Have you ever checked a partners phone?

[GetMeCoffeePlease]

Please note that this isn’t about me!

I’ve been having a debate with my friend over the past couple of day’s as she has got into a rut of not trusting her partner and has checked his phone a few times while he is out the room saying she is sure something is going off that he’s hiding but also saying she wants to get evidence first before confronting him..

My argument is that, I just don’t believe that it’s right in checking phones. I think there’s a lot more respect on her behalf by just asking him outright and confronting him about her feelings. This way she’s not driving herself insane, she needs to have boundaries to respect him (even though she doesn’t feel like doing so right now) then if he comes clean and says somethings been going on then take it from there.

Most days she’s checked his phone and so far she has found nothing, so now she’s obsessed with doing it. I can honestly say, I’ve never done it and I really do not agree with it as I would hate for my own partner to do it to me out of pure respect.

I’ve ended up having enough of it today and snapped at her to stop being so bloody ridiculous and confront him in person or just drop it because I’ve had enough of hearing the same old paranoia...

What are you opinions about “phone checking”? Is this a thing that really goes on? Have some of you done it and found stuff out or are some of you on the same page of that it’s totally wrong?

I’m afraid its likely to be illegal - the offences are different according to whether you access email, phone messages or text messages but there are offences under the Computer Misuse act as an example. Everyone has an inherent right to Privacy and the fact you may find evidence of cheating doesn’t mitigate for how you came about the information. ( you commit the offence regardless) but it might prevent your partner from pursuing the matter. Being married doesn’t make any difference nor does the argument “ if you had nothing to hide why would you mind”. I can understand the desire to get to the bottom of what might be going on but I can definitely imagine a scenario of a crime being recorded -particularly in the throes of a nasty divorce. I dare say tracking devices and the like would be covered by stalking legislation.

www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/what-your-partner-spying-you-12462258

You are right.

I’d lose total trust and DH would throw away a 35 year marriage if I caught him checking mine.

I have with exes and my instinct was right. They were cheating.

I upped my standards and self esteem and my now DH is incredible. Never had the urge to check his phone and have never doubted him for a second.
Our phones are pretty interchangeable tbh and we both use each other's for calls/internet and have the same passcode for both phones so we don't forget lol