Photos of his ex

[mammyto4]

I found some photos in my partners phone of him and his ex, cute photos, she's on his lap, making faces together, smiling and a few of them proper smooching. Should I be worried he has kept them?

(No I wasn't snooping he can use my phone I can use his, I was trying to find our holiday pictures, and came across this folder with these photos in)

How long ago did they split up?

Over a year ago. So not a long time ago I know. Just find it weird when I was going through my phone I made a comment about finally getting around to removing all my ex's pictures from my phone and he said 'I did the same ages ago' but clearly didn't. 🤦‍♀️

Wouldn't worry me. I've probably got 100s of photos of my ex - I just can't be bothered to go through and delete them. I've moved on!

Interesting, mine has a pile of old school photo albums of holidays with his exes. I’m
Now wondering if I should be bothered?

Why would you erase your memories of what might have been a happy period. If not a happy or satisfying relationship

Please be kind. It's my first relationship after leaving a 12 year abusive marriage. (can't seem to edit post)

The first photos didn't bother me but the smooch ones do. I felt in the beginning that he maybe wasn't over his ex. But just brushed it aside.

Maybe they were placed in a different folder at the time and were overlooked when he went through his general album?

I've probably got a few ex pics on my phone somewhere but deleted most of them as I came across them.

I didn't do a ritual purge

If there are just a few photos, it sounds like he deleted most but kept a few favourites. Can you live with him still holding a small candle to her, rather than not being over her? It also depends on why and how they split.

Photography is a hobby. Ive got several thousand print photo’s taken over 30 years plus couldnt even tell you how many digital and have photos of every girl friend i ever had knocking about the place

A year is a good landmark to come to terms with losing a relationship...so if they split a little more than a year ago, your relationship must be less than a year? Still early days. Is he partner or boyfriend?

We all have a past not sure why we have to forget it ever happened when we meet someone new

Both DH and I have still got albums on our social media containing them photos of our ex partners. I don’t want to delete a whole holiday album with my friends just because my ex is in a few of them. It’s no big deal to us, there’s history and good memories. It’s just life I suppose! However, if he had them framed around his house then I’d be worried!

We got together about 9 months ago. They hadn't been split for long, she wanted the relationship to end, he didn't. What I can tell from their relationship it was toxic. According to his friends and family she was bad news.
I just don't want to be his rebound.

He’s probably just forgotten about it. It’s been there years and he’s not thinking about it

If they were naked, that would be inappropriate, but normal photos are part of everyone’s past. Assuming he doesn’t still have them hanging framed on the wall.

I still have photos with exes on social media (not kissing ones, as I wouldn’t post that on social media anyway), and I’ve been with my husband 11 years. I’ve never thought about deleting them. I can’t imagine anyone cares (I’m even friends on Facebook with one exes now wife!).

Hmm not sure I said he needs to forget, or even delete them. It's my first relationship after a bad marriage of 12 years. Second ever relationship, I'm not sure what the 'norm' is as I have not been in this situation before.
Just wondering if this should be something I should discuss with him, if I should be worried or if this is the normal thing.

Do you want to eradicate their whole past? Or only the bits you feel thretened by?

I'm also a photographer and understand that photography is a hobby. And have hundreds of photos on my drives. He doesn't do photography as a hobby. And has these in a separate folder on his phone.

I can understand this has made you worried but I think the issue here isn’t the pics, it’s that the pics have arised your suspicions.

Can you be open and honest with him and ask him if he has feelings for her?

I'm not sure where in my post I have asked him to eradicate his past??
I just asked if I should be worried that's all. Like is he holding onto feelings.
I haven't mentioned deleting pictures or removing anything.
And I know he has a past as do I. Just asking a question

My husband has old photos of his exes in similar scenarios. He says they are memories and part of his past. I am more the type to delete things. If they were naked then I would obviously not be happy, but I do understand that photographs are capturing a moment in time that will never come again, so I am okay with my DH having them.

I’d be more bothered as to why he told porkies about deleting them.

Thank you sunflower. Yes I think that's exactly how I feel.
I didn't want to just up and ask him in case my feelings are unreasonable. At the end of the day they are just pictures. But recently I have been feeling he's not over her. When she phones he goes into another room. He talks about her every day.
And then I saw the folder after he had mentioned he got rid of her photos (to anyone wanting to jump on that if you read further up i was going through my phone months ago deleting pictures of my ex husband and he made a comment about already having done so)

it's not he photos OP.. it's the LIE about photos that would bother me.. why did he not just say.. I've kept a few..

I think this is what has caused my current question of should I be worried. Because he said he had done so but he hadn't.
I didn't ask him to remove them or delete them he just said he had done so. But clearly hadn't. That's what I'm a bit ugh about