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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Can my husband find out about my hidden savings?

73 replies

Healthkick9 · 01/02/2020 12:27

I have substantial savings in bank accounts and funds that my husband is not aware of. The reasons for the secrecy are aside from the fact that he handles money poorly and would go wild if he knew about these amounts, he is also abusive. (Not quite physical, but emotionally, verbally, throwing things etc). I don't intend to leave, but I know it is not in my best interests to have him know about this money.

He is self employed and has his own business. I know that he has to fill out all kinds of things for the HMRC, and I am concerned that there may be some kind of request from them in relation to any interest earned on my savings? I am not listed on his business at all, but I don't know if they do ask for things like this? We have one joint bank account with minimal money in.

I know trust is everything in a marriage, and I would never have envisioned lying to my husband. But unfortunately he lies to me and hides things from me all the time, and so now I have to think with my head rather than my heart.

OP posts:
BillieEilish · 01/02/2020 14:04

Not a bank account, some sort of investment thing.

Because he is horrid and thinks I'm stupid!

Elieza · 01/02/2020 14:09

What’s keeping you in the relationship? Are you afraid people will talk about you or are you very religious or something? Do you fear loneliness and do you have friends? What’s in it for you to stay?

Send to me that leaving would be your better option?

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 01/02/2020 14:13

Holy shit BillieEilish, I’m so glad you’ve kept that knowledge from him. Did you take down all the details and cover your tracks. It sounds like he’s either making plans to leave or is waiting for a ‘better offer’ to come along. That might not be he lonely money he has stashed. Do you have children? If I were you I would make sure you have all the paperwork that you might need, such as passports, birth certificates, copies of financial records, etc, in case of a breakup. If you have somewhere out if the house to store them, that’s even better. Don’t wait until it’s too late. You can update the paperwork on a regular basis.

BillieEilish · 01/02/2020 14:14

Elieza, I am sorry, I have inadvertently hijacked the thread.

The OP is hiding money and asks what will happen.
I don't think you can hide money in the event of a divorce.

Wigglefish123 · 01/02/2020 14:16

"Interest rates are so low that unless you have millions you are unlikely to get enough interest to be taxed."

Not actually true @leckford....if you are a tax payer anyway from employment and have more than around £100k you are likely to have to pay tax on it...assuming its not in an ISA

Fairylea · 01/02/2020 14:18

Well in theory everything is half and half in a divorce but plenty of people do take out £250 a day or whatever the limit is from time to time and stash it somewhere once they know there’s no going back..... Wink

BillieEilish · 01/02/2020 14:23

Thanks TOtallyFuckedup

Yes, I have all details. He does not want the relationship to end...
Which is interesting.
We live in Spain.
He is 20 years older than me, he is not planning an exit I don't think at all.
He is hidden it from day 1. (20 years ago)

Power I think, all about power.

OhioOhioOhio · 01/02/2020 14:24

I haven't read the whole thread but please leave him.

BillieEilish · 01/02/2020 14:25

Yes we have a DD. I can't leave the country Hmm

PlanDeRaccordement · 01/02/2020 14:37

Where did you get the “substantial amounts” of money OP? Why are you so worried about HMRC asking questions about his business costs?

Could it be because you’ve been embezzling money from your DHs business?

I have no objection to having a savings account in your sole name that is running away money BUT it should be money honestly earned.

sleepyhorse · 01/02/2020 14:42

If you are ever planning on leaving him, it might be an idea to transfer that money now to a close family member who you trust

SlapItOn · 01/02/2020 14:44

Don’t worry OP, your husband does not have to declare anything on his tax return in relation to your savings.

SlapItOn · 01/02/2020 14:46

@PlanDeRaccordement that’s one hell of a leap!

PlanDeRaccordement · 01/02/2020 14:52

Slapiton.....yes it is a leap but it was the OP who first linked her “savings” to his business monies in her original post. No one reasonable would think the two are linked in terms of tax returns.

So why on Earth did the OP link her savings to his business and then be concerned about HMRC?

There is no logic to the worry unless.....potentially some of her savings were skimmed off his business accounts?

Where did the money come from?

Pinkbonbon · 01/02/2020 15:04

You know your husband is abusive...and you have money...

Why the feck would you stay with him?!

I hope it's not some nonsense like 'because I love him' or 'for the children'. Because you know that's a pile of horseshit right!?

To do with your pension? What your family might think? Not wanting to move? - none of that is good enough reason to give up your freedom and stay with an abuser.

Seriously, if you have the means, gtf out a there!

goose1964 · 01/02/2020 15:13

If you're in Spain you need to check how Spanish divorces deal.with money.

MyuMe · 01/02/2020 15:17

No you don't!

OP says they live in Spain not that they are Spanish.

She can return home to the UK if that is where she is from, she will be classes as habitually resident if she makes the UK her home again and start divorce proceedings here

damnthatanxiety · 01/02/2020 15:19

OP, why are you staying with him?

user1497207191 · 01/02/2020 15:27

If they're "hidden", how would anyone know about them if you passed away? That's the trouble with online accounts etc - there's no "evidence" such as passbooks, statements etc., so an ever increasing amount of accounts/money just gets forgotten about, languising in dormant bank accounts, ultimately going to charity or the state.

I'd suggest the OP at least makes the solicitor aware and has a note of the bank accounts stored with her will, so the money won't get forgotten.

AcrossthePond55 · 01/02/2020 15:29

I have a friend who keeps her 'fuck off fund' in a safety deposit box in a bank different to the one they bank with so her husband doesn't find it. He once found around $100.00 in her underwear drawer and he went mad at her for 'hiding money'. She told him it was mine and that it had 'fallen out of my purse' & she'd put it there for 'safekeeping'. Needless to say I covered for her.

We're in the US, so if she opened a bank account with it she'd have to declare any interest paid to her on their joint tax return. But I understand that in the UK couples file individually.

BillieEilish · 01/02/2020 15:29

MyuMe I am so sorry, as I explained upthread, I hijacked for a second by mistake replying to a helpful poster. I am not the OP and the OP does not live in Spain as far as I know.

No though, I can't leave the country with my DD. DH Spanish, me not!

I really do believe OP you can't hide cash in a divorce, you would get into big trouble.

It is why they have financial forensic searches and why I am not worried and DH is! (I think)

MooseBeTimeForSummer · 01/02/2020 15:45

The Court requires full and frank financial disclosure. If he finds out later about you hiding money from a financial settlement he can go back to Court and ask the Judge to set the original order aside. More likely to happen if it’s substantial enough to buy a house as it would have had an impact on the original settlement.

HyacynthBucket · 01/02/2020 16:18

Could you find someone you absolutely trust, and transfer the money to their name on the understanding that it is still yours and will be repaid as soon as you ask for it? (perhaps by creating a trust so as to protect your money - a solicitor would be able to advise about creating a trust, and you would not need to tell them why you wanted one).Then you could get ahead as quickly as possible with a divorce, and get your money back. It is yours. Don't let him have it via a divorce settlement.

Oxfordnono12 · 01/02/2020 16:24

Why are you with an abusive man?

Afrigginggoat · 01/02/2020 16:35

I think this is where 'portable property' is helpful. Withdraw the money in cash and close the account. Take to good, reputable jewellers. Spend it on rings etc. The bigger the better. Ideally so big that people will assume its paste if you wear it.
Then bank deposit box in a new bank if you want to keep it there, put something in there your ex knows you have as a reason for the box or just mix in with your jewellery and hide in plain sight. Forensic financial searches will show you had the money but you no longer have it. You can say you drank it or gambled it or gave it to charity anonymously. And of course you still have the portable property to convert to cash as and when.