Boyfriend - ghosting? help, need help if he replies

[confusedoldagain]

Hello wise mumsnetters....need some advice.

I have had a boyfriend for about 2 months, all was going well ( or so I thought). Last saw each other a few days ago. He usually initiates texting as do I. I have heard nothing for about 3 days now ( he has been online).

I can feel something is off, you know when you can just sense it! I was going to leave it but have sent a message saying:

Hello - what's wrong?

There is definitely something wrong. I find his behaviour quite bad to be honest, when we text the other day I asked is everything okay, he said yes but he was wondering if he had done something wrong. I said no of course not, and was friendly back as normal, now nothing.

I do feel like I am being faded out / ghosted....this isn't normal behaviour from him. If he doesn't reply I won't text again, but I would rather know where I stand. Hopefully if something is wrong he will just tell me!

Yeah I wouldn’t bother either. And agree he’s training you up to being scared to say no to him in case he huffs.

You deserve better 😘

8 weeks and already he’s acting like this.

Be grateful for the warning!

Block & ignore. Make plans for the weekend with friends...or another date.

Life’s too short to be messed around like this!

Ok yeah if he's just sulking because you wouldn't have sex that one time that's pathetic. Bit different if you had been together a couple of months and not done it at all, could see why he might question things but no in this situation he's being a twat.

He's showing you that his communication technique of choice is sulking and blaming.

It literally doesn't matter what you do from here - bin him off to his face, block him, ghost him, whatever you want. He is unable to cope with conflict and will be a mardy, stroppy arsehole if you break it off with him - and he will learn nothing from what you say - so if you want to make the best decision for yourself, I would ghost him.

Don't bother to officially end it, just ignore him and move on with your life.

He sounds delightful!

Planning a future after 2 months?

If you have explained to him why you had to leave and he is still behaving like this then I’d definitely end it.

Just say ‘I’ve told you why I had to leave. I don’t think me not having sex with you one time warrants a 7 day sulk. We are not compatible so I’m ending it’

He sounds ridiculous and possibly grooming you for more bad behaviour/abuse.

You need to tell him what a massive turn on it is for women to have a sulky man in their lives. It's something we all have fantasies about. There are websites dedicated to in. Sulkhub with endless videos of sulking men.
I for one am seriously jealous.

Sulking over sex? Op that's gross. Don't ever apologise for not wanting sex. You're a person, you can say no whenever you want. Block the twat,

No real update as such, except to say I haven't messaged him again, and he hasn't me.

I know in the past I would have as I would have wanted to sort, but I have looked at this and his behaviour is awful, so I'm not going to bother even sending a text, it's done as far as I am concerned.

I was thinking about something he said about his ex once, he said she used to bombard him with messages and get really angry at him.....I imagine this was now becuase he pulled the silent treatment / sulking treatment with her. It would be how I would have reacted when younger but not now.

I'm quite proud of myself actually!

Bloody well done, OP! Be proud as punch!

Definitely a game-player and a head-feck merchant. Best binned.

Again, SO well-done xx

Well done OP, you don't need a moody bastard childish sulker in your life.

He's late 40s?! I thought you were going to say late teens...

He thinks he's entitled to have sex with you whenever it suits him. He's shown you how he behaves if he doesn't get his own way and it's not a good look! Block & move on.

I agree with PP’s, block him. I’ve been ghosted before and it’s so bloody hurtful and confusing. Take the power back and move on to someone nicer. Look at it this way, whilst you’re analysing each text, Mr Right could be walking on by so don’t miss out.

Thanks all...

I'm not going to block, as I don't think he will actually be in touch. I have archived the messages though and am not reading over them.

It could be like a PP said and he's gone off me and this is his chosen way of dealing with it. Either way though I don't want someone that acts like this. It all very much points to the no sex though.

It really makes me wonder though....I really wouldn't have thought he was capable of this, and I am wondering about my characted judgment skills.

Wow, he sounds a real treat- you’ve had a lucky escape I think!

well done OP my ex did the same for about 3 weeks because I called him out for talking to me like shit. In that time i messaged to say that if this is the way he acts then as far as I am concerned its over. I've even seen him in the gym (this morn actually) and whilst he was ghosting me and he completely ignored me except for today when he stared me out.

like you if i was younger i would have sent more messages getting angrier at the lack of replies so I know how bloody hard it is to back away and not do that.

For the first time this afternoon I have been tempted to message, I'm not going to but I'm so bloody angry now.

Showing that anger will just let him know I am bothered which after his behaviour he doesn't deserve. He had the opportunity 2 days ago when I apologised and explained how he had made me feel upset - he didn't even acknowledge that part.

Well done, op. He's ridiculous.

Stay strong - do not message.

Concentrate on yourself, be kind to yourself, move one.

Don’t message OP. Don’t give your power away. If you message and he doesn’t reply you will feel 10x worse.

Just read this entire thread. OP just delete his number. Relationships shouldn't be this complicated, this early on. And it's not like he's a young lad. He should have more cop on and just be upfront and tell you what the problem is. Even if it is just not getting sex (which is sad.)

Reality is.. If he was ACTUALLY serious about perusing a relationship with you, he wouldn't leave you guessing. End of.

Op did he ever get back in touch?