I am under a huge amount of pressure at work (my business) and at home. We have 2 DCs age 4 & 5.
I desperately need out of the relationship. We aren’t married. We are not compatible, we never have been sadly. I’ve had depression on and off for a long time, plus other health issues. I have told him many times that we need to split, but he won’t accept it. Everything is on my shoulders, he won’t take any of the blame, and he wants to make it known that I am the reason for splitting up the family, and for everything else that hasn’t worked out in our lives. It’s all my fault apparently.
He goes on and on and on, creating a horrendous atmosphere at home. This weekend was a prime example. I begged him to stop, to just be kind, even to just put on a front until Monday when the kids are at school. But he can’t. So it goes on and on, until I am at breaking point.
I can’t go on like this. He won’t go, and we have no money for him to do so anyway. If he were to go he said he wants a nice flat and enough money to kit it all out... but I can’t afford it. He doesn’t earn anything himself as he is meant to be going self employed, but hasn’t started yet. So again it comes down to me.
I am deeply ashamed I shouted at my DC today, and I had a meltdown essentially. They then left the house with their dad and I have been in bed since. Considered getting myself sectioned, but I honestly think I would be ok if he wasn’t here. I can’t think straight. I do know if this carries on I will have a breakdown. Please help me figure out what to do.