Premature ejaculation

[Wheresmyshittingmeat]

Hi all. I'm feeling gutted and sick with anxiety tonight. DP has just randomly told me that he went to GP for some tablets as he doesn't think he can have sex for long enough before coming. I had no idea he was doing this or that it was a problem. We haven't been having sex that regularly as I have no sex drive. One a week or once every two weeks. Maybe three occasionally. I'm menopausal, had some gynae issues last year and now he wants me to have sex for ages. I'm horrified and he's now angry with me. I feel sick.

How damaged? Physically, mentally or both? Sounds like some counselling is required. Is there loss of affection as well as sex? Desire is more than just an act there is a whole lot of other things that need to be in place to inspire it. If DH is a good guy, he should be upset at the idea of you just going through the motions on his account.

I'm sorry it all feels so fucked up for you

Have you talked to him about your abuse history? Does he know how the menopause and gynae issues are making you feel?

I really think this is a communication issue and that you two having a heart to heart would be helpful.

Have you ever had any therapy for any of these things? Would your consider it?

I understand how you must feel. :( Have you told him? Not having sex is your prerogative as far as I'm concerned. No-one should feel they have to have sex they don't want.

I know it's probably an outlandish solution to most people, but would you be happy for him to have sex with other women? He could find someone who just wants that on Fabswingers or somewhere. It'd take the pressure off you.