Would this be a deal breaker for you?

[Fuckmyliferightnow]

If you thought for a year that your DP was cheating on you because he was being secretive and shady with his phone, then he confesses he's addicted to porn.

Then says it's porn and nothing else, but you manage to drag it out of him the next day that he has messaged other girls on Snapchat, only a handful of times "apparently".

I've been lied to and gaslighted quite badly for the last year at least, despite his blatant sneakiness. The lengths he went to were ridiculous.

Then when he confesses, breaks down and says it's due to stress and depression and that it has been a distraction from his shit life and job.

He has lied to my face and made me look crazy.
Oh and he's an arsehole in general but again this is down to mental health and being addicted to porn.

He didn't want me to know because he was ashamed.

WWYD?

Even though he's got you in his life, he reckons his life is shit? How insulting!

I'd dump him for that alone and his porn habit would make it doubly easy to get rid of him and not look back.

This is horrible for you, DC. You can tell from all the replies you've had here that his behaviour isn't within a mile of being normal or acceptable. And we can tell from your comments, and in many cases our own experience, that this fellow has been undermining you, probably for years. He's been chipping away at your self-esteem so that you doubt your own perceptions. Classic gaslighting!

You need to escape, for your DC's sake as well as yours. S/he should not be watching your father mistreating you and thinking this is normal.

Good luck with breaking free. You will feel so much better when you're not being undermined.

A lying sleaze bag . Why would you stay?

This is horrible for you AND DC

S/he should not be watching his/her father
Sorry, OP, it’s late!

Another red flag is he spends money on seemingly nothing .... He gets lots of money out in cash and it disappears.

So something is definitely going on. All the usual things that need cash - sex, drugs, gambling...but probably sex given the other evidence.

Get an STI test and make plans to leave.

STI test done and clear.

This shit for you. I had so similar crap from my H. And it is so hard to have to deal with.
The porn is bad enough but like you, a year later on though, it is the constant lies to my face that killed it.
For various reasons , he is still living in the house. And yes , he blames MH and is truly remorseful.
But , a year later on, I tell him that:
I don't trust him, I don't respect , I question every part of our previous relationship, all statements are suspicious not matter what it is about and finally , I am totally disgusted and repulsed by his sexual antics.

I think you too, will be like this.I am stuck with him at the moment. But you are young , don't waste your life with this loser.

I'm in my 40's and I wonder what my life has come to, all because of him.

I will lose my home and have to start again as a lone parent.

He will always be a thorn in my side regardless of our relationship status.

Yes, I too resent so much that he brought this shit into my life.

Take your time with any decision . You don't have to do anything at all until you are absolutely ready .

I am so sorry that you are going through this.

Maybe you will lose your home and be a lone parent, but your life will be on your terms, your new boundaries will be rock solid, you and your child will be front and centre of your life and you will have much more energy in time to enjoy life without all the stress he brings. I would add gambling to the mix if he is looking at porn all the time. Your life in 2 or 3 months will be better. Good luck

Thank you I needed to hear that.

I mostly feel overwhelmed at the moment, I have money to pay out on my car, so still have to rely on him quite a lot.

Take it one day at a time. Set up a claim for child maintenance, single person council tax discount when you get your new home, see what your entitlements are benefit wise and whatever your work status, you will have the time and energy to deal with in a few weeks. Write a to do list and you will be taking back control of your life and even if you're not as well off financially, no money in the world is worth giving up on any happiness in life for a lying, gaslighting, porn addicted arsehole with most likely a gambling problem to boot. You can do this one day at a time