Hi, I have recently become single since October last year and thought I would try online dating as some of my friends have had some good luck on it and some married off from there too. So thought, ok give it a go!
I wanted to share this experience incase anyone comes up against someone similar to warn you and I am still pretty shocked and freaked out from internet dating since, but wont give it up completely just yet.
I dated a guy who is 4 years younger than me, (aged 40) lived about 30mins away and seemed normal. He was fit, funny, pretty cool and lovely to look at too and we seemed to share the love of the outdoors, more so hiking and the gym, dogs and travelling, which was spoke about a lot.
End of December he texted me a few days before saying, shall we go out on a date, I thought yes why not, we seemed to get on really well. We met locally to me, in a local pub to which seemed fine, but he was 15mins late and hardly found the place, only for me to nearly leave and hate to say no reception where this pub was too. Off to a bad start already?!? lol
However the date was one of the best I had been on, really fun, we laughed all night and got on like a house on fire and I couldnt wait for the next. The attraction was unbelievable to say the least!
What came next was unexpected. Apparently he was seeing one of my old school friends for about a month, he said, but really it was since March last year, on and off, so nearly a year once I spoke to my friend. He told her he couldnt see anything going forwards, but she was hoping there was more, she admitted she could never work him out but did admit he never mentioned to her commitment etc.
From that we were still in contact but I didnt hear from him in 3 days after the 2nd date, 3 days later he was very angry, to the point of saying I was rude not texting him when I got home, I was this, I was that, thought it was funny with his smiley faces and told me to lighten up and that he was joking, only for me to tell him to chill out, to which made me think why is this guy so angry, so upset and so strange in the way he is acting like he needs to get his own way or immature. It was at this point I thought, ok time to pull away.
He soon contacted again and we met up twice after this and I told him, to chillout, he said he had never had these feelings for anyone before, normally its a case of him not really liking anyone or there is something wrong with them, but he tells me that he likes everything about me and it scares him. He says I am or felt, out of his league and had so much going on for me it was a surprise I would like him. We had different back grounds but we were into the same things. However I gave him another chance after the initial anger and told him again to chill and that I would like to get to know him but worried about this other side to him or shall we say thought he was rather angry.
We went to the local pub to him and met up with some of his friends, we had a great night, everything went well, a few glasses later, not really drunk and we all head back to his for a chillout. However I tell him, I cant stay as I have dogs, which is true and secondly not quite ready to do anything as still getting to know him which was indeed true. He said that I could stay and he would get up early with me to walk the dogs but I still said no. We kissed, we cuddled but said ok time to go. As I was leaving he was, how can I say, moody! I said to him whats wrong, only for him to say its your rules or nothing! I said I am not too sure what you mean, he said it doesnt matter.
I said look, I am not looking for a quick fling, I want to get to know you hence going home and lets catch up over the weekend. He still stormed off.
On the way home was the shocker....
5 very long texts later, I receive messages hurling abuse at me calling me arrogant, I must have lipstick marks on the mirrors as I love myself so much (not sure what he was going on about with that) and just carried on hurling out all sort of nasty comments, for me to say enough. I didnt reply and that was me done with him but it didnt stop there.
The next day, saturday day time, I was with my family, and he tells me he isnt feeling too well, he only had a few beers, and that he wants to go for blood tests, but I still didnt reply as wasnt too sure what he was going to say next let alone where this was going.
That night, or more like early the next morning, just as I was getting up ready to walk the dogs, my car has been moved. Yes, the car had been moved backwards, with a nail in each tyre to which two had to be replaced, not only that but there was a message on the window saying what were you thinking you f*ing c**t! He had vandalised the car by hammering these very long nails into the tyres and also abuse too.
My first reaction was who could this be, then no with that note, it was him.
I contacted the police and they explained to me his ego must have been damaged and he didnt get his own way with you so his revenge was brutal and very evil indeed which it was to say the least and completely shocked me.They said if he contacs again, let them know to which I will do....
I have dated men who are somewhat rude at times but not to this level. We had a conversation this last time around about his behaviour and he said he gets insecure/worried and more so with me as he hasnt felt this way, but this I would never believe anyone would do or behave like and completely freaked me out.
I havent heard from him and this was last weekend, so fingers crossed I never do again!