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Original poster

I feel very uncomfortable when people say my boyfriend is "punching"

49 replies

duckingterrified · 05/02/2020 21:42

So, this tends to happen to me now and again, where people will say my boyfriend is "punching above his weight" by being with me. I think it's supposed to make me feel flattered but it actually really depresses me. My boyfriend doesn't even care and he even jokes about it himself how I'm out of his league, but it's not funny to me. Whenever someone says that it makes me feel like they're saying we look wrong together. It's even worse when new people say it, because they barely know us and it's like they can see we're not a good match right away.

I know I shouldn't care what people think, but I really want people to like us as a couple and say we look good together. I think it's because an "ex" friend of mine was horrible to me as soon as I got with him, saying I was stringing him along and that we were incompatible and ever since then I feel like I've been trying to prove myself and prove her wrong.

The truth is, we make each other happy and I don't think I'm out of his league. I don't like people saying he's uglier than me or I can do better because he's the sweetest, most caring guy ever and I don't understand why people even say that? Don't they realise it's not making anybody feel good?

OP posts:
Whatnowagnes · 05/02/2020 21:50

It's one of those cringy phrases innit from the lil man, #blessed making memories brigade!

Smile and ignore them. No one knows anything about others relationships. You'd be mad to give it much thought.

Enjoy your relationship.

LolaMontezSoBeautiful · 05/02/2020 22:21

Look, sometimes the fact is is one partner can be way more attractive than the other. People are bound to notice and comment, even though it's none of their business.
It doesn't mean you're not good together, or make each other happy. So stop worrying about what other people think. Does it really matter?

Sunbeam18 · 05/02/2020 22:23

#humblebrag

Krazynights34 · 05/02/2020 22:31

I don’t mean to be rude but I’m guessing you are pretty young. That sort of comment wouldn’t go down well with most people, but seems to occur mostly in younger folk.
It’s mean - to your boyfriend.
I can only suggest if anyone says it again you tell them to fuck off. Your choice of person - he makes you happy end of!

WhichBin · 05/02/2020 22:34

It’s a shit phrase.

I had random couple of strangers in a pub argue with me when my DH turned up, as they didn’t believe we were together. One of them proceed to scorn DH and tell him he was “punching above his weight” which enraged me further. I was livid. It was such a cruel way to behave to people you don’t know.

I don’t have answers but I do sympathise with you as I’ve had it said about us a few times over the years. We’re still going strong so it doesn’t phase me now.

Remember, you can’t change people’s opinions about you, so don’t even bother trying.

Original poster
duckingterrified · 05/02/2020 22:36

Sunbeam18 -- what's the point in bragging to people who can't even see me or who will ever know me IRL?

Krazynights34 -- I'm 29, and yes I thought so too but my boyfriend actually doesn't seem to mind, he agrees with them all..it's me who it bothers because I feel like they're insulting him and I chose him, so essentially they're insulting me.

OP posts:
TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 05/02/2020 22:39

It's just something 'lads' say. I wouldn't take it to heart.

BruceAndNosh · 05/02/2020 22:43

Just tell them that you actually think YOU are the lucky one.

JKScot4 · 05/02/2020 22:43

Just wink and say ‘he’s a man of many talents’ 😉🤣

ScarlettBlaize · 05/02/2020 22:43

www.reddit.com/r/humblebrag/

Camopetals · 05/02/2020 22:46

Tell them he has a massive cock. That'll shut em up.

YicketyYackMamasBack · 05/02/2020 22:48

I’ve had this.

I’ve also had “how did a guy like him get a girl like you?!” 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

I hate it, it makes me feel sad and angry. What an insult to my OH! I almost feel like making a snide comment about them being an ugly person.

That or just telling them to feck off.

Rude bastards.

WhichBin · 05/02/2020 22:52

Tell them he has a massive cock. That'll shut em up

I actually have used this line Grin

Camopetals · 05/02/2020 23:01

I actually have used this line grin

Me too, I've been getting 'punching' comments for years and it gets very tiring - so if they're willing to make me uncomfortable then I'm willing to make them uncomfortable!

Ohyesiam · 05/02/2020 23:01

Because it’s only complete twats who say such stupid things, it’s really easy to ignore them.
Just reach for his hand, give him a secret smile and say “ It’s a sex thing”.

rainbowlou · 05/02/2020 23:02

I’ve had this a few times but the other way round.
It makes me feel like utter shit!
My husband is a few years younger than me and I’ve heard comments over the years on nights out.
At my wedding some friends from work came to the evening do (all v glam and young compared to me!) and they’d never met my husband.
They all told me Immediately they couldn’t believe that OMG-HE was MY husband and they assumed the best man was (Best man was a bit shorter and plumper but a lovely, funny and gorgeous man in my opinion!)
I’ve been married for 11 years and it still upsets me!

tenlittlecygnets · 05/02/2020 23:04

Are you really friends with multiple people who would say such a rude, gauche and inappropriate thing?? I'd get new friends.

rainbowlou · 05/02/2020 23:13

Not sure who you’re question is to tenlittlecygnets but if it’s me? No, I’m no longer friends with any of them.
I apologise if you were asking someone else.

user1481840227 · 05/02/2020 23:50

People say this all the time. It's really not that big a deal, and most men don't take it as an insult.

They kind of touched on this tonight in love island lol
Some of thee lads said they like to feel like they're punching....but securely punching lol..so they are happy with it as long as they feel safe in the relationship.

Men can take this as a compliment sometimes, it's an ego thing, if others think they are punching then that means they're such a great man that they managed to win over a woman who's better than them!

It may have occasionally crossed my mind that sometimes in a couple there is one who might be far more attractive than the other, but it's a fleeting thought, the couples that I think look great together are the ones who look happy together and look like they're having fun and you can just tell by the way they look at each other how they feel about each other! It's definitely not about looks!

CassidyStone · 06/02/2020 05:04

Ignore them. They sound really juvenile. Personality over looks anyday.
Beauty fades over time, a good character doesn't.

florababy84 · 06/02/2020 05:21

I'd be annoyed by that too. It's like they're insulting your lovely DH as well as reducing your value to your looks. A very unnecessary comment that benefits nobody.

I also don't think this post is a humblebrag.

SleepingStandingUp · 06/02/2020 05:25

Agree I'd just make a comment about his penis or his performance in bed.

You just have to ignore it tho, people say all sorts of stupid crap, you can just to let it bother you, respond, oret it go.

bingbangbing · 06/02/2020 05:37

I think you need to work on your self esteem.

Wanting to 'look good as a couple' is a bit strange.

Mrsmorton · 06/02/2020 05:51

This actually ruined a relationship of mine, sowed doubt where none was necessary. Good luck.

LemonTT · 06/02/2020 07:08

I am not sure that I would be comfortable being around someone who took an sleight against me as an insult to them. It comes to something when someone has an ego so big they don’t even let you own your insults.

Your partner isn’t a function of you.