Help - is this normal pre-date behaviour?

[ashleyanne2016]

So met a guy just before Xmas at a party, seemed nice shared a kiss at the end exchanged numbers. He texted me over Xmas about meeting up - arranged to met up next week, holidays abroad for both of us hence the delay. All fine. Issue is he keeps instigating texts with how was your day? your weekend ? etc. I reply it's ignored for days on end, I get a text again how was your day etc. Got a text yesterday how was your weekend? again replied - ignored again. Got a bit pissed off over it, texted this morning to say that I wasn't sure about meeting up seeing as his texts seem really insincere why bother texting me when he's obviously not that interested in how my day/weekend actually went as he ignores it. Got told to relax and chill out, not to read into things, we were still meeting up, didn't reply. Got about 8 texts in the space of 10 mins didn't respond to any.

Replied tonight and said I text you back as it's polite and the decent thing to do, not because I've nothing else to do, told him I've actually cancelled a date to see him on the same night and I really can't be bothered if he's playing mind games. That I would have preferred if he's not a texter, just don't text me we made plans, I agreed I'd see him on the night.

He started grovelling saying oh I'm crap with texting, I'm better chatting 1:1, I'm sorry will you still see me?. I haven't replied.

I'm out of a 15 year relationship about 10 months and this is my first date but is this crap normal? My friend said Red flag! would appreciate some wise MN's advice.

This is called "breadcrumbing" or "benching". It's bullshit, and I'd put a stop to it.

Here you go @ashleyanne2016

Am I the only one who doesn't know what an Aubergine means?? Got one once but ignored it as didn't know

Aubergine = erection. Urgh

Oh dear. No comment

I've got a friend who does this it drives me up the wall!

He's not that interested. He should be showing you his best self at this stage. Is this his best self?

@Hadtoask it's where you text no reply and you text again

@TwentyViginti haunting happens after you've been ghosted. It's when they mooch around in your SM by watching your Instagram or Snapchat story or sporadically liking your posts.

Thank you @AFistfulofDolores1, got it agreed! thank you everyone for the wise words and advice. I did get an apology this morning regards the aubergine but too late. I have now deleted and blocked. @anotherdisaster obviously not his best self or maybe he thinks it is ha!

So you lied to him about having another date when you were threatening to cancel and telling him not to play games? This is a red flag for him. You're now writing a post online about someone not replying quick enough to your messages, whilst trying to claim that you're calm and chilled on the matter. It doesn't seem the two of you are very compatible.

I think anyone who can read can see you were playing games too. Not answering messages either..lying about dates etc texting is such bullshit! Just meet or don't. No need for massive chats in-between

@oofadoofa you need to read my post I never lied about cancelling a date and no threats involved. Also not replying quick enough wasn't the issue, again read the post but I agree on the fact we aren't compatible.

@Onemansoapopera I didn't answer his messages yesterday as I was waiting to see what to do and needed advice from MN's no games, again no lying about dates read the post. As for massive chats none involved he was instigating every one I was just replying with a line or two and then ignored for days.

Thanks again to all the MN's for the helpful advice