Facebook

[McGuire]

A woman who my husband had an affair with many years ago has friended him on Facebook and he has accepted. As far as I know there is no other contact although he did give her his telephone number. She messages - happy birthday and he responds. Also they exchange news of what is going on bin their lives. I am very uncomfortable about this and he thinks I am being totally unreasonable. Am I?

No.

Of course not.

Are you going to tolerate it?

No.

Erm no! Tell him to block her or you’ll block him...... permanently

On what planet could you possibly be deemed unreasonable? Of course you're not, and the fact that he entertains this shows a massive lack of respect for you. What a twat.

No you’re absolutely not and I find it quite worrying that he’s done this

God no.

He removes her or it’s over.

Hang on. Many years ago?

Were you married to him at the time?

Was he married at the time? To someone else?

Do you mean someone he cheated on you with OP or just an ex from before your time?

Married at the time

But not to you?

Married to me

Ah hell no not if was married to you at the time.

That's fucking shocking

Nope. Totally disrespectful on BOTH their parts. It's actually disgusting behaviour and you deserve better. If he had any remorse for hurting you, than this wouldn't even be a topic for discussion. I wouldn't even threaten him, I'd have the conversation with him and then have one with a solicitor.

no WAY ?!

This is totally wrong. Your husband is an arsehole.

No, he is being very cruel.

I can't see how anyone in their right mind would this this is acceptable. On what grounds does he think you're being unreasonable??

You're being unreasonable to stay married to such a knob

He's seriously taking the piss.

Show him this thread, it’s a unanimous NO. Wants to have his cake and eat it, he can eat it out in the cold by his damn self.

You're unreasonable for being uncomfortable with him starting a process again that ended up in an affair last time he did it? That is a. So disrespectful and b. Him trying to tell you it isn't, is gaslighting and minimising the whole thing. Most people that feel genuinely sorry for having an affair feel bad for their partner and want to do anything to make them feel better but he is deliberately doing something that would make 99pc of the population feel uncomfortable

Oh god no then! In what universe can he possibly think that's ok? I'd love to know on what grounds he thinks you're unreasonable, does he not care that him being in touch with her hurts you and rocks your sense of security (totally understandably btw)? I would tell him that if he chooses to be in contact with her knowing it hurts you and undermines his marriage then you no longer want to be in that marriage. You do have to mean it though, would you leave him if he refused to cut contact do you think?

A truly remorseful man would never resume contact with OW. He is taking you for a fool by expecting you to fall for his ‘unreasonable’ accusation.

Are you going to tolerate his blatant contempt and disrespect?

Bloody hell, he's got some neck trying to make you feel like the unreasonable one.

As said above he should be doing all he can to make you feel secure, not this. Stunned!