. Sorry OP, he's a bully. Bet he wouldn't shout at a grown man like that. Coward.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 09/02/2020 23:54

Bullying prick

FlowerArranger · 10/02/2020 05:24

I hope he only has his daughter EOW. Is the mother aware that he is abusing their daughter?

I'm aghast that your main concern seems to be that you are feeling hurt...

Bananalanacake · 10/02/2020 07:46

It's easier to end it if you don't live with him.

user18463585026 · 10/02/2020 07:57

His poor daughter.

combatbarbie · 10/02/2020 07:58

I'd be more concerned at him ripping up the homework

JorisBonson · 10/02/2020 08:22

That comment is what you're worried about?

He ripped up his childs homework in front of her face and you're worried about one comment.

Jesus. Why are you with this horrible person?

KundaliniRising · 10/02/2020 08:27

I think that you should inform the girls mother and her school about the abuse that your hopefully xdp has been directing at her.

Ripping up her homework ffs

He is a nasty man

Teedeepie · 10/02/2020 08:28

I agree with others. You should be more concerned and upset by his treatment of his daughter. What an absolute shit to do that to her. It would be the end for me regardless, after a chat with her mum first.

JorisBonson · 10/02/2020 08:34

OP has posted before about this man being controlling and violent and giving her an STI.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 10/02/2020 08:46

You should be glad he left so you didn't need to be in the nasty bastards presence.

poopbear · 10/02/2020 08:56

Why are you with this man?
He ripped her homework up! Now you know why the daughters mother dumped him. Are you just going to let this slide? You’re now on here worrying about the context of what he meant rather than focusing on what’s important. His behaviour. Why are you even trying to talk to him. You should be putting your foot down “your behaviour towards your daughter was disgusting. I’m informing her mother. You’re an abuser and you need professional help. Don’t contact me or my family again” and mean it. Where’s your backbone woman!! Are you THAT desperate you’d let this slide!

gottastopeatingchocolate · 10/02/2020 09:01

@JorisBonson - different man.

OP, You need to focus on the child's welfare and report to someone. End the relationship. Do the Freedom programme again.

JorisBonson · 10/02/2020 09:05

My mistake @gottastopeatingchocolate

GiveHerHellFromUs · 10/02/2020 09:09

Is this the same boyfriend you said you were splitting up with just after Xmas?