Sexless marriage- is this ever ok?

[boredwithfootball]

Does anyone live happily in a long term sexless marriage?

Not unless its mutually, actively, wanted.

I'm sure some people do, not many but some. Are you in one and unhappy op, because if so, that's different.

Well not happily......but to be honest I am so used to it now. Apart from this I love my marriage and am really happy. Occasionally it gets me down but in the grand scheme of things it seems not a huge problem compared to other issues we could have

The general opinion is if both parties are happy with no sex then good for them, no problems, but if either isn’t then there’ll be resentment and trouble.

Are you in one?

In my experience, no.

Same as user above - used to it but it doesn't feel right. I just don't know how to fix it after literally years.

I think it’s very rare but possible for both parties to be genuinely happy about it.

I personally couldnt but I think it's possible.

But it's really irrelevant whether other people are happy in a sexless marriage, if both parties aren't happy with it in any marriage then it's never going to be okay

I couldn't. DH libido been low for the past year or so due to many factors and I've found it hard to deal with on so many levels , despite loving him dearly

I am and have mostly come to terms with it - my beloved DH has a serious medical problem and requires medication which renders him impotent....we have with dr tried everything. I take strength from the knowledge that if the situation was reversed I would hope for understsnding not desertion....

It's hard to be in a sexless marriage if that is not what you want. It can impact upon your self esteem

We do it around once a week I'm just 30 hes nearly 35 married nearly 9 yr together 12. Hes currently sulking as our 10 year old woke up and we had to stop lol.

It's what makes you happy.

Depends on age and what you mean by sexless ... where medical reasons mean intercourse isn't possible there is still other options or simply cuddling, as you get older not everything is as simple as youngsters can imagine however I need the closeness of being with another for sure. My stbexh was barely interested for many years, once or twice a month but now that's new relationships for you!

I'm in one, it's been almost 9 years now, and I'm talking no sex, no touching, no touching, no kissing, nothing at all. I am really unhappy, but dh says he's so used to it now he's prepared to live the rest of his life without it so that we stay together. He has assumed all this time that I didn't want sex, so hasn't tried to initiate anything, and tbh I don't want him to as I just don't fancy him at all. There are loads of other problems too. But, as others have said, if it's a mutual agreement then that's fine, but if one partner wants different things, where do you go from there?

If neither party wants sex it's totally fine. If one does, they are mutually incompatible (ie nobody's fault).

Then there are open relationship agreements but that can get complicated.

I think it depends on Whether you still have a deep comnection. Some couples can without sex and are still happy, others not. The question is, if this is you are YOU happy with it?

I think it depends why did you stop? Was it a decision or was it an illness?
Was it one side or both?

Of course it's 'sometimes' okay!

Are you saying men who have had prostate cancer treatment leaving them with long-term side effects or women who have had cancer treatment that affects sex/vagina etc can't be happily married?

I think babies got in the way then never got back into it then the longer it goes on the more difficult it is to fix or even talk about. I'm not unhappy in my life but because of this I don't think I would describe my marriage as happy. And it's not just sex it's no touching or kissing or anything.

I personally could not. Sex is really important to me and its not just about the physical act of sex, its also about intimacy and feeling close to someone and feeling sexy and desired which I think are important.

That said, I'm sure many people have sexless marriages and are fine with it. You cant generalise- it really depends on the couple. The only time this wouldnt work is if one person is happy being asexual and the other partner wants sex.

One of the best decisions my DW and I ever made was when our DCs were young and sex was in danger of slipping off the agenda we agreed that we should not go longer than a week without. That was about 20 years ago, we are in our early 60s now and still do it at least once a week. Use it or lose it.

Depends if you both wait it to be sexless. Otherwise, no, it can become a big issue

• want not wait

My marriage has become increasingly sexless (and no intimacy, kissing, massages etc etc) and I'm fed up to the back teeth with it and incredibly resentful. Despite that I love dh very much and do not want to split up. To complicate matters I'm disabled and wouldn't have the ability or inclination to go out and meet someone else.

We have a very happy content marriage in other ways, shared interests, no arguing, enjoy each other's company. But literally all I receive in the way of intimacy is a peck on the lips a couple of times a day. Most of the time I'm ok but other times, like today, it destroys me

I see no solution to my situation. DH won't address it and hates to discuss it. His list of excuses is endless, and I have no desire to make someone have sex with me if they don't want to. I just wish he wanted to.

If it is something that you want to fix, OP, then try.

Is your H unwilling to have sex?

Ease yourself into it. Treat it like a new relationship, testing the waters and feeling for your boundaries.

Start being a little more tactile with him. Put your hand on his leg while he's driving. Touch his shoulder or his hair as you pass him. Sit close to him on the sofa. Kiss him. He's your husband, just go for it.

If he's uncomfortable with any of this he will ask you to stop. But chances are, if it's something you're not communicating, it's an issue for him too.

The best way to exit a sexless marriage is to have sex.