Husband can't get over my past

[Kidsdub]

My DH had yet another argument about my past sexually partners I had more than him. Over the years when this subject came up he'd say u never mention him so like how many have u had ? I get defensive etc and we'd argue and eventually get over it. It always comes up again and again he'd say u never mention that one. Lately we have not been getting on but I thought we were getting on better than this comes up again. Again he says I lied and never mentioned that one, I've only had 7 boyf before him but he'd had only 2. He is saying I'm a liarer and it's not how many it's the lying. We are together 17 years and not once has he had trust issues in out relationships I've never once been untrustworthy. Hes now saying he can't believe me and cant move on. I dont think I've lied but because he makes me feel awful I may have but thought I told him everyone.

Kick HIM out ... he's disgusting...

paranoidmum2 you say gas lighting which he seems to do, i didn't know what it meant but I thought a friend was doing it a while bk and then actually thought my DH does at times.
I love my him and apart from this we generally have a laugh together but lately things aren't great. I'm actually very confused now as normally I run bk say sorry try 'fix' it and get extremely insecure but I don't want to do that now ( I may tomorrow) but feel I should try not too. I havent been great to him, I'm not very affectionate or want sex often and he does I dont like going out often he does and this has caused issues our differences. I'm so confused and since he came home he's bearly spoke to me.

This is His problem. He has a problem with feeling inadequate, it has nothing to do with you.
He needs to get over himself.

He just sounds like he’s insecure about you lately, along with the other stress.

Assuming you love him and want things to be ok, give him some extra attention and reassurance and I suspect things will get back to normal for him.

Especially since the dc is stressing you both, try to do somethings together to take your mind off of it.

OP, it won't look like abuse until you realise that it has happened to you.
I would suggest to him that he mentions anyone you might have been with before you met him once more and you'll be filing for divorce.

Thank you all again for your advice it really helped me. I've not made a move to resolve this as I feel the ball is in his court so I'm getting the lovely silent treatment. He's actually been in awful form today but I've just gotten on with what I need to do. I hate this atmosphere but dont know how to move forward I don't want to end our marriage but dont want to put up with this stuff either. Any further advice.

You dont really have another choice. It's either suck it up, or tell him to knock it off or its over and mean it. There's no inbetween.

He has to want to get over himself and it sounds like he enjoys this cycle of punishment he's stuck in. Passive aggressive as he's doing now is emotional abuse.

I don't want to end our marriage but dont want to put up with this stuff either.

He isn't going to change so the price of staying in your marriage IS putting up with his stuff ABUSE. Call it by its right name.

You can't have your cake and eat it too.

17 years of that nonsense. You must be a true martyr. Your Husband doesn't like or respect you. Where there's no liking or respect, there's no love.

Only you know if it's worth staying with him and wasting ever more years trying to convince him of your worthiness.

Unfortunately women who stay with men like this simply will not learn until they are unceremoniously dumped.

All the signs are there that you are no longer his 'one', that's if you ever were. You may choose to stay with him but I doubt he will choose to stay with you.

Does your husband not realise that he is immature,and insecure about this non issue. He is just harming his own mental state, and making you annoyed, which is spoiling your every day life, well both your lives really.

He’s up to something or he’s cheating or cheated

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