Ghosted. What now?

[PollyJean]

So I have been ghosted by someone who I was in a relationship with for 1.5-2 years. He just disappeared a month ago and I haven’t heard from him since. I texted once but no reply. Before then we were in touch about 3-4 times a week. What next? How do I deal with this? I don’t think blocking him will give me any closure.

I think the end came when he moved. He hasn’t got you on SM because he is highly likely in a proper relationship with someone else. If you are in a long term relationship you should insist on a bit of openness and honesty. Don’t put up with bs like this again.

He sounds like a twat!

Our last text exchange was after a lovely chat on the phone. It was a kind of, thanks for being so wonderful kind of message.

No arguments but I felt he was less interested lately despite his nice words. Just a vibe.

Yes if he didn’t get the text then maybe he thinks I ghosted him but as I say, he did this once before so has form.

Block and delete him on everything. He isn't a normal person. He lacks empathy. Either your typical arrogant narcissist or perhaps even a psychopath. You already know this though don't you? That there was something very 'off' about him.

Take this as your chance to be free of him. And if he ever tries to come back, don't let him.

He isn't right in the head op. You need to break free of his spell.

I think you’re right. He has no empathy whatsoever. He’s a selfish, narcissistic person who finds it impossible to give for any sustained period of time. I fell in love with him and still love him but I won’t let him back to degrade, devalue, debase and discard me again. I want to stay strong. Problem is I suspect he’ll turn up with an understandable reason and try to win back my affections. He can be very charming but I suppose it’s just a false charm.

But the thing is op there is no 'understandable' reason to just vanish from someone. And you know that!

Even if your parents died or you get cancer or something truly awful like that and you wanted to be alone, you would at least text and say you need some space or something and 'don't worry, youve done nothing wrong, its something I have to work through myself' ect...

And I highly doubt those will be the reasons he gives anyway. It'll be some shit about not knowing what he wanted probably.

You need to take this time to work on your own boundaries so that you don't let him back again.

Watching youtubers on narcissists might help. Melanie Tonia Evans is good.

Sounds really weird tbh, what kind of person does that after so long. You're better off without him OP

Wrong thread have reported.

I think it's highly likely you're right and he's ghosted.

Was the last contact on WhatsApp? Even if it wasn't can you see if he's been online? Just trying to think of a way you can know for certain you are being ignored without contacting?

I think the fact you were seeing so little of each other and not in contact that often (I think you said three times a week - which isn't a lot considering it's been two years and you're long distance) plus you live far from each other means it's been easier for him just to withdraw.

It's cowardly and shit.

OP have you posted about this relationship before? It sounds very familiar. I recall the advice being to end the farce of a relationship. This is a dead end.

@MyuMe in the end he did it once too many times for me to put up with. Each time he did it I explained that a simple "sad face" emoji would be enough for me just to let me know he was depressed and didn't have words, but he couldn't even give me that. I found it disrespectful and it ate into my self esteem. Had he done that small thing we would probably still be seeing each other, loved him to bits but there has to be a point where you must give up.

I think no matter what he is doing, if your response to him disappearing is to only send one message and never check if he got it/if there is something seriously wrong etc, it is a sign that this relationship is not for you.