Would you go on a night out alone?

[TheresGotToBeMoreToLife]

I'm female, single, 34 and have my children 80% of the time whilst my ex husband does the remaing 20%.

In my free time I love to go out for a drink maybe one a month with friends. It's not with the aim of meeting a guy, but I am single and dont get along well with online dating so it would be welcome. We generally go out, few drinks, have a dance and go home by about 2am.

But just recently my friends have been so flakey. We all have children so we'll arrange a night out in about 4 weeks time, and inevitably at least 2 or 3 will drop out, be ill, have forgotten about other plans etc. The upshot is we end up postponing and I end up feeling really disappointed and let down.

I look forward to our nights out so much and since they are usually ditched at the last minute I end up sitting home alone and feeling annoyed that my rare free time isn't being used to best effect!

When we do actually make it out we always have a great time so I'm pretty sure it's not as if they dont want to come, and I'd say there's not one person who always organises it as it's more of a joint arrangement.

I was talking to another friend about it (who lives 200 miles away in London) and she said I should just go out anyway. On my own. I felt a bit flummoxed. Do people actually do this? Is it a thing? I feel like I would just spend the whole night alone and awkward and not speaking to anyone. I dont think I have the confidence but dont feel like I can keep relying on friends whi let me down so often.

Wish I had the nerve to go out clubbing alone!

I think if I was on holiday I would though.

I went to a pub on my own a couple of years ago - supported by people here actually!

I wanted to go out and had no one to go with. I wanted to see a band and drinkable at a local pub. So I did. A woman there dragged me to dance and, on the back of that night, I have met some realy lovely people and have a good social life going out to gigs etc.

I'd definitely recommend it.

As for the alone bit, as long as you are confident and happy to 'own your space' so you're not intimidated by crowds of people, it's fine.

I wouldn't go out drinking / dancing on my own - where's the fun in that ?

It's brilliant fun! There's something really liberating about being out on your own and dancing. I have a couple of beers but don't get drunk and get a taxi home. I've never had any bother.

Long time divorcee. Yes to going to a pub (early evening), restaurant, cinema on my own. Do it a lot in London or abroad. Honestly I wouldn't really go to a very busy pub later in the evening or to a club. But otherwise why not? Got to be honest though its definitely on my own -I never end up being sociable with other people.

Been to pubs on my own. You end up getting to know people.

Also: cinema, dinner etc.

Make some friends from work etc who don't have kids? Or let your friends know that it's really disappointing and could everyone make an effort to give as much notice as poss if they can't make it.

I’ve definitely gone clubbing with vague acquaintances I met backpacking, so in truth that’s probably not a huge improvement in safety. I just don’t like appearing to be alone in an occasionally predatory environment like a club can be, so even the flimsy “safety” of hostel buddies helps me feel more comfortable.

No way

You need more friends OP!

Look out for social groups on Facebook.
Where i live there is singles group and purely social group . They all hold sorts of events .

Happy to go out to the cinema, gigs, dinner, theatre on my own - but not clubbing!

I used to go out on my own all the time when I was young enough to stay awake. I don't agree that it was less dangerous in the olden days, I've been in some sticky situations, generally with the 'new acquaintances' who may or may not have your back in the club.

I enjoyed it and now I'm older go to the cinema, gigs, theatre on my own. Last few years I make it a rule not to drink unless I'm on a date. Go to the odd meet up group to see a different crowd occasionally.

I'd do cinema, theatre or something like that on my own, but I'd not go pubbing and clubbing it alone. I'd also feel weird and self conscious and trying to find latch on to people to talk to me.

I honestly don't think many people would do it alone. Would your friend? Has she ever done it?

I am actually so surprised at the amount of people saying not to do this? it's so strange - there is also a lot of scare mongering going on - does nobody travel home from nights out on public transport?? All these posts saying you must travel by taxi with a group or it's not safe?? I've been getting myself home all alone in London for the past 12 years on night buses and the tube (as have all my mates) - friends all live in various places around London so sharing taxi's would make no sense! You can't spend your life relying on other people to look after you!

The OP seems like she is up for this if she is even considering it - if she is happy enough to look after herself and feels she can get herself home safe and doesn't seem to have concerns about being out alone - am sure she would find people to chat to etc! Definitely go for it and enjoy yourself!

I'm so sad about the amount of comments basically saying it's not safe after dark for a woman to be out (in public places!) alone.

What a load of bs.

You can definitely go out alone, yes to a club if you want to, and survive.

I personally wouldn't enjoy it alone, I'm an introvert, but I can totally see how you can have fun dancing/listening to live music etc alone. You tend to meet people and chat to different people when you are somewhere alone too.

There are meet-up groups if you live in a populous area too where you can go out in a group if that's more your thing.

Go out, live your life, have fun and don't listen to the hermits on this thread who wouldn't go out after dark without an armed escort!

Never put yourself in a position where you can be that vulnerable. A friend got raped on the weekend it's not worth it at all!

I've gone to the cinema alone and I'd go to other activities but not drinking at night alone at all.

I would say yes, why not? Give it a go, and if you don't like it or feel uncomfortable you can come home at any point you like.

A lot of dating sites do arrange local nights out for people, is it worth going along to one of them?

Yes, I’m a single mum too and had the same issue.

I like the the village pub. I can drop in for a drink, I know most people by sight, people are happy to chat, I can join in a pub quiz, have a meal, and all completely relaxed.

I’ve been to the cinema on my own and a couple of gigs. I wouldn’t go clubbing by myself though.

But the op asked if people would? Going out to a club alone is pretty weird and definitely unusual and no I wouldn’t do it. Op wanted opinions. She asked if people do it and I don’t know anyone who does or would.

I’d go to the cinema, theatre, meal, a gig at at pub on my own. In fact I was in London a couple of weeks ago for work and had the last night I was there free so went for dinner and then a bar that had live music.

I had a great night, didn’t have to faff around getting in a ‘round’ with anyone, drank at my own pace, could go back to the hotel when I wanted without having to feel I was leaving anyone behind or making sure we were all together and checking everyone had a cab. Stopped at McDonalds for a double cheeseburger to take back to the hotel it was great.

No I wouldn't, it's weird.

I know a lot of female friends that go drinking in clubs & pubs at night by themselves and the only thing that happened is lots of attention & free drinks.

I will probably start venturing out by myself in the warmer months - I too have flaky friends and wasted a lot of evenings at home fuming last summer because they cancelled last minute.

My advice: don't get too drunk, make sure your phone is charged, make sure you've got enough £££ for a taxi home.

All the pubs should know about "Ask for Angela" so this is your back up if you're feeling vulnerable.

Go ahead and have fun

I have been to many concerts alone over many years, I go to the Cinema , museums, walks , shopping etc always alone.