Somethign Casual

[NewtoThis2020]

So texting / sexing a guy on a dating app.
He's happy to meet, having a drink in a public place and that's all that's been agreed to.
He's keen to get me to his flat but a) I'm not sure how to progress, we both know what we want but what happens first time?
B) worried about my privacy / paranoid about camera / filming
C) I don't like the fact that I'm not in control if I go to his place

I can't meet him at mine, definitely no no.
So what do others do?

@NewtoThis2020 You’re all set then! Nobody ever gets raped or murdered on a second “date”!

You still don’t know this guy very well.

But that's what you're looking for, no? Sexting a guy you've never met then forest meeting him at his house.. that equates to looking for a shag. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with casual sex if that's what you want, but don't miss yourself it's a date!

*kid not miss

D'oh! *First not forest

May be if we'd had the time may be if we both wanted may be it would have happened! It was meant to be coffee!

Like I said, I trusted my gut instinct and this time it was right and I'm pretty sure it will be right the next time as well.

But it didn't hurt have all the views and thoughts. It's good to be cautious.

I’m really surprised that someone who claims to be 46 can act in such a foolish way.

Why do you think your “ instinct “ is worth more than all the advice from the police, dating websites, community safety organisations, women’s charities etc?

On the off chance it is real, I strongly suggest you order a vibrator online with next day delivery.

Listen to your gut, you don't feel comfortable so don't do it, wait until you feel ready

I had a phone call and discussed it all, agreeing what we were after and for how long, what kind of sex (I.e. not rough or BDSM) and we were going to take it in turns to pay for the radisson.

Hi OP theres nothing wrong with wanting something casual 😁 however a decent casual partner will be happy to meet for coffee and chat. I would have made clear no sex on first meeting. If you like him then after that first meeting I'd start going to his place. Any bad vibes and I'd move on to the next. There are LOADS of men looking for casual sex, you can afford to be choosy.

It's good to be cautious. Hahaha.

OP: I'm going to do a foolish thing
Everyone: Don't do foolish thing!
OP: I did foolish thing. I'm fine. Isn't it good to be cautious?
Everyone: ...

But it didn't hurt have all the views and thoughts. It's good to be cautious.

...you weren't cautious.

You ignored all the advice and acted recklessly.

You got lucky.

@Cherryade8 thanks, yes you are correct favour plenty out there.

It's done, and I won't be doing the same again with someone new. So the advice had not been wasted.
I also needed to prove to myself as much as anyone that my instinct could be right.
We are still talking!

Try lower stakes than your physical safety.

I also needed to prove to myself as much as anyone that my instinct could be right.

This is a terrifying way to behave when it comes to risk assessment.

I really hope you continue to be lucky but also that you make better decisions in future.

Please read some Peter James' books.

You'd never in a million years put yourself in such a vulnerable position.

OP I assumed you were meeting in a public place and were after advice about discussing the ins and outs. I obviously hadn't read your updates. You should never meet a stranger at their home! Always first meeting in public!

You got lucky. It has nothing to do with instincts.