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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

something fishy going on?

32 replies

chocandwine91 · 07/02/2020 22:05

Hello, I wonder if anyone can offer me some advice please. Me & my boyfriend have been together for four years, two years in I found out he had kissed a family friend & they sent explicit pictures to each other. I stupidly got back with him even though I knew I'd never truly get over it. Anyway last week I got home from work, he called me saying he wouldn't be much longer and that he had to go to a customers house to give a quote for some work. He got home at 3am..... the next morning I said no way were you at a customers house (who you've never met) until the early hours. He said he was and they were chatting about the plans! Am I being paranoid because of my trust issues or is he lying again? My friend says to act normal and try to get more information, like snoop on his phone but it's thumb print protected. Thank you for reading, any advice is appreciated.

OP posts:
ellelikespizza · 07/02/2020 22:11

3am?! What time did he go to the house? What is his profession...? It does seem very strange OP I have to be honest

latheritup · 07/02/2020 22:13

Sounds like a lie

notthisshitagain · 07/02/2020 22:15

What's his job? What time did he go there?

Not that I think it really matters

Longsight2019 · 07/02/2020 22:15

Follow your gut. He’s lying for sure.

DBML · 07/02/2020 22:31

I can’t think of a single situation, where I’d be discussing business with a man at 3am. Well, not a conventional business...so unless your bf is a male prostitute, I doubt he’s telling the truth.

Original poster
chocandwine91 · 07/02/2020 22:32

My gut is telling me he is up to something. He would have got to her house about 7pm.

OP posts:
namechange1041 · 08/02/2020 02:51

Definitely upto something fishy 🐠

Yeahnah2020 · 08/02/2020 02:58

He’s definitely lying.

BitOfFun · 08/02/2020 03:01

Apart from anything else, it's extremely unprofessional to stay that long at a lone female client's home.

As for the 'anything else', well, he's obviously bullshitting you.

Don't waste any more time on him, and remember that you don't need proof of his infidelity to end the relationship. Feeling disrespected, played for a fool, and dubious about his trustworthiness is more than enough.

CassidyStone · 08/02/2020 03:02

Sounds like a lie to me too. Do you know this 'customer' of his?

Hidingtonothing · 08/02/2020 03:06

You don't need to see his phone OP, he's done it before and he hasn't even had the decency to come up with a convincing lie. Treat yourself with more respect than he's treating you and walk away with your head held high. You can do better than him Flowers

Original poster
chocandwine91 · 08/02/2020 03:32

I don't know this 'customer'.
Well I tried to bite my tongue but I caved and asked to see his phone - he refused, so I said what have you got to hide? He then admitted to the texts being flirty and ending with kisses. I asked if anything happened while he was with her he said they talked for hours and he see's her as a friend.
I'm so stupid, his done it again to me. People told me he would but I had hope

OP posts:
Weffiepops · 08/02/2020 04:00

Total lie!! 3am??? He was up to no good and you know it. Sort out your exit strategy

MsDogLady · 08/02/2020 04:03

I’m sorry, OP. Walk away from this lying, cheating loser. You deserve so much better.

dontgobaconmyheart · 08/02/2020 04:11

Just dump him OP, this is no life and he's full of it. He'll just talk you around indefinitely. He wouldn't have even been there of an evening if the 'customer' was a man let's face it. Sorry he's such a dick OP Flowers

sunshineskymoon · 08/02/2020 04:25

Not only is he probably lying, he also must think you are pretty gullible!
Who even comes back at 3am and expects their girlfriend to understand? That is not acceptable in any ways

RantyAnty · 08/02/2020 07:04

He's a lying cheat. That's all you need to know. Plan to leave or kick him out and put an end to this bs.

bank100 · 08/02/2020 07:26

He is lying. You don't trust him, And so you shouldn't!

PennyGold · 08/02/2020 07:36

He's obviously cheating, and obviously an idiot. Who would believe that?! It's as if he wants you to find out, who would be at a customers house until 3AM?!

Weejo39 · 08/02/2020 07:45

8 hrs at a customer's house whom he had flirty txts with!? Ok, time to chuck his cheating ass out once and for all. HmmFlowers

Oulu · 08/02/2020 07:58

Time to move on, OP. You simply can't trust him and there is no future in this.

mildlymiffed · 08/02/2020 08:03

Honestly- you have him a chance, don't give him another. Even if he's not having a physical affair he's having an emotional one. You're worth more than this. Hold your head up high and say goodbye.

Livandme · 08/02/2020 08:14

Get rid

Mummyzzz044 · 08/02/2020 08:24

Once a cheat always a cheat. I'm so sorry for you. My mum always tells me to listen to my gut feelings. Never been wrong.

Robin2323 · 08/02/2020 08:43

I don't buy into once a cheat always a cheat.

However not to hot on the idea of men having female friends either.

I used to have make friends when I was younger and they all try and hit on me.

Just taking / having close intimate chats with ow for 8 hours is far worse than a drunken shag with no feelings

I'd have a calm chat asking why he needs this close female friend ship and if he utter the words 'I'm allow to have female friends' - toe - boot - backside etc.

Trust needs to be earnt in any relationship and this guy is already on probation.

A bit of space between you both at the very least / show him you won't tolerate this rubbish.

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