Photos of his ex

[mammyto4]

I found some photos in my partners phone of him and his ex, cute photos, she's on his lap, making faces together, smiling and a few of them proper smooching. Should I be worried he has kept them?

(No I wasn't snooping he can use my phone I can use his, I was trying to find our holiday pictures, and came across this folder with these photos in)

I don’t think anyone should have to delete photos of their ex...but the red flag for me is that he offered that he’d deleted those pictures. Therefore he set the expectation that they should be deleted. To have saved some in a folder looks deceitful.

Why is she phoning? Do they have kids together?

Look, he’s your partner. Communication builds trust. You need to be able to communicate. Speak to him - you aren’t being unreasonable in calmly questioning this. All the best.

What are his reasons for having phone calls with her? I think it’s pretty wise to follow your intuition Op, sometimes we can just know

Why are they still talking on the phone ?

Talking about her every day is not a good sign. If they have children together, then the phone calls are fair enough. If not, is she trying to hook him back in if her affair didn't work out? Is she playing him precisely because she is toxic? He needs to make a choice, if the latter, or importantly, you do.

Yes they have a kid together, the phone calls don't bother me. He use to however talk to her in front of me, if she rang he would just answer the call, but recently he will leave the room and take the call. Or phone her when he is at work ECT.
She is playing him, I don't get involved with what goes on unless it's about us having the kids (they have one together and she has one from a different t relationship but my partner still sees him) other than that I have no involvement.

Hmmm some other stuff going on here

But the photo thing is not a big deal - i have photos of me & ex boyfriends and I’d never dare delete them or throw them away - it was years of my life I spent with him and you can’t just wipe that out/delete a whole part of your life !!

You should have a frank discussion. Tell him that he mentions her every day and it's starting to feel significant. Tell him that he no longer speaks to her in front of you. Ask him if they have discussed getting back together. Tell him this is his chance to be honest. If he tries to minimise or stonewall, etc. then you have a problem. A straight, direct comment is useful to test their reaction.

I still have photos of my ex to remind me what I don’t want! I wouldn’t worry also I feel complete indifference when I look at them which is rare.