Have you ever ghosted someone

[neverornow]

And if so, why? What reasons were there to justify it in your mind?

No, I find it utterly gutless tbh.

I have been on the receiving end and it really was quite awful.

Yes. Range of reasons. Sometimes I just couldn’t be bothered to respond. Sometimes, usually following instances where I hadn’t ghosted and had been given a load of abuse for daring to reject them, just because it was easier. But, I don’t mind being ghosted myself to be honest. It’s no big deal.

@ItFigures I agree. I personally couldn't do it to someone but curious as to how people can justify it, especially when knowing that the other person will be very hurt.

Sorry it happened to you did you manage to get some closure?

Yes I have because I felt like I couldn't cope with things at the time, but sure it is a rotten thing to do.

It took a while OP and for the longest time I blamed myself. Now I see it was my disordered ex and his psychotic ex that were to blame not me.

I’m happier now than I’ve ever been so you can definitely move past it.

No as I feel it's mean. I'd hate for someone to do it to me so why do it to them.
It's a horrible and gutless way to be

I did. He was an abusive thieving cunt and didn't deserve any justification from me.

If he'd bothered to consider his own behaviour he would have known exactly why I chose to ghost him.

I did once after about 6 dates because he got a bit creepy.

Same as DeSpair. It's not about justifying it it's just about reasons.
Theres been a few, just not feeling it. That you talk to them and it's not there. I know pretty much within a couple of days of talking whether I'm feeling it or not. I dont think after a couple of days it warrants an explanation. If I was seeing someone, multiple dates in I probably wouldnt do it. Unless I got a dic pic, that never deserves a response, but on a casual basis sometimes it just isn't happening.
I have in the past tried to explain and got a shed load of abuse so I'd rather not bother now.
I dont think it's a big deal the other way round either. Obviously if we were at the exclusive dating stage so weeks and weeks in I would want (and provide) a 'this isn't really working but take care' text. But until then na I would just assume he wasnt feeling it and leave it that.

Yes , I have. My alcoholic friend.Ghosting him felt like the right thing to do at the time because he was so messed up, but when I learned about his death, I knew that I had been a coward.

I was ghosted by one of my best friends who was my bridesmaid. It was shit, not least because I didn’t get the jist for months- I kept liking her pics on Instagram and sending her texts and stuff, just like I always had, for years. And wondering why there was never any reply. And then the penny dropped eventually after a mutual friend visited our town and she had to arrange to meet us separately.

Anyway, it urned out it was because she had had a miscarriage and I was then pregnant- she just couldn’t deal with it. She eventually came clean about two years later and has never apologised but I wouldn’t have expected her to- she must have been feeling horrific and was doing whatever she had to to cope.

So we are friends again now that she has had her son but I really struggle to trust her - it wouldn’t occur to me to ask her for help if I needed it and I’m always scared I will say or do something wrong. It’s horrible learning that you are dispensable to someone close and that they have thought negatively of you. But i wish her well and all of that.

Anyway sorry about all of that!

Someone I'd been chatting to for a few weeks (OLD) and met once who was displaying too many red flags. I explained a few times I wasn't ready to date and I needed to not be dating but he didn't get the hint. I ignored his (frequent) messages for about a week and then blocked him via text. He then added me via Whattsapp and tried to message me that way so I blocked him there too. I hate ghosting and it's not nice but sometimes it's the only option when someone won't take no for an answer and you're worried they may end up being a crazy stalker ☹️

Yep. Mainly because the guy turned weird and a bit creepy and I was concerned that he’d get angry or aggressive if I ended it in the usual way. The only other time I’ve done it was after a few text conversations that were just going nowhere and it wasn’t a big deal to ghost. I don’t normally do it but sometimes ghosting is the safest, least stressful option.

I have both ghosted, and been a ghostee.

Being ghosted is shit - there is always that question of 'what have I done?'

On the occasion I ghosted, it was with a friend who really wasn't nice to me at all. She derived pleasure from constantly putting me down, and if I spoke to her about it, she would just use it against me.

I just cut her out, and she stalked me for the best part of a year demanding an explanation, which I refused to provide as I knew she would try to belittle my feelings.

So, I know it's not a nice thing to do, but sometimes it's the best thing to do.

Well some very valid reasons. I think ghosting a horrible thieving ex or someone you've only know briefly via OLD is ok, doesn't really even qualify as ghosting in my mind.

It's the friends who ghost their long term, close friend in a 'here today, gone tomorrow' way with the other person having no clue.
Like you said @BrexitBingoGenerator about not realising at first, I feel like a right tit now knowing they were probably rolling their eyes when I sent a funny meme and texts suggesting that we catch up

@BrexitBingoGenerator I had one of my bridesmaids ghost me just over a year ago. Haven’t heard from her since. Like you I was cheerfully still sending texts etc. before realising she wasn’t responding. I’m still devastated. I have absolutely no idea what I’ve done and she won’t speak to me

Yes I have.

Yes, in my late teens and very early 20’s.

Unfortunately yes on OLD, I have mistaken a very brief thing fizzling out for them actually feeling left hanging so I try to be more careful.

It's difficult though, once after one date I got a really long text kindly explaining how nice i was but that the chap felt no 'spark'. It was totally mutual but I would have preferred him just to leave it as I had not indicated I was keen to see him again.

I ghosted a female friend as she was an utter bitch on holiday. I gave her ample time to ask what was wrong though and discuss it but she never did, just kept sending cheerful messages as though her behaviour had never happened so I blocked for my own sanity.

I have recently - well actually it was 2mths ago - ghosted my FWB.

Having said that - I took him to task about him sending me a mysogynist "joke" so I doubt it was a big surprise when I stopped replying

I don't know if this counts but I have gradually stopped talking to a friend because I felt our lives were diverging and she didn't have much time for me. I didn't want to have a "talk" as I was worried it would seem confrontational and didn't want to burn my bridges.

Unfortunately, yes I have.
2 short term Ex's.
My life was bad at the time dealing with grief and I couldn't face talking to them.
I tried to explain and both were very 'stalkery' so I had to block, ignore and delete them in the end.
No amount of explaining was working so had to ghost in the end.

...in a 'here today, gone tomorrow' way with the other person having no clue.

I suspect this is actually very rare in friendships. It's far more likely that the warning signs have been there but one person has not (or chosen not to) read them, or an inability to realise that their actions have consequences. Probably partly through being self absorbed, either conscious or not. Another cause is naturally drifting apart and one person mistaking that for ghosting.

I know we all think we're faultless, and if you started a thread on here about how you'd been ghosted you probably be encouraged to believe that it's "100% them OP, you sound lovely".

I ghosted a friend many years ago. I had a good friend from uni who in many ways was lovely but also mad and very judgemental and difficult. After several years of her toxic behaviour I just ghosted her. I feel very ashamed especially as she confronted me and asked me if she'd done something wrong. That was my opportunity to explain why. But I was a coward and made some lame excuses. I will never treat someone like that again. It's always better to explain why you don't want someone in your life.

A lot of people have done it to me. I put it down to jealousy if honest. But it's their loss.