We got back together end of last year after a few months on a break. Since then everything has been going great guns, but a couple of issues recently have made me question things - is it me, is he being unfair etc?
When we were talking about getting back together and having some honest discussions, he opened up and said that he'd felt historically a bit distant from me when I was on my period, as we wouldn't do anything beyond kissing then (admittedly in the last months before our breakup we had pretty much stopped having sex at all, at any time). Neither of us want to have full sex at this time - tbh I have heavy periods, and apologies for tmi but it would be a bloodbath if we did - but I was happy to agree with him we try and be more intimate etc. Another issue we talked about was hand jobs/ oral. I always found it really hard to get him there by hand, I have always liked oral and thought this would get him there if I couldn't by hand but he felt uncomfortable with me doing it (as his Exs before me always refused). So we both agreed we'd try more.
Things have been good since we got back together he's let me do oral a few times but really only in a 69 (which I'm not overly comfortable with, but have tried it). I've also got him there by hand a couple of times. Generally I feel that side of our relationship has been ok, certainly better than it was, and he says the same.
Last week I started my period, so before we next slept together (we don't live together so are only together 3 nights a week) I let him know. Then in bed, I tried using hand and mouth, but it wasn't successful and he asked me to stop.
He said that he felt uncomfortable and awkward not being able to reciprocate and it felt too one-sided, he wanted a more mutual experience. I can understand that, but from my POV, if he says he wants more sex/ intimacy when I'm on my period, he can't have it both ways?
He says that now we are regularly more intimate he 'doesn't mind' nothing happening when I'm on my period. But that's not what he said before, and I've always quite liked doing oral etc in the past so its not all one sided.
Which brings me on to the next issue. Now I completely understand that sex is a really personal thing, one persons turn on does nothing for another, etc. But I've had a fair few partners, and given them all oral successfully and without complaints. However my partner says that my technique 'doesn't work for him'.
While we split up he was seeing someone for casual sex/ as a FWB who was apparently really good at it. So I feel a bit slighted at the comparison, especially as I think the reason he (allegedly) enjoyed it with her was because - I'm not sure how to put this exactly - it was just about sex? As said, his previous Exs always refused oral, and even with me he used to ask how I could bear to do it, and never accepted it might be enjoyable for me...
He says I should accept him critiquing my technique and not take it personally. Am I being too sensitive about this? I don't know but it makes me feel shit, and surely no relationship should do that?
So am I misunderstanding, being too sensitive? Is he being unfair? Do we need to talk about this more? I'm not sure how to explain how I feel to him?