What happens if sole custody is given to the father?

[Fifi223]

I just want to find out, what happens if the sole custody is given to the father? Am I going to lose my benefits, housing? Any advise please?

Some of your benefits will go and may be subject to bedroom tax.

Maybe speak to CAB?

Are you getting any support?

You'll lose child related benefits yes, things like child benefit etc. The father will be able to claim those, rightly as the child/children will be living with him. Are you working?

Is he likely to get residency?

You won’t be eligible for any child-related benefits eg child benefit, you shouldn’t lose your housing but may have to pay bedroom tax, you will be legally required to pay maintenance depending on the contact agreement (he could be the ‘resident parent’ but still have 50/50 contact in which case you won’t have to pay maintenance. If you only see the child occasionally or never then you will have to pay maintenance)

You won’t lose housing if you can pay rent but depends on the terms of your tenancy. Is it a secure tenancy? Private?

You will lose whatever benefits are related to being a parent yes - so you may have to change to being a job seeker as a single person

You may also be liable for child maintenance

Have you got real life support, OP?

Is this a genuine possibility due to court etc or is it something your ex is threatening you with?

It’s very unusual for a court to award sole custody to one parent, so just to reassure you that your ex is talking out of his arse if it is just him threatening it.

But yes, as PP have said, you will lose any child related benefits you have, plus you’d be assessed as a single person for any other benefits.

Is this your ex threatening you op? How old is your dc? What benefits do you get now? It's only the child elements you'd lose and child benefit.

Have you got legal advice?

It's pretty standard for abusive men to say they'll go for residency and claim you're crazy and unable to have the kids. Mine tried it. Then when it went to court he says he only wanted them one weekend a month. Wanker.

If the children have lived with you up til now and there’s no concerns about their safety when they’re with you then he’s very unlikely to get residency, he’s just trying to upset you

Yes I've come back from a court hearing today which was a FDRHA hearing with no directions first if all, which got adjourned as the court didn't specify that I was supposed to bring my children to the court. Secondly, like any other garden gnome abusive/manipulative father of the children out there he mentioned about having sole custody of the kids. Harassing me to put everything down in writing so he can use against me. He mentioned things like kids spending more time with him then me, and an unfit parent to look after my children and bs. Since he is the applicant, he wants me to comply through the court to take out 50 50 custody of the children which is already in place, where the children spend every weekend from friday to sunday evening with him and I take care of the children from Monday to friday mornings. Half of the holidays are shared between parents. Wants to have my older girl spend 1 and 2 more nights with him and asking me to comply to his request to excuse him for paying any child maintenance to me.

I get child tax credit, housing benefit and child benefit. Have a part time job yo supplement other expenses of the household. Have an extremely high work ethic and he uses that against me by saying that I'm more career focused then take interest in looking after my kids. Lovely lies

I've worked so much, at times having 2 jobs to support my family, while he sits there not paying mr child maintenance for months and drags me into court for leaving my children with the childminder at odd timings, summoning me to court and making me out to be an unfit parent to look after them

There has been no concerns in terms of safeguarding issues, they have been taken care of and looked after.

He mentioned and manipulated my conversation in the court by claiming that I asked him to move closer to my area so he can pick and drop the kids from school if he is really that concerned for their safeguarding, only to be manipulated by saying that I asked him to claim 50 50 custody of the kids and wants 1 kid to stay 2 more nights at his place while the living arrangements for the other child remains the same which is a very distressing and disruptive pattern he is choosing to implement.

The one he is after is the one who doesn't want to spend time with him while the one who is more attached to him is an unwanted child.

The reason why I asked this is because, he has started a game to drain me financially as i sort direct access to represent me in court. As the meeting got adjourned, the barrister is now asking me for more than double the fee of the fdhra hearing he represented me in the court with and is not willing to negotiate a reasonable price. He also have gave me hope before this meeting that he will put an injunction to recover the cost if the time money and effort spent in giing to the court hearing, which he then mentioned that it will be impossible now and there is no guarantee that I will recover the cost after the final hearing and also there is no guarantee that the next will be a final hearing which will last a day or 2 on a term time despite of school holiday and everytime the hearing is adjourned in aspiration of gathering more evidence the barrister will charge me for any upcoming sessions which I believe will be double the price of any preceding hearings if access his services for future hearings.

What do you mean you were supposed to bring the children to court? Normally the children would NOT attend a hearing. Are you certain you understood proceedings? Are you able to afford a solicitor or to access legal aid?

The next hearing will be longer which is why it costs more - more hours charged.

Unless ex settles, yes, there will be 2 or more further hearings and it will go to final hearing.

Child arrangements almost never (basically never) involves a cost order. You won't get the money back from ex.

A solicitor could hire a non-direct access barrister and would brief them and attend to assist. This could improve your outcome. Is this something you could afford?

The children will now be interviewed by Caffcass at my house and I believe at his house as will and are asked to come to the hearing on 4th of March with the parents. This has caused utter disruption in my routines at my house as I have noticed a drastic change in my behaviour and 9f ky children. We are suffering from mental health problems such as paranoia, extreme mood swings, anger, frustration, wasting of time, aggression and depression. I had to approach social services to seek access to a counselling service for my older daughter as she is desperate to speak to intervention service to understand her issues as she does not want to discuss them with her parents, whereas I have to access IAPT service to sort out my mental health issues.

I cant. Is there a way I can represent myself now as I cant afford this much money represent me in court. And yes, it was the judge has specified it today that normally in such hearings children are supposed to attend hearings for the court to hear their side of the story as they are old enough to make their own decisions.

I cant access legal aid

I'd ask for this to get moved to legal Op as it all sounds unusual. I've been to court many times with my ex and the children have never been required to attend. That's what cafcass are for. Has the judge ordered a full report? It's a section 7 or 8 I seem to recall. Your barrister should have debriefed you after the hearing. Maybe ask for it in writing.

The judge gas mentioned something about a full section 7 report from Cafcass and I'm currently in the process of briefings if the court hearing this afternoon.

What's your take on being represented in court by a family member? Or can I take a family member with me to the final hearing?

Is English your 1st language?

I ask as there is something quite odd about the phrasing of your posts and - if I'm right - this suggests you may have issues with understanding the proceedings and your legal advice. If I'm right, I would strongly recommend you consider using an interpreter with experience in legal proceedings. You own contributions will be vital to a successful outcome in your case.

No one else is allowed in the court room with you. Unless you want a Mckenzie friend. I'm not sure how that works though so you'd have to google it. I'd stick with the barrister if I were you. The section 7 will possibly include the children's wishes and feelings. How old are they?