Do you and long term partner laugh together?

[Whereisthelaughter]

I've read a couple of threads in the last week which have touched on this as part of a wider issue, but it is something which has niggled at me for a while.

Been with partner for 15 years. We don't sit and laugh together. We will laugh AT things which happen together, at a funny show, a comedian etc. We both have a sense of humour. But we don't ever sit and talk and have light hearted chats where we make each other laugh. I don't want to be rolling around on the floor in stitches all night, but when I meet up with my friends, they and I laugh a lot together.

Is this just a symptom of a long relationship? We get along, we can sit and chat etc. But we never have that light hearted chit chat, fun and laughter.

Probably sounds ridiculous to ask, but interested to hear if there are a lot of people in long term relationships who have sustained it.

he isn't a laugher- odd as that sounds. Has always been a bit of a wry smile kinda guy and rarely belly laughs. Yet in most of my other friendships I tend to be the person who makes people laugh,

I 100% relate to this. :(

My husband is hilarious in a wry sort of way, so yes, he makes me burst out laughing frequently. But he's defective in other ways, if that helps.

We've been together for 20 years now.

We do and it would be a deal breaker for me if we didn't. Couldn't care less about sex though. We are all different.

He does make me laugh still. Annoys me sometimes too but can defuse with lighthearted stuff so never grumpy or sulky. We’ve been together for just under twenty years.

yes we do, always have

Yes. Been married 13 years and still laugh together. He’s 19 years older than me and we’ve always been on the same wavelength. He’s wonderful.

Been married 20 years and probably laugh either together or at each other daily. But then he makes an effort to do funny things, things which also make our teen sons laugh.

I think for a relationship to last there has to be an underlying friendship. I have friends who are naturally funny but also friends who are just completely lovely but who don't make me laugh very often. That is just them and I accept that. Our friendship is great.

Maybe you need to focus on what you have rather than what you perceive as not having. Are you looking to pick holes in your relationship? We can all do that.

Yes. He makes me laugh all the time. He is generally a funny person though.

Thanks everyone. No I'm not looking to pick holes, this is something I feel is lacking, and don't really know how else to explain it other than how I have up thread, I guess I thought it was natural to go, I can't imagine us being like that now, it seems so far from where we are. So I wanted to hear from others as to whether it is sustainable over such a long time. Whilst logic tells me it is, for me, it's helpful to hear from others.

7 years here and we always laugh together, whether in person, sending a jokey text/gif or FaceTime where we’re chatting shit. He says I remind him of his mum who was also very funny apparently, and says it’s one of the things he loves most about me, that he wasn’t even aware he was looking for before we met. Previously I think he’d reserved ‘being funny’ as something he expected from friends rather than girlfriends, so I don’t think everyone necessarily sees it as important.

He’s one of those people who laughs with everyone though. It sounds like his day at work is 50% boring meetings and 50% larking about.

I can’t imagine being happy in a relationship where we didn’t laugh together. In fact that’s one of the first signs that we’re drifting apart a bit, we have our ups and downs like everyone, and sometimes that light hearted side goes, and I have to tell him we need some time together to get it back on track. It helps that we do get a decent amount of time with just the two of us when our DCs are with their other parents, so we get time to just be ourselves. The stress of parenting can knock the humour out of a situation quite quickly!

And like others, our relationship clearly isn’t 100% perfect but I think the underlying friendship helps to resolve the other shit. Maybe for other people their OH is more useful around the house or is more organised or something. We all bring something different to the table. If the lack of laughs is indicative of a lack of closeness it’s a problem. If it’s just different personalities then not so much.

Yes, we have our "in"jokes and he always makes me laugh, so much that I end up with tears streaming down my face and cannot stop. We laugh at films too together. 32 years together

@RUSU92, what you say is so true. This question actually cheered me up about my relationship, which likewise is far from perfect. DH has never been physically affectionate, and I've always found that really hard - at times it's come close to a deal-breaker. And our sex life is a challenge - since our second child has been born, my sex drive has been non-existent, whereas his has increased (he never quite seems to grasp that if he was more physically affectionate, I might be in the mood more often!)

And yet this thread made me realise that actually yes, we do still laugh together a lot. And we talk - never about our relationship, or emotional stuff, he doesn't really "do" emotion - but we discuss politics and share interesting information and discuss and debate issues that are important to us.

And lastly I suppose it's reminded me that we are a good team. We pull together, we help each other out, in most ways we are equal partners. And we laugh together. It's not a perfect marriage, no - but thinking about all that reminds me that it's still a bloody good one.

13 years, many ups and downs but we still laugh, at and with each other, about something or nothing

Yes we do, but it's about all we do together these days.

You say you laugh at TV shows/comedians....are you saying that if it's just the two of you having dinner, that it's serious and dull?

I've been with DH for 11 years and yes, we laugh together.

11 years together and we laugh a lot. DH is hilarious, i adore his sense of humour. I laugh more with him than anybody else.

Yes! 30 years on, he makes me laugh every day! We both have a good sense of humour, quite dark due to our careers I think, but we laugh a lot!