Cut him out of my life?

[Tash171]

A Close Male friend had a off/off girlfriend for many years, we worked together at the time nothing ever happened but we are very good friend have a laugh everyone commented on us many times over.
During one of the breaks we did have sex but it was quite clear things were still not done.
However, they final called it a day around 6 months ago, I always thought if they were over we would give things a go so quite devastated he’s started seeing a total WAG fake tits, arse from turkey ect, quite clear she sees the money aspects of his life as we work in quite a lucrative sector. But he's given her everything I ever wanted :(
Do I cut him out of my life? No one gets me like he does, he called me last week for 5-6 hours that just how well we get on, he’s recently got a new car and I have purchased a new house he’s dying to see.. but I don’t think I can see him without knowing he’s chosen someone else

This situation sounds very hurtful OP, I think you should at least distance yourself from him but preferably block him and his WAG girlfriend. Why is he ringing you for 5-6 hours at a time? If you got on that well he'd want you to be his girlfriend wouldn't he. Whatever it is he's not interested in your romantically but he knows you like him loads so he's happy to keep you around for an ego boost. So sorry

Wow, that's a vile way to talk about another person.

Cut him off.

He just used you during a break.

Just to be clear, shes quite local to me.. so I know the "type" she goes for also know her ex quite well as he also works in our sector.
:( maybe I'd be better with him out of
My life

WAG, fake tits, arse from turkey is a disgusting way to refer to another person. This might be why he’s not interested.

She had a guy pay for her tits in return for access.. so just calling a spade a spade

Get rid of him. He doesn’t want to date you but is happy to lean on you for support? Nope.

Don't waste any more time on him.

He's the one who hurt you, though. You don't need to take it out on her.

Yer I don't think he deserves anymore of my time, much a it would hurt to lose him as a friend he's made his choice clear regardless of who she is at least she's shown me what I mean to him

Look, I know I hurts like a bastard but his actions, knowing exactly how you feel about him just shows you where his head is. You're an ego boost. He probably does like you very much, but the buzz he gets from you adoring him, he isn't going to risk.

Tell him you friendship is no longer making you happy and you've decided that it's probably best to keep some distance between you for a while. If hes a proper friends he'll respect that.

I don’t understand what he’s done wrong to be honest. He’s a friend, it doesn’t sound as if he’s ever given the impression he’d want to be in a relationship with you or misled you that way - casual sex on the rebound with a friend doesn’t mean they see you in a romantic or potential partner way. We don’t live in the nineteenth century, women have sexual agency and you were free to decline the sex if you only wanted it inside a secure relationship with him.

He clearly likes the “WAG-look” and presumably is old enough to decide whether a woman is only after his money or not and if he cares if she only is. If you’re upset because you’d like more with him and are now realising he doesn’t see you I that way you’d be right to do so for your own wellbeing, but it’s a bit much to act as though he’s done something terribly wrong simply in not wanting a relationship with you.

Yer as least I know no matter how many times he's said he loves me and has even proposed (when under the influence and I was dating someone) but he's shown that's hes willing to spend his time with her and actually make an effort that he just wants to know I'm still going be around.

I think you may need to consider what work you need on you. Not cosmetic, but in terms of maturity. It’s a poor role to cast yourself in, besotted best friend and always available.

Does he actually know that you see him as relationship material and hoped/expected to get together with him one day? Maybe he sees you as nothing more than a good friend with occasional benefits and would be shocked to know you feel this way. If he does and has gone off with someone else, then I suppose that’s tactless of him to be careless with your feelings, but maybe he genuinely sees you just in the friend zone, however great you get on.

To him you were clearly a FWB quick fling and nothing more. It wouldn't really matter who he chose for his next girlfriend, the crux of the matter is that he didn't choose you. Sorry and all that, but he's just not that into you.

To be fair he did seem a little shocked, as when he said to me about her we had probably the most honest conversation about our friendship

Think I need to wish him the best and be glad he's shown me what I really mean to him by dating her

Good thinking @tash171

He really doesn't deserve you.

You know the best revenge is to live a brilliant life. Enjoy.

Just tell him you think the friendship has run its course and you need to spend more time focusing on other things in your life. Sounds like he enjoys the adoration he gets from you and that's not working for you any more.

I bet he's fond of you and your adoration but you are just back-up.

Very hurtful when you really like him but he's not got your interests at heart.

You need to cut him off and focus on the next stage of your life.

It's hurts but you'll get over it if you give yourself time and space.

💐

Why are you being so rude about this girl when she's done nothing wrong OP?

Guess just hurts that that's what he chose to spend his time with her :(

Just cut him loose. You need to start spending time on you (and your kids if you have them) and less on this guy. He takes up a lot of your time. It's not healthy. It's best to make a clean break from this by telling him the friendship's run its course, you need to spend more time focusing on other things, you wish him all the best in the future and goodbye.

Thanks all!
It's really silly I bought the house of my dreams, this should be an insanely happy time but I have let him really upset me yet again.
I will be cutting all contact, don't need him using me like this anymore.

To be honest it doesn't sound like he knows you were expecting a relationship between you and him once he broke up with his ex.